I'm so sick of people telling me fate this fate that.

If something good happens, they say it's their own achievements. When something bad happens, they blame it on fate. tmd. Don't be such an ass can.

Fate is within your own hands. You are able to change your own fate. Life is yours. You make the choices. At the end of the day, blame it on your stupid mistake, not fate.

And to someone (ahem, pls, zhi dong yi dian. yes, i'm saying you.. the one who is thinking, "Eh? saying me ah?"), PLEASE do something about your situation.

Like i said, make your decision well and go for it.

DO NOT MAKE A DECISION BASE ON OTHER PEOPLE ADVICES OR DECISIONS.

At the end of the day, you are the one who is going to die alone, no one is going to, "oh! I made the decision for you, pls let me die with you."

You are the one who is going to suffer the consequences. To the person, it may be just a one minute advice, but YOU are the who is going to stick to it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

And what happens if you made the wrong decision?

The worst is not that you realized you made the wrong decision.

The WORST IS that you realized you were only in this state because YOU LISTENED to other people's decision.

People would say, "One life, live it.", "You only live once, live to the fullest."

yeah yeah. And for this one life, you are going to LIVE A LIFE OF OTHERS because you are CRAFTING your own journey IN ACCORDANCE to THE WAY they would craft it if they WERE you.

So in the end, your life is in a huge mess because it consist of EVERYONE'S LIFE.

Then what are you going to say?

"It's fated."

PLEASE LAH!

Fate your head! if it's so fated. Fine! Go to fortune teller and see what he says. If he says you'll live a long life and all. GOOD. I don't believe if you go now to stand in the middle of the road and you won't die of car accident.

What the fortune teller is predicting is base on your CURRENT situation. If not, why people would wanna go fortune telling to scare yourself. It's because people wanna avoid whatever the fortune teller said which they find it unpleasant!

Just like, if you go to the temple to pick lots.. why is it that people would do it for like once a month and all asking about the same question? That is because FATE changes each time you choose a different path.

Seriously, i dun get those people who believe that everything is just fated and just go with the flow... or just i don't know.. let me think... I DON'T GET IT.

So if the person says you are going to be rich in future, you can just sit still there and not do anything at home loh... den wait for yourself to strike lottery.

Fate is not STAGNANT. alamak.

And pls.. that someone... DO SOMETHING... don't leave people hanging there...

Like i said...

Okay, i'll think of a good example.

You know those books when you read when you were young?

Those like... when you come to page 65, at the end of the page, it'd reads, "If you would like to enter the door, turn to page 55, if you decide to back off, turn to page 28."?

Imagine you are reading it with your friend/mother/father (whoever)

you are the one turning the page.

So when you flipped to 65, you wanted to choose 55. But the one reading with you said, "EH! Please lah! Don't be dumb can. Go in the door confirm die one!" Then you struggled on to say, "No leh! Adventurous abit lah! I feel that 55 is the one." The other one said, "Turn to page 28 lah!"

Then you flipped to 28...

And the page reads:

"You decided not to go into the door and back out the game. As you turned around, the green slimy monster slipped up behind you and gobble you up. Behind the door, is the escape to paradise and out of your nightmare. Oops. Wrong choice! Next time, stop being such a coward and FACE IT!" (Goosebumps do write this kind of stuffs. Trust me.)

So, you died in the book.

Who are you going to blame?

Are you going to turn to your partner and say, "EH! Tmd! I wanted to choose 55 and u force me to turn to 28! See lah! Die le leh!"

Is your partner going to say, "Oops! Sorry!"

NO.

Your partner is going to say, "you are the one holding the book leh! Since when i force you! You yourself want to listen and now you blame me ah."

Imagine reading to the end of this book and flipping the pages is part of YOUR FINAL YEAR EXAM. (Not possible but just imagine)

Is your friend going to take the results or you?

You get what i mean anot?

it's YOUR choices.
it's YOUR decision
It's YOUR life.

Stop living in other people's expectation. I know. I do. i live ALOT in other people's expectation. And trust me, it's tiring. It's tires me physically and mentally. I've to do things that i don't want to do but because it's a "responsibility" or I FELT it's a "responsibility" so i did it.

BUT!!!!

I read this in a self improvement book. Let me take it out and quote it to you from "The Nice Girl Syndrome." (It's applicable to everyone actually.):

Reasons to give up being TOO nice:

1. People don't respect Nice girls (people)
2. If you don't tell others what makes you angry, upset, unhappy or disappointed, there is little chance of fixing the problem.
3. people don't really know you unless you tell them how you really feel.
4. If you don't tell people how you honestly feel, you rae being dishonest.
5. Unless you are honest about who you are and how you feel, there is little chance of you experiencing true initimacy in your relationships.

