People who love this song, "If ever you're in my arms again", i found a better version. Okay at least that's what i think. It's female and male. They are from Philippines. Their voices are really beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXTWGdpp2xs
"if ever you're in my arms again"...
I feel that this song is full of regrets and guilts?
Though the song is really beautiful, "if" isn't a good thing. We should always live our life to the fullest and no, "IF". There is no rooms of "IF". Because truth is...
IF doesn't exist.
It just gives you fantasies which doesn't exist.
And also, it just gives you an excuse to avoid reality and to push the blame.
It's wrong.
There's no such thing as "If".
If = false hopes + fantasy
What is over is already over and done with. There's no "if".
Imagine someone meet up with a car accident and is in coma... the loved one go, "If only i sent you home.", "If you wake up, I'd be with you."
No, I'm sorry. Things doesn't work this way. There are a lot of "If", but just how many is reality? one out of a million.
It just gives you the perfect excuse to escape the present and leave it to fate.
It's dumb and stupid.
I hate the person who create the word, "if".
It just implants fake thoughts into individuals which is wrong.
Everyone is in control of their own lives. If they want to leave it to fate, they can jolly well stay home to rot. Maybe money will drop from the sky.
I despise people who leave it to fate.
They are people of the worst kinds who are just plain lazy and possess no confidence and coward that they do not want to solve problems themselves but leave it to "fate" or "time".
I know i'm being harsh but i put things the way it is.
And i'll tell you what.. it's the most used excuse to cover up the real reason.
Anyway... Jie messaged me yesterday saying pp's friend passed away in a car accident. The guy and his girlfriend.
What i can say is... life is unpredictable. Who knows. I might be typing this blog entry now but the next minute you know, I'd be in coma in the hospital.
You can say I'd not die so fast because let me think.. from my palm reading, future readings etc etc, I'm predicted to live LONG.
But then again... it depends on individual's karma. yes, a fortune teller told me so.
She said that even though readings can be laid out in front of you... but that doesn't mean that you'd confirm be going this route because your past karma and what you are going to do, will be affecting your readings either in good or bad way.
Anyway... pp's friend funeral's is just situated at the block next to mine.
Such a coincidence.
Sad but people come and go.
And oh yes, there is another saying that I don't agree.
"Cherish whatever you have."
Yes, cherish.
But cherishing is never enough.
Because people are never satisfied. People always think that they can do much better.
When you loved one is lying on death bed, would you go saying, "I think i've done my best for you. Rest in peace."
No.
People will in no matter what situation, say, "I could have done better..."
Effort can never be measured. Effort can never be enough.
Do your best though... but i won't guarantee no regrets.
Because there'd always be regrets and guilts in whatever you do.
Yesterday, met up with Alex and Rachel.
We had to rush through dinner at Pastamania and I bumped into Radz!!
I miss her! Someone is a mother now. *wink*
So we watched "Wall E". It's selling at 5 dollars per ticket for company. It was a cute and funny animation though. Afterwards, i dragged both of them to have desserts with me because i was still hungry. Alex had double shares for dinner so he was quite full. =x alright alright. it's my fault. I couldn't finish. At least the pasta i ordered, it's both of our favourites. So.. at least he was finishing pasta of his favourites. Not so bad eh? hehe! Oops.
Poor Alex twisted his leg this morning and he was limping. Rachel was like making a huge fuss because i wasn't helping him.
I was walking up the stairs with him behind me. Then Rachel was complaining, "Eh, Li Li, 你很好。见死不救。"
I was like, "有你救就好"
Rachel was already helping him and all so i was walking at the front.
Alex went, "I need both..."
I said, "做人不要太贪心。一个人就好了."
Then i put on a big grin on my face.
Then when we were climbing stairs, i ran up the stairs and all.
And i said to him, "Must be independent." =x Okay. I'm being cold-blooded and all. I admit.
We took the train home afterwards. And there was this man who was standing in front of me... e was having an erection after staring at me. My God.
I requested to change place to stand with Alex such that i don't face that desperate man. Rachel alighted at Tiong Bahru. Alex lives in Clementi. So, we were chatting and all. Rachel says she wants to go pub and clubbing. She asked me to accompany her.Ｉwas like, "ok ok. but don't ask me to dance okay. I don't dance."
Oh yes.. and Rachel and her big mouth.. she was so afraid of bumping into her ex in Suntec and seriously... I JUST BUMPED INTO MY EX.
I quickly hide at the side of Alex.
It brings back nightmares
He is one pervertic idiot.
*shivers*
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
9:08 AM
Saturday, August 30, 2008
I need space to breathe
I didn't sleep much two nights ago.. I woke up at 1am when i heard someone kept moaning beside me. Yes, it was my mother.
Her 'Feng shi" was acting up again. She couldn't walk, sit, stand or lie down. I was on the verge of calling the ambulance but she refused. I got SO frustrated. And i didn't dare to sleep in case she needs help. So i was awake the whole night.
The most amazing thing is that dad brought her to Sunshine place (a small shopping centre near our house) to see doctor. WAH LAO!!
Apparently, dear didn't come the next day. So i went lunch with Alex instead because Rachel was also on half day. He was guessing what my favourite colours are. -.-" But surprisingly, he got it all correct. haha!
Anyway, we bought tickets to watch movie today! I mean, not only Alex and I but Rachel as well. The company was selling it at $5 per ticket. *Woot* It'd be at Suntec.
Oh, after that i went to meet Li Jun after work to eat. And i bought bikinis again! =D Can't resist the temptation. I want to go beach soon to sun tan! Drag Fish cage along with me. Haha! I also want to go gym. I want to go run! Fish cage kept asking me to go but then my leg had not recovered. But no fear! It's fully recovered now!! I want to break my record of 4km!
It's going to be a busy week once again.
Meeting Lin tomorrow! Next week, I'd be meeting so many people.
Meeting Ernest (Yes, he's still alive. Goodness. It's been... 4 years?), Ah Seng (ah, my first ride in motorcycle. Shiok. If only i can ride on it again.), Fish cage (This one is standard one) blah blah etc etc.
Oh yeah, my singing lesson. Forgot all about it.
Yesterday's joke of the day...
Me: Eh, auntie, drink faster can. I'm very cold. I wanna get out of here Li Jun: Don't call me auntie leh!! I won't forget when i was 17 years old someone call me auntie. *showed a very pissed off face* Me: HAHAHA! Who who! Li Jun: Aiyah, actually, it's a small kid. He was asking me where is the toilet and he said, "Auntie! Where's the toilet ah." Me: HAHAHA! If i were you, i'd go, "go pee in your pants." Li Jun: NO AH! This is not the only case! That time, a UNCLE CALLED ME AUNTIE! Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!! Li Jun: i just stared at him loh! WAH LAO! i look auntie meh!?
=x
Li Jun sure is cute sometimes.
