My Life. My Diary.

How to commit suicide

Something must be seriously wrong wif me. After doing RJ today.. u know what i was surfing the net for? "How To Commit Suicide"! What the..! What was I thinking? No! What AM i thinking?

hahaha! I just took a quiz for "signs of commiting suicide". I mean, it was suppose to assess a fren of yours whether he/she is going 2 commit suicide. i took it in the place of a fren to assess myself. let you see the results.

FEEDBACK FROM YOUR RESPONSES

Thank you for taking the first steps to help your friend.

Your responses indicate that someone you know may be seriously considering suicide. You are helping your friend by Acknowledging these warning signs are serious, and Caring enough to talk to your friend about it. Now it is time to get professional help. Remember, your friend will be more willing to talk about his or her problem and get the Treatment he or she needs with your support and friendship.

* If you checked boxes under Part I only, your friend or loved one may be at risk for suicide and should seek professional help immediately.
* If you checked boxes under Part II only, your friend or loved one may be suffering from depression or bipolar disorder and should seek further evaluation with a mental health professional or his or her primary care physician. To learn more about depression and find a National Depression Screening Day (NDSD) event near you, click on your state on our screening event locator map. You may also want to learn more about the relationship between depression and suicidal behavior.
* If you checked boxes under Parts I and II, the suicide risk is even higher. Strongly encourage your friend or loved one to seek professional help immediately.

it's hilarious right! wahahahah! darn farnie loh! Seek immediate help?! Actually, i ticked both part I and II, so that makes me HIGHLY depressed! wahahahahah! I'm like the happiest girl in the world, my GOD! Ok.. whatever.

okay, so now i'm super bored. OH YA! Today is the match of "Argentina vs Germany"! I'm secretly vouching for Argentina to win, not that i bet or anything.

I have tuition 2mr again. I hope i'm a good tuition teacher so far.

my friend says i'm a cheap labour. *_* But i just want to give an affordable price such as that parents would be able to improve on their children's education and at the same time, support them. I mean, the families that i am teaching right now, financial wise aren't stable, that's why, i would like to help them. is that wrong? :(

I'm feeling really pale and tired lately.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

10:25 PM

Desperate man = no future

I realize that in Singapore, there's lotsa desperate men who just do not have the money to go geylang and they ended up pathetically checking out on ladies on the street greedily like they are some sorta dinner. it is totally gross which makes me wanna puke.

What's worse is that they are lingering under my block. They make not-funny-jokes just 2 get my attention. Well, they are successful in doing so, it makes me wanna turn my mp3 on louder.

Fyp meeting is cancelled due to some disputes which i shall not state out here cos it's kinda personal. I just hope that everything'd turn out fine.

I'm so afraid of year 3... darn.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

11:12 PM

Why! Of all campus, why this!?

I seriously detest this campus. What. The canteen foods are worse that prisoner's every day meals. Having wireless is equal to none. RP has too much spare money for electricity cos it's darn cold in the campus everyday. I'm freezing cold here! What are the facilitators etc are, man. Eskimos?

I'm tired, in fact, i seem tired every other day. And my UT grades sucks like shit.

I'm starting 2 get really depressed. Look at the bright side of life?

Ha!

How can i when i dun see any bright sides of it?

My fren once asked this.. "If there is really someone up there, why are people suffering here on earth?"

Yesterday, i was having a really bad headache. Once i moved my head, there's like a ball rolling inside. I went to my student's house to pass her solutions for math worksheet. I only wanted to pass her cos it's her math lesson 2mr and she hand in. Ended up, i spent 2 hours there teaching. I was down with fever and headache by then.

But.. heck.. i bought potato chips back home anyway. ^^

The rest of the dreary afternoon, i spent in on math and final fantasy. It was quite relaxing though. I was happy becos all four of us sat down and have our lunch together. Hey, it's not everyday we are able 2 do that. It's been... quite a few months that we have meals in proper at home. Miss those times. well.. anyhow... whatever.

World cup season, people are losing their beauty sleeps just for it.

My grandma asked.. "What is so exciting about chasing after one ball? Why not just give a ball each to one team?" aha! She's taking all the fun away from football.

But, it's true to certain extend, ya know.

I wonder why anyone would bet on football. Why allow your wealth be in 22 players's hands? Hey come on man... i mean, okay... you bet... but then, have certain limits lah! My God! Dun take the risk! Dun be dumb, can.

Nowadays, lotsa ppl kept asking me to go church. I'm sorry but even if you chop off my arms, chop off my legs, whatever, i won't go. Okay, that was a little exaggerating. Even if you give me $100, i won't go.

I'm strictly either a free-thinker or a buddhist. Dun drag me to services etc becos i'm not someone who is very religious. I believe that to certain extend, in fact, most of th perecentage, we are able to control our own lives. I told myself, i won't enter any church anymore after i went to City Harvest. Kaixin's fren nearly dragged my down to the front stage to rejoice or something. It was SO embarrassing especially the way they raise their arms to sing. i dunno. Maybe they find that they are able to communicate with Jesus or something, that's what i heard but then, hey.. i'm sorry, man.. i dun believe in that. So, pls respect my decisions. My God! They were verbally dragging me down! I've to exclaim, "no! i'm a buddhist!" so that they are able to get the idea. For one month, the girl kept calling me to go out for lunch/dinner etc. But hey... ho ho, sorry...i really detest it when ppl tries to influence me into their religions. I hate it, in fact. What you believe is your belief. It doesn't applies to everyone else around you.

