My Life. My Diary.

Things I want to accomplish If I know I Only Have 10 Days To Live

Things I want to accomplish If I know I Only Have 10 Days To Live

1. Go on a Roller-Coaster ride, 360 degrees
2. Perform on stage
3. Read 10 more true crime stories
4. Drink as much 3-in-one coffee as possible
5. Go on a movie marathon
6. Take part in Sports Day
7. Cook a feast for myself full of potatoes, vegetables, mushrooms and all my favourite dishes
8. Play as many games as possible and try out Resident Evil 5
9. Go on a shopping spree and buy as many things as I like!
10. Go to Zoo, Night Safari and Sentosa
11. Go party every night!!
12. Get my hair done, manicure, pedicure, eyelash perm and extension
13. Buy a water bed!!
14. Have a big gathering!
15. Learn all sorts of dances (POLE DANCE!)
16. Buy all the latest gadgets!
17. Act like a crazy fool in public, laugh as loud as I want
18. Compose 10 more songs
19. Hug my loved ones
20. Happy

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

11:55 AM

World Of Love

Indulge in a world of Love
Oblivious to surrounding tears and fears
Sacred stones and rusty cards
Emerge from chest 10 pence worth

Children dance, people sing
Ignore the cries "Come help me"
Dance as they may to welcome life
The source of love and dying pain

Skies bathed in red, ocean in black
as lightning creep into the lonesome night
Come as you might, come to my sight
Walk into the blazing light

For I will drain life of endless hatred
And bestow love that you search
The joy of every single word
Of the world, the world of Love.

Accept the pain, my dear
For stronger as you may will diminish fear
As night and day, come year by year
Non-existent is endless tears

For nothing or one is here to stay
But come my child, don't be afraid
For at night in hay you rest and lay
Someone else is guiding the way

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

1:52 PM

My ideal world

I always immerse myself in a world of imagination that has no pressure, stress, burden, responsibilities...

Helping people with no responsibilities

Loving people with no pain

No fears and tears but joy and laughter.

Trusting people without a second thought

Believe that everyone is good by nature.

Tell with no hidden feelings.

I love to live in this kinda world.. Don't you?

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

1:45 PM

Positive

It's challenging.

For those who don't know me well enough, maybe this post will give you the chance to.

I shall come clean with all of you:

The one and only Me
1. I love attention and I need attention
2. I'm quick and bad tempered.
3. Efficient, loves to analyze and detailed.
4. Always consider consequences and all possible "what ifs"
5. Sentimental and clingy
6. Competitive with a must-win attitude
7. Protective of loved ones
8. Give 100% effort or nothing at all
9. Easily discouraged but quick to be motivated
10. Love to make friends
11. Very humble
12. Sympathetic and empathetic
13. Willing to sacrifice for my loved ones
14. Love to be appreciated as it serves as motivation
15. Always willing to lend a listening ear even thou from someone i don't like.
16. Forgiving but never forgets
17. Will not let matters rest till it's solved
18. Righteous
19. Perfectionist
20. Never forgets

As you can see, my biggest biggest huge flaw is bad and quick tempered which i don't deny is the biggest huge fat of stone in front of my path be it personal or career.

And the easiest way to flare me up is to step on my loved ones' tails.

I love to give my all. I don't see it as, "I have to" but i see it as , "I want to".

But once i give my all and I don't see enough appreciation, I'd be easily discouraged and go back to my little hole to hibernate.

I don't care about the past. But if i realized that it's got something to do with personal growth etc, I'd not let it go easily.

I strive for 100%. Once i see things unsettled, I'd not rest. I'll keep ranting on and nagging for it to be solved because i hate for things to be hanging there.

I don't like to bottle up my feelings. I don't like to fake. I don't like to put on a mask. Don't like means I don't like. Like means I like. I'm quick to judge. Quick to complain. Quick to comment. Quick to compliment.

I love music because it's the only time i can indulge myself in my imagination and fantasies to escape the real world.

I am sarcastic. In fact, I can be super sarcastic.

I love to entertain. Talented in anything that is musical. I love poems. I love letters. I'm just an old sentimental fool who loves anything that is hand-made.

Feeling down but I'd survive and I'll get through this.

Things can't be that bad. I just have to look for the slightest glint of light at the end of the tunnel.