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
12:02 PM
Hamper Making Video
Found this video clip in my lap top.
The one who asked me if there was any problems was Macy. One of the member in our CCA. The weird voice which says, "lei lei" is Stella. -.-"
Anyway, we were staying back in school to make hampers for Christmas.
You are looking at the leader of production for this whole hamper making thing. *whistle*
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
11:54 AM
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Funny day
Nothing much happened today actually.
Busy working and working. All the engineers love looking for me for some reasons.
It was raining heavily this morning but nevertheless, dear and i went to get hot chocolate! Before that, i went Raffles Medical to pass some check up stuffs.
We had department lunch today. Dear & I were busy laughing and all. She lah! Always do that kinda weird stunts. =x Not me. I'm innocent.
We were at another talk at 4pm as we were suppose to go to children's home and bring them to Escape to play but don't think i'm going to the excursion as I might be going out with my mom on that day. May not have the chance to anymore in future.
So anyway, again.... We were looking at the captain of Sports club talk. (I used to say he looks charming and all.) ANYWAY! Again.. some of the pointers in the presentation damn funny lah. We were listening when i text dear using my hp.
Me: *text* Dear... What if I only dare to play bumpy cars ah? Dear: *giggle and text back* I only dare to play 360 degrees Me: -.-" wah lao! You don't dare to play others but you dare to play 360? Dear: =D
She's definitely weird. I kept making fun of her. I asked her if i can take her as my kid instead. =x because she's a little short. hehe!
No lah. Kidding. Just love irritating her. She's not that short.
Anyway... after work, dear and I went Bugis to eat MOF! Quite nice leh!!
And here's the joke of the day...
I ordered Coke Float, hot stone rice etc.
The coke float came...
I pluck the straw into the drink..
Dear: EH! Dear!! It is sinking it is sinking!!! (She meant the ice cream) Me: de de de den.. de de de de denn.. *sing the Titanic song* Dear: *BURST OUT INTO LAUGHTERS* WHAT THE HELL!!!! Me: You jump i jump.. Oh jack.. Oh rose.. Dear: *Continue laughing*
I began singing in the restaurant as well. =x
I AM BACK!!! THE IRRITATING THICK FACE ME!
The first song that dear's bf played using the guitar is, "Wonderful Tonight."
She damn funny lah.
She sent to me over msn saying, "Eh! Dear! I love this song."
When i received it.. it's "Wonderful Tonight"
*stunned* (Okay. you won't know what i'm stunned about unless you ask me. =p)
So anyway.. i was making fun of her
I began singing out loud in the restaurant.
I sang this part:
"We go to a party and everyone turns to see This beautiful lady that's walking around with me. And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?" And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight.""
I was doing exaggerated actions and all...waving my arms around.
Dear kept laughing and laughing non stop.
Feels like poly days.
I sang so loud and all that everyone was looking at me. HAHAHAH!
But it was damn fun!!! It's really nice to let your hair down once in a while. =D
I think dear wasn't feeling very happy today.. so.. guess I have to be OVERLY cheerful and entertaining today to brighten her up. Think i did a good job the way i saw her laughed.
We ordered so many stuffs that i asked dear, "Eh... my hot stone.. no place to put leh."
We were sitting at a two seats table.
I turned around and asked the waitress to help us change to a four seats table.
When we moved over...
Dear asked...
"So.. dear... where to put your hot stone?"
I realized.. it made no difference.
Oh what the hell...
We had fun anyway. I kept doing the "Titanic"
I told her... "Next time if your bf makes you angry or he is angry at you... Don't get angry.. get even. I teach you... do this.... de de de denn... de de de de de den..." (Began singing titanic song again)
Dear kept laughing and all.
Me: In no time, he'd either laugh with you or he'd be super piss off that he'll walk off. But either way, you win. Nice trick. No point to be angry with him lah. Waste your energy. tsk tsk. Just be happy loh... =D
Dear got enlightened by my words... If she follows my advice.. all will turn out well.
Mom is limping again... sigh...
okay, maybe i shall take her to manicure this saturday.
I'm going to do my hair and go jogging this sunday! Happening!!!
Been a long time since i jogged.
Maybe i should ask fish cage to go gym with me. Can't make up my mind.
But i've no gym outfit... i know...
I'd just wear a tube and shorts. =D Almost the same hor?
My hair is so SHORT!!! But no fear!!
once it is longer, I'll perm it again. But this time, i'll do a special hairstyle.
3 months time. hehe! All of you shall see the new changed Li Li!
That is if you still can see me. =D
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
10:56 PM
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
More Despos
Went out with dad for dinner at Orchard.
Ordered Chicken chop. I was walking down the stalls looking for fruit juice but there ain't any.
Suddenly, those stupid men began to talk to me.
While i was walking down the stalls, one man was sitting on a table and he said, "Hey, 漂亮的小姐。"
I almost wanted to SLAP him in the face. Who does he think i am? Some prostitute walking pass in Geylang?
And a few other men from different stalls kept blocking my path, wanting to talk to me.
What is wrong with that stupid coffee shop?!
dad damn cute.. i made him laughed. =x
Me: Wah lau! pa!!! Those stupid men damn desperate leh! Dad: Why? Me: they talked to me and i don't even know them. felt like slapping them. Stupid asses. Wah lau! Dad: Eh, dun keep "wah lau" leh.. it's a very bad habit. It's equivalent to "fuck" Me: No! Different! you also curse around mah. You kept saying, "Wah nia beh oei" (something like that. it's a language in teochew) But mine is different. We are the LAU FAMILY. Each time something bad happens, I SUMMON THE POWER OF THE LAU! So therefore, i said "wah lau", understand? Dad: *smiled* what kind of logic is that? Me: Lili's logic. Power of the Lau.
And anyway.. is it me.. or is it after that someone left.. all those stupid perverts are coming after me. There was this man stalking me when dear and I were out for a walk
I saw him EVERYWHERE and each time I looked, he'd be staring at the wall or facing the wall. When i walk, he'd start walking as well.
And when i was in the lift, this client of ours was checking me out from head to toe.. all the way from my 16th storey to 1st storey. It's SUPER disturbing and irritating.
Oh! Dear and i were talking about testing of our hearings.
she asked if check up consist of testing of hearings.
I laughed like hell because I told her..
"have have! The doctor will stand next to you and say, "Hello, can you hear me." Then take one step backwards and repeat. Until it comes a point whereby you can't hear the doctor anymore, then the doctor will start measuring the distance."
Dear was like, "-.-" Really... then after that write "partially deaf ah?"
I replied, "That's you. not me."
You should see how both of us expressed ourselves. Damn funny.
And I'm left penniless.
Dear bluff me loh! She said that we'd get our salary by today. *sob*
And i calculated zun zun today'll get money.
