Question: Have I regretted being in my previous relationship? Elaborate.
Answer: No. Simply because without my experience from previous relationship, i couldn't have done better in my current relationship. It is only because of my previous relationship that I am more appreciative of my current relationship. I've a bf who is sometimes-patient, sometimes-sweet, sometimes-caring, all-time naggy, includes me in his plans, very accommodating and always seek for improvement! What more can i ask?
=x
Maybe it'd be better without the "sometimes"
*pat pat*
It's okay, darling.
You tried.
LOL!
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
2:51 PM
After staying up till 1am for Liverpool & Manchester City's match to end, i decided it's time for bed. I was not feeling tired as I did catch a few winks in the evening.
So I made my last order to Marilyn for online clothes and proceeded out of study-room for bed.
Off the lights, took my mobile phone and charged it next to me like i usually do at night before i sleep. I hugged my pillow and bolster and closed my eyes.
Just approximately 10 seconds after i closed my eyes, I hear voices.
Not one, not two, in fact, I'm not sure how many were there.
I tried to make out what they were saying and for some reason, i know they were talking to me. But i just couldn't make out what they were trying to say.
I opened my eyes and i saw weird images which i couldn't make out what is it.
It was blurred and yet, colourful.
I know it is a picture of something but I do not know what it is.
The voices continued on and for some weird reasons, I couldn't move.
I closed my eyes and opened again.
The image is still there, swirling in front of me.
I got so afraid that I struggled vigorously, determined to get out of that state.
I managed to turn and rest of my left.
I told myself not to panic, that it might just be my imagination.
And I closed my eyes again.
Nothing appeared and not a single sound could be heard for a minutes when i tried to go to sleep.
Then.. it came again.
The voices.
I hear more of the male voices.
Again, I couldn't move.
After a few minutes, I manage to sit up and catch my breath.
I looked at my mom, she was soundly asleep.
Then afterward, I manage to drift into slumber.
The next morning, I was awoken by my alarm. I messaged hubby to wake up.
5 minutes later, he replied, "10 minutes more."
So I slept a little longer before messaging him once again.
I got up to make breakfast.
After preparing and packing everything into a plastic bag, I began to wash the pots.
Then i hear..
"Knock, knock, knock"
3 times.
I thought it was hubby so i opened the door.
No one.
Then i realized.. that knock doesn't sounds like coming from my main door at all. it was something more hollow.
With a bad gut feeling, I pretended nothing happened...
Is my nightmare coming back again?
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
12:01 PM
I wonder how it feels like to regret?
Is regretful an emotion?
For me, i guess... there are of course many things which i regretted. Like for not studying hard enough in Secondary school etc. But i guess, it's all over. I can only make do with what is given to me now and do my best.
Much as I want to console you as a friend... I'm sorry but I can't.
Life is beautiful.
There are many things to look forward to and many things to be learn.
Like you said before, both of us are someone who happens to touch and passes each other life for us to learn something in life.
I'd learned my lesson.
You'd given me confidence and for that, I'm grateful.
I'm sure one day when you are able to live the life of your own instead of others, you'd be a happier person. =)
Be appreciative of every little things in life.
For nothing last forever.
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
10:57 AM
不听俐利言，吃亏在眼前
It's proven. Really. To all of you who'd gotten advices from me before... isn't it true?
But you know what, what has happened has already happened. No point crying over spilled milk. Lick it. LOL!
Okay, but point is, if there's no remedy for the situation, you know what you should do?
I'd bless you with two words.
"Move On"
Let me give you the ultimate secret of my 'move on' technique.
Hey, exclusively for my readers one okay! people and friends are always amazed by the way I manage to be positive and move on, so i shall share the ultimate secret. I'll give different scenarios in future. But let's start off with the most common scenario
could have but never had/ Got dumped
1) The most common 'get your butt moving' scenario
2) Convince yourself that you'd done your best and given the same situation again, you'd have made the same decision/choice (Trust me, this is the most important step. I always tell myself even if given in the same situation once again, I'd have done the same thing.)