I just have to keep myself going and tell myself everything will be alright. After all, nothing is impossible. I just have to keep my energy level up and be positive. Things will certainly turn up for the better.

I'm sure.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

10:00 AM

Brilliant!!!

Okay, at last, it's done. Like I said, this is only temporary. I'm going to get my blogskin done when I have the time.. which is like going to take me a few months time. But at least, this is presentable isn't it?

Those of you who love the song in my blog, as you can see, it's called "Dream of Happiness". If you like this kinda genre of songs, I have the whole album. You can come get it from me.

I'm very generous, won't bite. Unless you step on my tail.

She just did last week.

Sometimes, people, when you lie, please *keep my fingers crossed*, TRY HARDER. If it takes for you to draw up a mind map or whatever "To Lie To Li Li" Plan, PLEASE GO AHEAD. Eh, come on loh. Not only it makes you look stupid, it makes me look stupid too.

Do i look like i'm so GULLIBLE? goodness!

This girl whom I know since Secondary school, seriously, each time she lies, I'd squeeze my eyes shut, pinch myself to check whether I'm in a nightmare.

She asked us out and then, she played MIA. Then it's okay.

She lied to us saying she was in hospital and that she could not attend to her phone. When asked when she got admitted into hospital, she said one week ago cos she had gastric problems.

The first question that came into mind is:

"What brand model is your phone ah?!"

I ALSO WANT! The battery can last for ONE WEEK LEH! Ai seh!

Second question:

"Your gastric infested with MAGGOTS IS IT?!"

She thinks I'm dumb.. as if i'd no history of gastric problems and she should know better than to lie to this extend! Goodness!!!

Third question:

"ARE YOU DUMB?!"

I mean, if you can't lie, freaking don't lie lah!

Eh, hello. You can't make it, just say can't make it. Why do you have to lie to this extend?

I don't even have to think more than 2 seconds to know she's lying!

I should have just left her to get beaten to death in the LRT during secondary school days. I must be blind to help her.

I still can't believe it

Handphone's battery can last for a week.

*shake head*

BLOODY BRILLIANT!

*applaud*

Even I can't think of it.

*Roll eyes*

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

11:29 AM

Changing my template because i stupidly delete my codes. And i'm lazy to do up a new one. Not like I've alot of time to sit in front of the computer to trial and error the whole day.

Goodness.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

11:12 AM

Happy New Year everyone!

I am tired.. yawning.. but i still can't sleep yet because after today, i realized in future, i should keep my mouth shut.. I bet with mom AGAIN.. it's the same old bet. Whoever sleeps first pay the winner $50. Looks like I'm going to lose soon. It's so unfair. I've an injured eye and two injured ears... I can hardly keep my left eye open. Seems like the end of my eyes got sewn together. Again, when i took off my contacts, i went to pull apart the lids and i almost died from the pain. It's like your wound is recovering and the skin are like pulling itself together.. then you forget all about it and went to pull it apart again. sob.

I'm trying hard not to scratch my wounds BUT IT'S REALLY ITCHY!

After i grumbled and grumbled, mom eventually went with dad and I to Chinatown. Initially, i thought it was still at the same old place which is at City Hall. When we alighted the bus, i knew it was too quiet for it to be held there but dad didn't believe me. He continued to walk on at the expense of my aching feet. (mom was happily, "I told you not to wear heels right!") So anyway, i asked, "Eh, don't have anything lah. I think it's at Chinatown." Dad said, "Have! I see blue lights!"

I replied, "Pa.. that's the esplanade......"

So he was convinced after we practically reached Esplanade. So, we took a bus to Chinatown to woot! Squeeze with sweaty people!

I realized actually, practically all the stalls sell the same thing.

*yawn*

My mom is darn hilarious. She just asked, "Do you have any shoes or heels to throw away?"

GOODNESS! I ONLY HAVE ONE PAIR OF HEELS! And one pair of track shoes. One pair of slippers. what she wanna throw away ah?!

I realized coffee has absolutely no effect on me. I still feel lethargic.

It's not fair. She can pretend to meditate, then fall asleep on the chair. Anyway, i won't be able to tell if she is awake or asleep. Cheater.

sigh. goodness.. I'm really falling asleep.

I'm off to play games to keep myself awake.