Dear: Eh, i forgot to mention. Normally if the salary is on weekends, they'd give earlier. But if the pay day lands on a monday to friday, it's come in later Me: HUH! HAVE SUCH LOGIC MEH Dear: Ya.. Me: tmd.. now then you say.. eh, next time this kinda stuff, can say earlier anot. Dear: Eh? why? Me: I calculated zun zun today no money one leh... I'm going to have to eat grass le. Dear: Grass nutritious Me: -.-" you looking for trouble right. Still dare to say. Dear: =x oops.
My male colleague asked me to go Zouk today because his friends asked him to go.
I was like --> ?????
I asked dear, "Eh, why his friends asked him to go, he come to ask me ah?" Dear: he wants to intro you to his friends mah Me: Not free Dear: Go zouk leh Me: Not romantic one loh... Dear: You want him to romantic with you ah? Me: Oh ya. you are right. No. okay, he shall be ignored. Dear: -.-"
I'm not a romantic person actually... so... erm, you guys out there.. if you want to get romantic with you, you are looking at the wrong person. =D
I'm the kind that if you say my eyes sparkles, i'd tell you it's the fluorescent lights.
It was raining heavily today. Lucky dear brought umbrella with her. But sad to say....
she hold umbrella.. a little no skill.. =x still need me to guide her.
my dress was thin so i was shivering and all.
Oh well... one of these days. *shrug*
Going to do my stuffs now.
take care ppl!
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
9:53 PM
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Bruised arm
Can hardly type... arm in pain...
I've no idea 8 meals of blood will cause such pain... I wonder how those people who donate blood does it but it sure cost me not only my money but a bruise on my arm as well.
The nurse was having difficulty finding my vein.
It came to a point whereby she asked..
"Eh... normally which arm the nurse will poke ah?"
I went.. "Erm.. i don't know leh... my blood was drawn only once."
And the nurse spent 10 minutes finding my vein.
I told her, "it's okay. You can just go ahead and poke."
She said, "I don't want to poke you more than once, you see."
I told her, "it's okay. the first time my blood was drawn, the nurse poked me four times."
She gave me an astonished look. It's true. Twice on both arms each.
Anyway, she poked my left arm and i was like.. 'AT LAST!!"
She actually wriggled the needle about inside me trying to get my vein.
She said, "Your vein is so thin.. tsk."
After drawing out my blood halfway.. suddenly... it's stopped.
She was like drawing the needle in and out of the same hole.. It was not painful but the skin does hurt a little.
She said, "I need 3 more meals lah..."
I asked her, "How much you've drawn?"
She said, "8 meals."
*faint*
That's equivalent to my 3 days meals.
I was seriously underweight... my weight dropped from 40 to 35 within months.
I wonder if there's such things as blood worm which is drinking my blood. Okay. It's disgusting.
next, went to see the medical officer.
The doctor damn funny lah...
Doc: Are you pregnant before? Me: No. Doc: 你有没有洗。。。 (pointed to below) Me: have have! Doc: HUH! *astonished* Me: Eh? what? Doc: 洗掉孩子leh! Me: NO NO!!! Doc: You damn cute leh!! Me: -.-"
The doc asked me if my family have any medical history and all.. and i spoke about my spine injury..
Me: I hurt my spine i think. At times, it'd get swollen and all Doc: How you injured it? Me: I was at the interchange and i was sitting on the railings. Then i jumped down when the bus came and i slipped. Hit my back against the railing Doc: *writing down* jump down from railing... hit back on railing.. Me: *stunned* huh? you write like that ah? Doc: ya lah... layman terms mah. Me: -.-""
After hearing from me, doc actually recommended me to go to spine specialist as well as weight specialist because i'm pretty unusual.
And the doc also suggested to switch package to a better one which includes x-ray and check whether if there's problem with my liver due to my right shoulder would get swollen especially recently and all...
I hope that if i die, i die peacefully and not like.. bedridden for 40 years.
If that's the case, dear readers, do my a favour and pull the plug, thanks.
kidding.
Oh yes... i got dragged to watch R21 movie today. tmd.
Me and my suay mouth, went to promise fish cage to watch with him.
It's SUPER BLOODY and all..
You should see the way i cover up my eyes for 3/4 of the show. (1/4 was the conversations and people walking about)
the show is called: Pathology
DON'T WATCH.
It's about this disturbing bunch of pathologist whose jobs is to open up dead people and all to check cause of death etc.
But this crazy bunch of pathologist go to kill people and it's like a game to them. One will kill and the rest will guess how he/she kills the person. Not only that, they get sexually excited after cutting up the dead person and all.. they'd show that they have sex in front of the corpse. (I covered my eyes as well so... don't ask me how they did it.)
The very upset thing is... this main character named Ted has a fiancee. Ted's new job was at another part of the country. He was into this "game" and after that... he had sex with one of the pathologist. tmd. i felt like slapping him.
The fiancee is SO gorgeous and SUPER NICE.. and trust him a lot as well.
When Ted went back to find his fiancee during Christmas, she said she'd go with him back to his job place to accompany him.
At last you know what happened...
She got killed by one of the pathologist.
that's why i say..
Nice women are victims.
Lucky i wasn't the one paying for the tickets.
I wanted to watch MEET DAVE loh!!!
Drag me to watch this kinda no taste disgusting movie!
I wanted to say forget about it but i already promised him..
me and my stupid mouth.. i better keep it shut from now on.
Meet dave meet dave meet dave..
SOMEONE!! Watch MEET DAVE with me!!! *sob sob*
OH! I went "times" today and i saw a few VERY good books.
1. The case of imaginary detective 2. What's your excuse for bad behaviour 3. Books by Melissa Nathan (She has really many books that are really interesting.)
I'll marry anyone who'll get me one of the books!!!
I don't have enough money to buy... =(
*sob sob*
Okay, wait. I'd not marry... it's a little too much.
I'll get ENGAGE to anyone who buys the above books for me!!!
=x
Aw man... my arm is still bruised... and it's painful whenever i try doing something.. even lifting my arm. What the hell.
Oh yes, i went to an optical shop the other day..
And there were three guys and one woman.
Bought contact lenses and all.
The next day when i went out with Lin, i received a message from an anonymous guy.
Him: Hi, how was your day? Me: Who is this? Him: Erm.. the guy from the optical shop. Are you able to wear your contact lenses already? Me: yes. thanks. Him: so... are you studying or working now? Do you know which guy am i? There were so many guys in the shop. Me: Doesn't matter.
how can he use personal particulars to CONTACT ME!!!
and he even knows where i stay lah!!!
scary.
Like i said..
men are desperates by nature. At least.. majority of them are.
Busy week ahead.
Going to pack my stuffs and all.
I wish i can do a garage sale (room sale actually).
I've so many things i need to sell!!
I don't think the children homes or anybody else wants murder books right.
And my god...