My mom particularly does not like christians. I dunno why. Erm.. actually.. i know why but i forgot. She says it's difficult for a buddhist and christian to be 2gether becos there'd be conflicts on lifestyle. And plus... if my husband were to be christian, i'd have to convert and my mom do not want that. But, it's hard to go against fate ya know. If darn suay you like a person who is a christian, that's the life you have to accept which i hope i won't come across. Why want to give up your own religion for your bf/gf? It's darn dumb, ok. you know what is dumb? It means you dun have your own belief and you are easily influenced. In the first place, you do not have faith in your own religion that you are easily swayed.

But my dad is different, he said that it is okay to have a bf who has a different religion as long as he yearn for improvement and he is able to feed the family. And that... *touch wood* if my dad pass away, i'd burnt his body and not bury him in some christian's cemetry.

And that got me down thinking...

Sometimes, i think that i treat ppl too nicely that they'd climb on top of my head and shit there.

Oh Pls, dun treat me like some sorta dumbass for you to make use of and then get away by giving me dumb excuses. I'm someone who dunno how to really defend myself, but dun use that as an apportunity to shit on my head. It doesn't gives u the advantage and i'll certainly make sure of that.

If i were to know who are the two third parties, ha, I'll make sure i brutally chop off their heads. Okay.. i won't do that, but at least, i'll give that each a slap. What has the world turned into!? Dun both of you have your own familes? Dumb shitties.

Sometimes.. I just feel like being single for the rest of my life.

Some of my classmates mentioned that it is torturing to marry a woman. blah blah blah. Make-up, kotex, attitudes blah blah blah.

Hello.. as if you guys are so attractive that womans have to come to you and drag you to wedding.

Guys = tiko = too much dignity = brutal = insensitive = too sensitive whatever. I mean... argh.. i'd rather remain single!

I do not have to worry about, *clasp my hands together* "Oh, he is angry at me." "Oh! this.. Oh! that." what the hell.

Eh, females out there.. stop acting like you can't survive without men. Dun be dumb. what. men are only there for you to give birth. What can they give you other than nite pleasure and babies? Nothing else. Stay single and take care of your family. That's what i think, at least. haha!

Sometimes, I think that the experiences that i suffered, makes me think that remaining single is the best choice.

I mean.. I wouldn't know. If there's a guy, good. If there isn't a guy, it's also good. I know.. i shall marry some rich old fellow, wait for him to be at his death bed and cheat him into signing the will to pass all his wealth to me! WAHAHAH!

That's just a joke.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

2:07 PM

Good Day

It's 9.41p.m. and i'm nt slping early again 2day. Just changed the song of this blog. awwww... such a nice song, dun all of ya think so? *clasp my hands 2gether* Just listening to this song lifts my spirit up. I think that Click Five's songs are worth listening to. I mean, they are nice, really. ^^

The summary of this song is... 'HAVE A GOOD DAY no matter how bad your day is!" lalal! Something to cheer up those who constantly come my blog 2 check for updates. haha~

When i told my dad about my UT grade for Marketing which i got only a B+, he quickly replied, 'ask your bro lah. He got A+ mah." with a very satisfied smiling face. Which reminds me that he dun seem satisfied wif my grades last semester though i got 3 As and 1B+. Why can't i ever satisfy my parents? Gosh... I feel that my life is all about satisfying those around me. why is that so? Pretty dumb ya.

There are many questions revolving in my head which i could not get any answers.

My mom kept persuading me to meditate wif her. ARGH! ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH!!!!!!!! It's getting extremely irritating and i really hate it when ppl tries to influence me to do something they like but i dun like! And i mean.. it's okay if she suggest to me abt meditation cos she finds that it is good for health etc, and i appreciate that. But hello... for 2 months, she've been asking me to meditate. and i tried it myself but i detest it becos i can't sit and not move for more than 5 mins, let alone 30 mins, or even 3 hours! And i feel that it is a waste of time cos i'm able to do lotsa stuffs in 30 mins! I can type at least thousands of words! my eye rings will appear lighter if i have 30 mins more of slp rather than sitting there and let flies suck your blood, i'm so not going 2 do that.

i Think that this song in my blog applies 2 me well. hahahah! maybe i shd just concentrate on having a good day rather than let little stuffs get into my way, ya, right?

but then again.. sometimes.. i can't bring myself 2 smile anymore....

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

9:44 PM

The Introduction

Ok, Peeps. Firstly, Congratulations for gaining the title, "Very Important Pig". Trust me, in gaining access to this blog, it is worth it.

I shall post all the wonderful & beautiful things that happened to me and likewise, assholes who go around trying 2 make ppl's lives out there miserable.

Okay, hold on. I didn't insert this song into this blog. I couldn't change the song becos something screwed up the 'iwebmusic' website and now, i can't access it. Therefore, it is this song or nothing. Oh well, it's not that bad.

I can't help feeling like a zombie lately. I've been sleeping late at nights. Yvonne and the rest would go, "WOW! i thought you slp at 7 in the past, miss lau!" ya right. Now, i can't. With school and 9 students for tuition, i certainly have to drink like 3 cups of coffee per day.

I shall blog again when something major happens to me like maybe slipping over a banana skin. cya ard, peeps. ^^

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

10:42 PM

Testing 1 2 3

This is a post, a post for testing.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

9:01 AM