At least, i hope it would.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

11:29 PM

Love

I've listened and faced quite a number of r/s issues on hand for these few months. I'd like to share with all of you something which I came across from the internet which i find it meaningful:

1. Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
2. Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.
3. Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
4. You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel
5. Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.
6. Sometimes what you want isn't always what you get, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted
7. When I say I love you. You say you don't deserve it. When I say I need you . You say I deserve someone better, When I say my life is better with you. You say I don't know any better. But when I kiss you, you say I love you, When I have to go, you say I need you. When I am with you, you know, that there is no better feeling then our love coming together and that is something we both deserve.
8. You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
9. Everything is alright in the end. If it's not alright, then it's not the end
10. If you want the rainbow, you must first go through the rain

I heard of break-ups, heard of "If only...", heard of, "why?", heard of, "I thought"...

It's weird that people don't cherish who/what they have till it is gone.

And it is weird that people choose to go after things/people who are beyond reach and choose to neglect the ones who are with them all along.

I guess people just have to wait till they lose someone to know how much the person means to them.

Each of us just have to cherish our lives as if we are going to die tomorrow and should always live our life to the fullest. Get a hobby. Do something you really like and have passion for. If anyone step on your tail, just voice out and do whatever you like to make yourself happy but of course, not something immoral lah ok. Like if someone cut your queue and you si bei buay song that person, just step on the person's foot (accidentally of course) if it makes you feel better rather than to sulk the whole day or meal just because of a stranger.

Somethings and some people are just not worth for our time and emotions.

Certain things just have to be taken as a pinch of salt but of course, some things which should be taken seriously, you should.

Guess good judgements play a very important role.

If you have not have goals in your life, DO IT NOW.

We should not be living for the sake of living. If we do not have goals/plans, we are just blindly follow what is presented to us at that moment which we might regret later.

Sacrifices are never sacrifices if it's worth-while.

Sacrifices would merely be just something that can be dealt with later or some other time or something not as worth while as whatever you desire at that present moment.

There shall be no committment because committment is a chore.

A relationship is not about fulfilling a committment but a promise between the hearts. (I did not get it from quote books okay.)

One should not ever look back but look towards the future. The past shall serve as a lesson learnt but the future will bring whatever you hope and dream of. You can never change the past because the past are nothing but memories. You can change the present and future. So why look back on something you can't change?

Being in a relationship is about building trust because we can't be 24/7 with our partners. But of course, trust is not easily built. It may take 5 years, may take 10 years.. but why not if the r/s is going to last for the lifetime? What is 10 years compared to 75 years? (in my context)

Like i told my friend, she asked, "How to make him trust me?"

First, it takes time. Second, prove that you are worth trusting. Third, Don't open yourself up to possibilities of being in a situation you don't wish to be in. Fourth, wait for incidence to happen.

It's true. Sometimes, challenges have to occur for both parties to take their level of trust towards each other up one level.

It may take 10 years to build trust but it only takes one day to break it.

Have all of you watched dramas?

In most happy endings, the female and male lead get together and all.

The rest are just extras.

They are just there to set up the climax and all to strengthen whatever bond there is between the female and male lead.

Life is merely just a stage.

You set the guidelines, the story, the plan...

the rest are history.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

3:34 PM

Busy

Busy busy busy.

I've so many things to do, so little time.

Please people, do something constructive.

Don't waste your time on trivial matters.

*shrug*

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

7:15 PM

Speak for yourself

Poor mom told me someone gave her attitude and pretend not to know her while in the saloon. And furthermore, the person who gave attitude claims I have attitude problem! Goodness!

Perhaps you would like to add your attitude problem into your New Year Resolution list. I chided you for nuts? I don't recall showing you attitude in the first few messages. You were the one who gave attitude in your FIRST message.

I tried my best not to blog anything and all but yet since you want to make things big, as you wish.

But i believe i did nothing wrong on that day such that you've to indirectly shoot me by saying, "You didn't even tell me you are coming down" and for nuts, my mom don't deserve to be treated this way.

And you might think there's nothing wrong with telling the hairstylist about my hair condition but it's my privacy.

If you think I have attitude problem, why not you ask your bf whether it's as big as yours. I doubt so.

I refuse to get upset and whatever on this small issue. I will comment no more on this.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

1:12 PM