I'd want to cry each time i see this piano book which cost me $80.
I bought it because of a song inside.
ANYWAY... doesn't matter.
Fish cage: Eh, why so quiet Me: no lah.. tired Fish cage: Don't bluff. Me: Tired lah... eyes dry.. Fish Cage: thinking about somebody right... Me: no time. Fish Cage: Hai.. forever 嘴硬心软。 Me: Don't have lah. wah lao.. don't anyhow say okay. I keep quiet doesn't mean i'm thinking Fish cage: Really... that time i asked you if you are thinking about that someone and you said no when we ate claypot. After that then you messaged me saying you did miss that person. Me: It's only that moment at the claypot. Don't think too much. It's only natural. It was over in 5 minutes. Fish Cage: *pat pat* it's okay Me: -.-" TSK!!!! *pek chek*
Oh yes..
I almost died this morning.
We were going to cross the road from Raffles Hospital to Bugis..
We were at the traffic light..
The next second Fish cage knew.. i was walking out to the road while it's the red man.
He immediately stepped out and grabbed me back.
Fish Cage: You trying to kill yourself ah?! Me: EH! What?! Fish Cage: Red light leh! Me: EH!!! I saw that it was green leh!!! Fish cage: -.-"
no no, serious!!! i saw that it was green! And i was practically half way across the road.
Fish cage: 差一点 loh! If i didn't grab you, you were going to die of accident leh! The cars and lorries all heading towards you! Me: No lah, i won't die so easily one. but i really saw that it was green leh.
weird...
I seriously saw that it was green.
If fish cage wasn't there to grab me, I'd have died.
Scary.
Okay. Going to pack my stuffs.
tata everyone!!
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
10:14 PM
Monday, August 25, 2008
Lin Lin and Li Li
Went out with Lilin on Sunday. My God. -.-" If it wasn't for the stupid dumb weather, the whole outing would be great!
Both Lin and I were so tired of walking at the end of the day if only we don't have to go through underpasses like for three times.
Lin bought a guy's wallet. Miracle. I think she's going to get married first than me. Definitely.
SHE ACTUALLY BOUGHT A GUY'S WALLET.
I mean, everyone who knows me would imagine that she accompany me to buy a man's wallet. But it was another way round and i was standing there looking at... ties... long sleeved shirts...
She almost bought a female's wallet for that guy.
Damn expensive lah that wallet.
OH!!! I saw a wallet i really love! But it cost like 100 plus. Sian... But it's really gorgeous!
It's a Taka where they sell lots of branded bags and all. And there's this white wallet. Oh my God.
I'd marry anyone who'd buy it for me. Gosh!!!
Okay, i take that back. I'm worth more than a hundred dollar.
We ate Sakae Sushi for lunch and we were chatting happily. (Though once in a while, we'd look out and our face would turn sian because of the weather)
Then we went to shop around. Oh yes, i saw my cousin.
Cousin: EH! LiLi!!!! Me: Eh? OHHH!!! where are you going? Cousin: walk around loh. Me: Fei hua... -.-" Eh, have time to go out with friend, don't have time for me hor. Cousin: -.-" *sian* er.. eh! You also what! (Normal guys self defence)
His friend was like, "Eh! Your cousin looks a little like you!"
I think he meant we are both thin.
Oh yes, while Lin and I were walking...
Me: Eh Lilin, there's this guy who were looking at us and the gf was like staring at him and all.... ke lian sia the girl. Lin: Eh, looking at you lah... Me: No lah! -.-" Looking at you, can. Lin: You don't purposely push the karma to me. I don't want it, thanks. Me: karma or no karma, he's looking at you. Lin: maybe he was just looking leh. I mean, we were in front of him mah. Me: Yes, but his eyes were following us when we walked pass. and the girl was damn fierce, staring at him. tsk. Lin: still... he was looking at you.. it's your karma. Me: I had it, thanks. you can have it.
And lin was laughing like nobodies business when i imitate those rude custome service china women whom i mentioned in my earlier posts.
She says the way i express myself damn funny...
But i was just damn pissed thinking back about it.
We went into another shop at Heeren. It's a hair clips and accessories shop.
I bought two earrings and lots of hair ties. =D
Couldn't resist myself.
And I was forced to get out of the shop because of the songs the shop was playing.
Brings back memories..
ANYWAY... okay, we went to CHAOS, my FAVOURITE SHOP!
I resisted the temptation of buying because i was in a tight budget. but i saw lots of nice clothes!!!
I hope i'm able to marry the CHAOS director or something. Then i can have nice clothes from CHAOS everyday. ^_^
kidding.
I bought nail polish and eye shadow as well.
I'm a woman and that's a sufficient reason to pamper myself.
It's my check up tomorrow.
*shiver*
They are going to take out like 5 meals of blood from me. (I know because i asked during my secondary school days. I almost fainted after they drawn blood from me. What to do.. i don't have enough blood)
I'm afraid... what if.....
the result shows...
I'm not my parent's child?
*face express horror with jaws hanging open*
drama queen. tsk tsk
I went to eat in a very nice shop at clarke quay the other time.
We ate claypot... (me and fish cage)
And somehow... a sudden surge of feelings burst out from inside me..
suddenly... begin to miss you...
it's really different eating claypot with someone you love.
But then again.. maybe it's because you broke the shop owner's claypot and i was forced to run away from the shop right after our dinner. yeah. memorable.
Starting from now, i'm not suppose to eat anything. But i'm hungry...
Australia uncle is coming back as well.
I shall name them, London uncle and Australia uncle.
He's staying at my aunt's place. I miss my aunt... i'm going to stay overnight there soon before i don't get a chance to anymore.
Went to volunteer for SAMH (Singapore Association for Mental Health)
Right shoulder was swollen again and the coin tin was just darn heavy.
Initially, it was raining in the morning. I was hesitating whether should i go because half of my body was aching. But in the end, i just went for it.
The doris jie jie damn zi dong... she just put her water bottle in my bag and still asked me to take umbrella. -.-" kanna bully.. tsk tsk... bo bian... i'm younger than her.
ANYWAY!...i was standing there and this uncle came to talk to me while doris walked away.
Uncle: Is that your teacher? Me: Huh? no ah. My friend. Uncle: Huh? Friend? But age gap is so big! She looks 30+ Me: NO LAH! Wah lao. -.-" Uncle: You are very slim leh. Look young. Me: I am young. I am only 21. Uncle: *Smiled at me*
And then there's this man who came to give me bananas. I was saying "No, thanks." but he just pushed it to me. "Take take!" he was saying.
It was tiring and i'd seen lots of really nice people aand some really spastic individuals.
The really nice people includes people who auto donate.
There is one old man, he was walking very slowly towards me and he donated all his 5 cents and all.
Nevertheless, i was really touched by his actions that i said, "Thank you thank you! You are really very nice." then flashed him one of my winning smile.