FURTHERMORE:

Another reason for giving up being nice act is that nice aren't always nice. in fact, they can often be conniving and mean. They often complain about people behind their backs because they are too afraid to confront them to their faces. They can be passive-aggressive - meaning that even though they may be angry at someone, they smile and pretend everything is okay and then do something underhanded to get back at the person.

AND MORE (This one is good)
FALSE BELIEF 1: Other people's feelings and needs are FAR MORE IMPORTANT than my own.
- You may think that every human being is taught to put others' feelings and needs first when he or she is young, because adults wish to teach all children to be kind, considerate, and generous, but this simply isn't true. Girls (Applicable to guys as well), are repeatedly taught that they should put the needs of others before their own and that they are SELFISH if they think of their own needs first.

AS YOU CAN SEE, IT IS A FALSE BELIEF.

They gave a very good example:

- If you have a STRONGER tendency of placing other people's needs ahead of your own, it may be that you were TAUGHT to be self sacrificing by your parents- either because they gave you this overt message or because you witnessed one parent (probably your mother) sacrificing herself for her husband and children.
- You've heard it before: if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others. Even the airlines know this. That's why they instruct you to put on your own exygen mask before putting on your child's.

remember this:

False belief: Other people's feelings and needs are more important than my own

Empowering belief: my feelings and needs are JUST AS IMPORTANT as anyone else's.

We are just humans. Everyone is human.

You can act all nice and all, listening to people's advices and following them, doing this and that as per people's expectation...

But there'll come a day SOMETHING/SOMEONE will enter your life and you'll rebel everything that you'd been doing.

Because... no one can be superhero for long.

Everyone have needs. Everyone wants to live their own life. Everyone wants to walk their own path. Craft their own journey. Go their way.

But why?

Why people tend to follow other people's advices, commands, expectations? especially parents'?

Because we feel indebted to them. We feel it is our responsibility to be filial.

And quoted from that someone: (And i can't believe that person actually gave me this explanation.)

The person: I want to be a good child. I feel indebted to them.

Me: What's your defination of "Good"?

The person: Obeying everything they say, come home early blah blah (I forgot the rest cos the moment i read the first part.. i just --> -.-")

OBEYING EVERYTHING THEY SAY.

At that moment, if the person is with me, i'd have pour cold water on that person.

PEOPLE! All of you have to accept that YES, we are gave birth by your mother.. our parents were the one who took care of us and all.. YES!!!

BUT!!!

Parent's role in life is to GUIDE their children through their journey.

parent's role in life does not consist of COMMANDING and CONTROLLING (Unless you are telling me you are less than 16 in age) COMMANDING AND CONTROLLING is for the MILITARY!

And even in military, my godbro says, "tmd.. feel like dog. ask me to do push up then have to do push up. Ask me to run then i have to run."

In the military, it is different because the people there have to LEARN how to listen and obey INSTRUCTIONS because the country is in your hands.

BUT not with regards to your parents.

My God.

parents are also human. They make mistakes. Who says anyone is perfect?

Let me put it this way:

If you are not perfect, don't expect your parents to be perfect.

That's goes the same way as, if your parents make mistake or is in a bad mood or anything, and they scolded u etc, dun take it too hard. because THEY ARE NOT PERFECT. so STOP pin-pointing about them.

and again, parent have their own point of views which may differ from yours.

BUT BELIEVE in your own point of views, NOT THEIRS.

They can suggest and advice from their own experiences, but NO MATTER WHAT, the decision stll lies in you.

Get it anot... miss... hai.

Please la... wake up wake up!

Please don't say that you are indebted to them. -.-"

I really dislike it when people use these kinda words like, "i pity her.", "I feel indebted."

So what?

You are doing it for the sake of being mentally FORCED?

Like i quoted from above, do it because you WANT to do it. Don't do it cos you feel FORCED. Because you are just going to be pretending to be someone you are not because you are FAKING SINCERITY.

Sorry it sounds harsh but this is the way it is. You may think it is SELF SACRIFICING. Thinking of their needs before yours. blah blah blah. oh, touching.

But you are NOT WILLING to.. although you are PHYSICALLY doing it, you are NOT SINCERE... and when you are not sincere.. at the end of the day, you are going to BLAME THEM for firstly, maybe they are not appreciative... 2ndly, if you made the wrong decision, NO ONE WILL GO, "Oh.. it's my fault." NO! people are quick to blame others first.. they'd go, "Tmd.. why that person ask me to do this ah. now i'm like that. regret." But whose fault is it?

YOURS!

If you are dumb enough to listen to people and be in your current situation, you WELL DESERVE IT.

Ouch.

But it's the truth.

Face it.

And please.. dun blame it on fate.

Fate didn't force you to make stupid decision.

It's your mind, your soul, your body, your everything.

So it adds up to..

YOUR FAULT.

And miss ah... i know it sounds harsh but not everything is applicable to you here... the harsh part doesn't applies to you. i got carried away. =x don't take it too hard hor. *sayang*