The old man smiled and say,"Don't mention it. you are doing it for a good cause. I know the amount i donated is nothing much anyway."
And i said, "no no! It really means alot. Really thank you!!"
He smiled again and walked away.
Really nice!!!
I saw really really nice old men.
But it's the youngsters who are stingies... not to forget, some of the foreigners.
I realized that recently, i'd learnt to stand up for myself.
I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing but doris was shocked by it so was kaixin.
There was a time i was standing in the train and there was this school girl standing in front of me. She kept using her big bag and pushing it against me. I ignored it. At most pushed it away.
It came to a point, she STEPPED on my foot, she looked down and looked back to her friends.
then, NEVER MIND. she still came to pushed me. And she KNOW it. I don't care if it is accidental or what but you should apologise.
I got so fed up that i exclaimed in the train.
The moment she pushed me, i went, "WAH LAO!!"
Everyone looked at me but i couldn't be bothered. I WAS SO DAMN PEK CHEK!!!
You push me, step on me, leaned your bloody bag on me and YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO APOLOGISE.
And her stupid bunch of friends was playing with the train doors. Sticking their arms out when the door was about to close.
Some freaking secondary school people are just one bloody bunch of spastic idiots.
Sorry. I know i'm darn vulgar today but i can't STAND it.
And there was this time, i was at jollibean in Tanjong Pagar... this dumb china woman who works there... tmd.. i felt like slapping her.
I was saying, "Chewy p please."
And she just without acknowledging me, went to prepare the drink. Then i saw her pouring cold soya bean milk inside the cup. I was like, "I want warm one! Sorry!"
Den she stared at me, "can't you say earlier. Now then you say?!"
Initially, i was so dumb as to apologise and all. Then when i walked away.. i looked at kaixin.
"Eh, wait. Why i apologise. I'm the customer leh. She DARE TO BLAME ME ah?! DID she ask?!"
Kaixin laughed, "You very ci dun leh."
-.-"
NEVER MIND.
Yesterday, i was buying bubble tea for brother and I. Another stupid china woman.
I felt like pouring the whole pearl contents into her foul mouth.
I stay in choa chu kang and we have "sweet talk" nearby. There's this jelly contents and you can choose flavours. I didn't know if they have it in plaza so i asked them, "Erm, do you have jellys?"
Stupid china foul mouth woman: Cannot see ah? *point to the right* Me: Orh.. *took a look* Erm, you have grape? Foul mouth: have. *poured grape syrup into cup.* what else you wanna combine with? Me: EH! That's not what i meant. Foul mouth: THEN WHAT U MEAN?! Me: I asked for grape jelly leh! Foul Mouth: You don't know how to see ah? Don't have grape you can't see?! Tell me what COLOR JELLY YOU WANT LAH. easier. Me: White. lychee. Red tea.
*took and left*
TMD. SHE THINKS I CAN'T READ AH?!
How i know if she went to stuff all the grape jelly in her stupid foul mouth?!
I REALLY HATE SOME CHINA STUPID BLOODY WOMEN.
I did not rebut to her because i don't wanna bark like a dog like she sounded.
I won't waste my saliva on uncivilised people who go around barking.
I even said thanks and walked away.
She should thank god she exclaimed like that to me.
If she do it to my parents, i'm going to give her one hell of a scolding and write a complaint letter on the spot and make sure she find NO CUSTOMER SERVICE JOBS EVER IN HER life.
grrrr...
heating up just thinking about her.
Anyway, i got one of my short-term goal. =D
each small steps, although small but still a step towards success.
I'm going out with lilin today. Been one year since i last saw her. we are going to have FUN! =D
Here's a couple of pictures i took with my mom
Alright. Going to read books.
tata people!
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
9:36 AM
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Desperates
What's wrong with the men in Singapore? Geylang isn't enough to accommodate all of you?
Okay, wait. I should not be making such a sweeping statement.
What's wrong with 70% population of men in Singapore?!
Can you STOP asking me about my sex life?!
Whether i am a virgin a not, is it any of your business or concern? I have no interest in sharing my life or as a matter of fact, sex life, with any of you desperates. And whether i agree to two-timing or whatsoever, it has nothing to do with you.
And i freaking don't want to be your sex partner or one night stand.
And STOP calling me hottie/sexy/gorgeous blah blah, stop making me sound like i work in Geylang. (In any case if I become a prostitute, i'd not have my clients in Geylang.)
I don't want to have any sex talks with you and have no interest or enthusiasm in telling you about my figure.
WHAT'S WRONG with these people?!
Why all of a sudden, so many weird people are coming to look for me?!
I AM UNAVAILABLE and i REALLY mean it.
FOREVER and EVER UNAVAILABLE.
So, please get the hint and GET LOST.
I don't care if your dad owns 100 jewelery shop or you graduated from Harvard school or you owns a sports car or you can buy flowers for me everyday...
It all leads to one thing.
GET LOST.
I am NOT interested and never will be. Get it?
So please don't start something with me that will end up in disappointment.
I no longer have any feeling or emotions or whatsoever.
And please don't give me that, "feelings can be developed."
tmd. you think what? Develop films ah?
Let me show you the conversation
If you want to receive cold treatment from me, then okay, feel free to approach me.
I'll see how NICE you are and how long you can tolerate me.
I'll make sure I'll bombard you with words that you'd NEVER dare to stutter a word to me EVER again.
HA!
THE END.
Oh yes, let me show you the conversation between me and one of the many perverts:
8/20/2008
11:46:43 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
by the way, are u open minded gal to chat mah?
8/20/2008
11:47:30 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
okok. y?
8/20/2008
11:47:37 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
ok... do u go for looks to be your bf?
8/20/2008
11:47:46 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
yes i do..
8/20/2008
11:47:59 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
then do u agree 2 timer in relationship?
8/20/2008
11:48:22 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
u asked me second time le leh
8/20/2008
11:48:28 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
no. don't agree.
8/20/2008
11:48:45 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
i gt ask u this b4 meh?
8/20/2008
11:49:13 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
do u agree sex in relationship?
8/20/2008
11:49:28 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
you are starting to sound like you are interviewingme
8/20/2008
11:49:36 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
huh
8/20/2008
11:49:38 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
no la
8/20/2008
11:49:46 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
not interviewing u la
8/20/2008
11:49:51 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
u mind ans me is it?
8/20/2008
11:50:23 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
why are you asking me these questions?
8/20/2008
11:50:35 PM
xxx@hotmail
Miss Numb
hope u understand
8/20/2008
11:50:49 PM
xxx@hotmail.com
Miss Numb
i am not pervert, u ans me le then i tell u why i ask u this quest
8/20/2008
11:50:51 PM
xxx@hotmail.com
Miss Numb
fair?
8/20/2008
11:51:09 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
erm, i dun understand the logic behind this
8/20/2008
11:51:24 PM
xxx@hotmail.com
Miss Numb
that y i cannot tell u untill u tell me your ans
8/20/2008
11:51:34 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
why not you tell me why first den i ans you
8/20/2008
11:51:40 PM
xxx@hotmail.com
Miss Numb
ok
8/20/2008
11:51:49 PM
xxx@hotmail.com
Miss Numb
i am not vrgin,,, how abt u?
8/20/2008
11:52:02 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
ok. so what does that gotta do wif anything
8/20/2008
11:52:14 PM
xxx@hotmail.com
Miss Numb
u haven't ans me
8/20/2008
11:52:15 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
that does explains why u are asking me the question
8/20/2008
11:52:26 PM
Miss Numb
xxx@hotmail.com
*not
8/20/2008
11:52:38 PM
xxx@hotmail.com
Miss Numb
so u lost to this bf ar?
Freaking desperate lah!
Not only he is desperate, his English cannot make it. He don't even understand that i want an explanation and i AM NOT interested in knowing whether is he a virgin, my god.
Okay, let's not talk about it anymore.
It's giving the creeps.
I'm seriously going to re-dye my hair. I hate the way people say i look like ah lian. I AM NOT.
I'm going to get contact lenses soon! *woot*
Excited!
Uncle is coming back from London.
hmm...
Change topic.
Fish cage and I were at Clarke quay earlier on and he was like calculating how many guys like me currently.
Me: Eh.. out of all of them, none qualified lah, please. Fish Cage: Okay, wait. First one. How? Have chance? Me: No. Christian. Fish Cage: Okay. Next. Chance? Me: No. No feelings. Fish Cage: okay. Next. Chance? Me: He asked me about my sex life.... (haven't finish saying) Fish cage: OUT!!! Me: *stunned* wah, why reaction so big sia. Fish cage: Pervert of cos out lah! Me: -.-"
You should have seen his reaction, damn funny.
Oh yes, do all of you know that no matter how many bf/gf you have, it'd always have your ex's shadows?
Because your current gf/bf is based on your expectation from the previous ones.
Okay, so anyway, today in office, all of them were commenting about me for some reason.
Me: Eh! Cecilia! My hair nice anot? Cecilia: Hmm.. ah lian loh. Me: sigh... eh.. ya hor. what was i going to tell you ah Cecilia: *panick* Huh? I did something wrong ah? Me: no lah. OH YA! Eh! can see my highlights anot? Cecilia: Don't have ah. Nothing. Me: *pouts and turned to Li Ting* Eh, can see my highlights? Li Ting: Don't have ah. Me: Huh.. have lah. see properly. Li Ting: REALLY don't have. one small strand also don't have. Me: -.-" Li Ting: Don't believe you go to ask cat. Me: *walk to cat* cat.... can see my highlights? Cat: Have have! Me: *excited* REALLY?! Cat: ya! WHOLE HEAD highlight loh! Me: -.-" Cat: Can't see lah... Me: *curse and swear*
Then jean came over.
Cat: Eh, lili, do you wear shorts when you wear short skirts anot? Me: have lah. some of the dresses. jean: Don't have lah! She don't wear one. Me: -.-" how you know? *everyone turned to her* Cat: ya, how you know. you see before meh? Jean: no! That time i asked her and she pulled her dress up half way den pull down le. She say it's panties leh.. Me: EH NO LAH! It's shorts lah!!! Dun yuan wang me leh!
Yup, just like that, i became the hot topic of the day. Jean said she was stress and she came over to de-stress by making fun of me. sad.
Eh! Can you people msg me more often? my hp is so darn quiet except messages from those perverts.
I'm going to sleep. tata, everyone. ^_^
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
11:15 PM
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Goals
Short Term Goals (From now)
1.Dote and pay more attention to my family 2. Bring mama to manicure and pedicure after i get my pay. 3. Bring family out for picnic and cycling 4. Compose 4 more songs 5. Improve on my singing 6. Be a better listener for my friends 7. Read 20 self-improvement books & act on it 8. Get a car license 9. Get the Titus watch 10. Have a better hairstyle 11. Study, study and more study 12. Work, work and work 13. Main priorities in life = Study, work and friends 14. Learn Japanese language 15. Take up modeling classes 16. Buy more matured clothes 17. I want to own more than just 1 heels, 1 shoe and 1 slippers 18. Buy more books and start on my little library 19. Paint the house 20. Change the curtains 21. Clean up my room 22. Take a short vacation in a resort 23. I want to suntan! 24. A new and better phone 25. Get myself a manicure and pedicure 26. Get contact lenses
Long Term Goals (6-7 years time)
1. Be a successful Marketer / Psychologist 2. Own a car (A good car) 3. Have a happy family 4. Dote on my family and friends 5. Go on vacation for at least once a year 6. A comfortable and cozy home
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
10:40 PM
The Lau Family
*took off shoes upon reaching home*
Me: Pa! *daddy took a look at me and turned attention to tv* Me: *pouts* PA!! *daddy looked again and nod his head* Me: PA PA PA PA PA PA!!! Daddy: Oei! (in acknowledgment ) wah lao, need to call so many times meh Me: No mah.. you didn't answer. Next time must answer okay! Daddy: -.-"
*Next Scene*
*mom ironing clothes* Mom: WAH LAO! Why my red shirt kanna other color! Me: *giggle* orbi *continue to eat dinner* Mom: Must be your papa. Wah lao... Me: *continue to giggle and make funny noises* Mom: *took the shirt to toilet* Me: Don't even think about washing it off. use as rag leh. my piano needs rag. Mom: MUST be you! If not why'd you giggle until like that. Me: EH! WHAT! you don't anyhow yuan wang me okay! Anyway.... Mom: what? Me: ORBI! Mom: -.-"
*she continues to iron the clothes*
Me: *danced around* lalalala~ "i don't believe in anything but in you.. i do..." *do a spin* Mom: You very happy huh. Very free is it. Me: Not really.. can't you see i'm busy disturbing you? Mom: so free to disturb, come to iron lah. Me: Don't want. Mom: why? Me: Then you'd be free to do meditation. So i rather i be free. =D Mom: -.-" Me: *Continue to dance* Btw, I'm sleeping early. DON'T disturb me. Mom: Since when i disturb you. Me: STOP closing the door so loudly. And DON'T wake up to hit mosquitoes. Mom: -.-"
*Next scene*
Dad, Mom and I having dinner.. after which, mom went to wash her bowl in the kitchen.
Me: Eh, pa.. psst... *whisper* the fish a bit salty hor? daddy: NOW then you know! That's why i say.. it makes no difference whatever fish she cook. Because, it'd eventually be SALTED FISH. Me: -.-" *eat in silence*
But i tell you, nothing beats home cooked food. =D
*Next Scene*
*Reached home and took off shoes*
Mom: Li ah! Did you calll Raffles for the check up? Me: yes. Mom: then? Me: I don't even wanna say you ah... you give me EMERGENCY NUMBER for what?! Mom: Eh! where got! I gave you service number leh! Me: you trying to curse me to stay in hospital ah? Mom: no leh!!! I really give you service hotline leh... Me: -.-" I hope i didn't kill anyone today for taking up 1 minute of the operator's time.
End of Story.
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
10:24 PM
Monday, August 18, 2008
Leaving On A Jet Plane - Jewel
All my bags are packed Im ready to go Im standin here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye But the dawn is breakin Its early morn The taxis waitin Hes blowin his horn Already Im so lonesome I could die
So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that youll wait for me Hold me like youll never let me go cause Im leavin on a jet plane Dont know when Ill be back again Oh babe, I hate to go
Theres so many times Ive let you down So many times Ive played around I tell you now, they dont mean a thing Evry place I go, Ill think of you Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that youll wait for me Hold me like youll never let me go cause Im leavin on a jet plane Dont know when Ill be back again Oh babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you One more time Let me kiss you Then close your eyes Ill be on my way Dream about the days to come When I wont have to leave alone About the times, I wont have to say
Oh, kiss me and smile for me Tell me that youll wait for me Hold me like youll never let me go cause Im leavin on a jet plane Dont know when Ill be back again Oh babe, I hate to go
But, Im leavin on a jet plane Dont know when Ill be back again Oh babe, I hate to go
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
12:20 AM
Friday, August 15, 2008
Mom went for Taichi competition today... and friday is the day that all my aunts will come my house for Taichi at my area.
One of my aunt, darn cute...
Aunt A: Eh, where's mama? Me: Went for competition Aunt A: huh? Where? Me: i don't know leh...
*continued to watch olympics on TV in silence*
Aunt A: eh eh.. she went to Olympics Taichi ah? Me: -.-""" Aunt... my mom will be back tonight... she won't be in beijing
There's olympics taichi meh?!
HAHAHAHAHA!!
Aunt B arrived and saw me using the computer.
Aunt B: EH! Miracle leh! You are at home! Me: I'm sick.. having headache Aunt B: Really? *touches my forehead* EH! You have fever leh! Me: Huh? no lah. you cold is it Aunt B: No! Really! You've fever. You've thermometer at home? Aunt help you to take your temperature Me: Erm.. don't have. Spoiled le. Aunt B: Taken your medicine? Eat panadol. Me: Don't want. Don't like panadol. Aunt B: -.-" You eaten already? Eh! you getting VERY SKINNY leh! you sick or something? Me: No lah! I've always been like that. Aunt B: No! This time much skinnier than before! AIYOH!!!
-.-" really?
Skinny meh?
Anyway, my mom got GOLD MEDAL for the competition!!!!
I told dad:
Me: EH! Mom got GOLD LEH!!! dad: Then? Can eat anot? Me: cannot but it's an ACHIEVEMENT. You should be proud of your wife. Dad: aiyah.. see her old liao.. so just give her Gold loh... Me: -.-" Eh, why you like that say your wife. must be supportive.
But my dad is kidding lah. Both my mom and dad are darn cute one. =D
Very nice to bully. especially by an irritating fellow like me.
Oh ya. And I was watching channel 8 when my aunt A came with her husband.
Me: *burst out laughing* Aunt A: ???? Me: DAMN FUNNY LAH THE WAY the girl talk! Why the voice kanna dubbed till like that!
NO SERIOUS! You should watch! VERY FUNNY LAH her voice!
Okay. I'm going to do reading.
Fish cage was complaining why didn't i update my blog. So i've updated 2 entries today.
I was saying, "I've no happy stuffs to udpate leh."
He say, "Going out with me not happy is it?"
Me: -.-" *bwg*
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
9:44 PM
Fate?
I'm so sick of people telling me fate this fate that.
If something good happens, they say it's their own achievements. When something bad happens, they blame it on fate. tmd. Don't be such an ass can.
Fate is within your own hands. You are able to change your own fate. Life is yours. You make the choices. At the end of the day, blame it on your stupid mistake, not fate.
And to someone (ahem, pls, zhi dong yi dian. yes, i'm saying you.. the one who is thinking, "Eh? saying me ah?"), PLEASE do something about your situation.
Like i said, make your decision well and go for it.
DO NOT MAKE A DECISION BASE ON OTHER PEOPLE ADVICES OR DECISIONS.
At the end of the day, you are the one who is going to die alone, no one is going to, "oh! I made the decision for you, pls let me die with you."
You are the one who is going to suffer the consequences. To the person, it may be just a one minute advice, but YOU are the who is going to stick to it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.
And what happens if you made the wrong decision?
The worst is not that you realized you made the wrong decision.
The WORST IS that you realized you were only in this state because YOU LISTENED to other people's decision.
People would say, "One life, live it.", "You only live once, live to the fullest."
yeah yeah. And for this one life, you are going to LIVE A LIFE OF OTHERS because you are CRAFTING your own journey IN ACCORDANCE to THE WAY they would craft it if they WERE you.
So in the end, your life is in a huge mess because it consist of EVERYONE'S LIFE.
Then what are you going to say?
"It's fated."
PLEASE LAH!
Fate your head! if it's so fated. Fine! Go to fortune teller and see what he says. If he says you'll live a long life and all. GOOD. I don't believe if you go now to stand in the middle of the road and you won't die of car accident.
What the fortune teller is predicting is base on your CURRENT situation. If not, why people would wanna go fortune telling to scare yourself. It's because people wanna avoid whatever the fortune teller said which they find it unpleasant!
Just like, if you go to the temple to pick lots.. why is it that people would do it for like once a month and all asking about the same question? That is because FATE changes each time you choose a different path.
Seriously, i dun get those people who believe that everything is just fated and just go with the flow... or just i don't know.. let me think... I DON'T GET IT.
So if the person says you are going to be rich in future, you can just sit still there and not do anything at home loh... den wait for yourself to strike lottery.
Fate is not STAGNANT. alamak.
And pls.. that someone... DO SOMETHING... don't leave people hanging there...
Like i said...
Okay, i'll think of a good example.
You know those books when you read when you were young?
Those like... when you come to page 65, at the end of the page, it'd reads, "If you would like to enter the door, turn to page 55, if you decide to back off, turn to page 28."?
Imagine you are reading it with your friend/mother/father (whoever)
you are the one turning the page.
So when you flipped to 65, you wanted to choose 55. But the one reading with you said, "EH! Please lah! Don't be dumb can. Go in the door confirm die one!" Then you struggled on to say, "No leh! Adventurous abit lah! I feel that 55 is the one." The other one said, "Turn to page 28 lah!"
Then you flipped to 28...
And the page reads:
"You decided not to go into the door and back out the game. As you turned around, the green slimy monster slipped up behind you and gobble you up. Behind the door, is the escape to paradise and out of your nightmare. Oops. Wrong choice! Next time, stop being such a coward and FACE IT!" (Goosebumps do write this kind of stuffs. Trust me.)
So, you died in the book.
Who are you going to blame?
Are you going to turn to your partner and say, "EH! Tmd! I wanted to choose 55 and u force me to turn to 28! See lah! Die le leh!"
Is your partner going to say, "Oops! Sorry!"
NO.
Your partner is going to say, "you are the one holding the book leh! Since when i force you! You yourself want to listen and now you blame me ah."
Imagine reading to the end of this book and flipping the pages is part of YOUR FINAL YEAR EXAM. (Not possible but just imagine)
Is your friend going to take the results or you?
You get what i mean anot?
it's YOUR choices.
it's YOUR decision
It's YOUR life.
Stop living in other people's expectation. I know. I do. i live ALOT in other people's expectation. And trust me, it's tiring. It's tires me physically and mentally. I've to do things that i don't want to do but because it's a "responsibility" or I FELT it's a "responsibility" so i did it.
BUT!!!!
I read this in a self improvement book. Let me take it out and quote it to you from "The Nice Girl Syndrome." (It's applicable to everyone actually.):
Reasons to give up being TOO nice:
1. People don't respect Nice girls (people)
2. If you don't tell others what makes you angry, upset, unhappy or disappointed, there is little chance of fixing the problem.
3. people don't really know you unless you tell them how you really feel.
4. If you don't tell people how you honestly feel, you rae being dishonest.
5. Unless you are honest about who you are and how you feel, there is little chance of you experiencing true initimacy in your relationships.
FURTHERMORE:
Another reason for giving up being nice act is that nice aren't always nice. in fact, they can often be conniving and mean. They often complain about people behind their backs because they are too afraid to confront them to their faces. They can be passive-aggressive - meaning that even though they may be angry at someone, they smile and pretend everything is okay and then do something underhanded to get back at the person.
AND MORE (This one is good)
FALSE BELIEF 1: Other people's feelings and needs are FAR MORE IMPORTANT than my own.
- You may think that every human being is taught to put others' feelings and needs first when he or she is young, because adults wish to teach all children to be kind, considerate, and generous, but this simply isn't true. Girls (Applicable to guys as well), are repeatedly taught that they should put the needs of others before their own and that they are SELFISH if they think of their own needs first.
AS YOU CAN SEE, IT IS A FALSE BELIEF.
They gave a very good example:
- If you have a STRONGER tendency of placing other people's needs ahead of your own, it may be that you were TAUGHT to be self sacrificing by your parents- either because they gave you this overt message or because you witnessed one parent (probably your mother) sacrificing herself for her husband and children.
- You've heard it before: if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others. Even the airlines know this. That's why they instruct you to put on your own exygen mask before putting on your child's.
remember this:
False belief: Other people's feelings and needs are more important than my own
Empowering belief: my feelings and needs are JUST AS IMPORTANT as anyone else's.
We are just humans. Everyone is human.
You can act all nice and all, listening to people's advices and following them, doing this and that as per people's expectation...
But there'll come a day SOMETHING/SOMEONE will enter your life and you'll rebel everything that you'd been doing.
Because... no one can be superhero for long.
Everyone have needs. Everyone wants to live their own life. Everyone wants to walk their own path. Craft their own journey. Go their way.
But why?
Why people tend to follow other people's advices, commands, expectations? especially parents'?
Because we feel indebted to them. We feel it is our responsibility to be filial.
And quoted from that someone: (And i can't believe that person actually gave me this explanation.)
The person: I want to be a good child. I feel indebted to them.
Me: What's your defination of "Good"?
The person: Obeying everything they say, come home early blah blah (I forgot the rest cos the moment i read the first part.. i just --> -.-")
OBEYING EVERYTHING THEY SAY.
At that moment, if the person is with me, i'd have pour cold water on that person.
PEOPLE! All of you have to accept that YES, we are gave birth by your mother.. our parents were the one who took care of us and all.. YES!!!
BUT!!!
Parent's role in life is to GUIDE their children through their journey.
parent's role in life does not consist of COMMANDING and CONTROLLING (Unless you are telling me you are less than 16 in age) COMMANDING AND CONTROLLING is for the MILITARY!
And even in military, my godbro says, "tmd.. feel like dog. ask me to do push up then have to do push up. Ask me to run then i have to run."
In the military, it is different because the people there have to LEARN how to listen and obey INSTRUCTIONS because the country is in your hands.
BUT not with regards to your parents.
My God.
parents are also human. They make mistakes. Who says anyone is perfect?
Let me put it this way:
If you are not perfect, don't expect your parents to be perfect.
That's goes the same way as, if your parents make mistake or is in a bad mood or anything, and they scolded u etc, dun take it too hard. because THEY ARE NOT PERFECT. so STOP pin-pointing about them.
and again, parent have their own point of views which may differ from yours.
BUT BELIEVE in your own point of views, NOT THEIRS.
They can suggest and advice from their own experiences, but NO MATTER WHAT, the decision stll lies in you.
Get it anot... miss... hai.
Please la... wake up wake up!
Please don't say that you are indebted to them. -.-"
I really dislike it when people use these kinda words like, "i pity her.", "I feel indebted."
So what?
You are doing it for the sake of being mentally FORCED?
Like i quoted from above, do it because you WANT to do it. Don't do it cos you feel FORCED. Because you are just going to be pretending to be someone you are not because you are FAKING SINCERITY.
Sorry it sounds harsh but this is the way it is. You may think it is SELF SACRIFICING. Thinking of their needs before yours. blah blah blah. oh, touching.
But you are NOT WILLING to.. although you are PHYSICALLY doing it, you are NOT SINCERE... and when you are not sincere.. at the end of the day, you are going to BLAME THEM for firstly, maybe they are not appreciative... 2ndly, if you made the wrong decision, NO ONE WILL GO, "Oh.. it's my fault." NO! people are quick to blame others first.. they'd go, "Tmd.. why that person ask me to do this ah. now i'm like that. regret." But whose fault is it?
YOURS!
If you are dumb enough to listen to people and be in your current situation, you WELL DESERVE IT.
Ouch.
But it's the truth.
Face it.
And please.. dun blame it on fate.
Fate didn't force you to make stupid decision.
It's your mind, your soul, your body, your everything.
So it adds up to..
YOUR FAULT.
And miss ah... i know it sounds harsh but not everything is applicable to you here... the harsh part doesn't applies to you. i got carried away. =x don't take it too hard hor. *sayang*
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
11:42 AM
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Living a life full of life. That's all about me that you should know.
Living a life full of life. That's all about me that you should know.