3) Do whatever it takes for you to KNOW everything that had happened. (This is also important. Because you do not want to look back at the past anymore. So in order to do that and not leave any lingering unanswered questions, make sure you know what happened in the r/s.. why both of you broke up etc. YOU'VE EVERY RIGHTS TO KNOW!)
4) Given in the context that your ex-partner has a dick in his mouth or has some serious attitude problem with settling everything once and for all, just skip to point 5
5) Your ex-partner is a dick. CONGRATS! YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION! BUT forgive your ex-partner. Have the attitude that says, "Too bad". Of course, not asking you to be conceited etc. But do not allow your self-esteem to be lower down because of him/her! But anyway, bottom line is to forgive. I mean, we don't want to waste our emotions/time on stupid people, right?
6) Do not be stupid to delete the phone number from your phone. HELLO! Please!! As if you don't remember his/her number?!
7) Remove all the pictures/gifts etc from your room given by the ex-partner, dump it in a box and THROW AWAY. If you still have his/her stuffs in your room, use a permanent ink marker, write, "TOO BAD" and be nice, return it back to him/her
8) Do stuffs which you couldn't do before when you were in a r/s. ENJOY YOURSELF!
9) In any case, if your ex-partner contact you, sound like you've better things to do!
10) In no time, you'd get over the dick-head! YIPPEE! =) But what's most important is, BE DETERMINED AND ENJOY BEING SINGLE!
See, people. It's as simple as you look. Because it's all your head!!
Remember! If you got dumped and you'd done your best: YOU DESERVE BETTER AND YOU SHOULD NOT AND CANNOT BE SEEN IN THE DUMPS! THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE LOWERING HIS/HER HEAD AND EATING BANANA SKIN IS THE STUPID GUY/GIRL WHO DUMPED YOU! SO YOU KNOW WHAT?!
LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND BE POSITIVE!
Because trust me...
The next person who is coming up next in your life, is going to be much better.
Wait and see
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
11:31 AM
我的华语真的是好差劲。其实，我好几年前就一直到这个悲惨的事实。
我必须用华语介绍新加坡。
简直是一场恶梦。我的作文真的是差到“今天是一个风和日丽的早晨。小明背着书包上学去。” 写一行就要查十次的字典。真是无可救药了。
为什么要这样折磨我？
It's for my singing class. I'm so afraid! shucks! I don't even know what's esplanade in mandarin! But now i know, all thanks to dearest Eric. =D
滨海艺术中心。
I think i better get back to cracking my brains to come out with my introduction. I'm in front of the computer for 2 hours and yet, there's just 8 sentence.
Oh No
i'm in for some big frying shit.
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
11:36 AM
New year goods still sitting on the table in our living room.
It's beckoning to me each and everyday to gobble them up. If not, they are going to be left untouched. Poor thing.
And oh yes, the other time, i saw this cat clawing at a poor lizard. *cries* I was meeting ken and the cat was like chewing on the poor lizard!! I didn't dare to go near the cat and lizard so i asked Ken to scare the cat away. But the cat damn obstinate! The moment Ken go over, the cat goes away.. after 1 minute, he comes back to look for the lizard which is like struggling for it's life on the floor.
But the lizard didn't give up on itself.. it kept trying to crawl away...
I can imagine how the lizard feels. =( sigh.
Tim is another disgusting fella... going to into details of how his cat brings a cockroach or lizard to him after playing with it. -.-" And he was laughing when he told me about it.
And that leads me to wonder why lilin love cats so much. -.-"
puppies would be cuter. =D
And i wanna make something clear.
My previous post on "appreciation", got nothing to do with anybody okay! I'm not directing it at anyone, goodness!!!
Anyway, everything is solved and it feels so much more refreshing! ^^
I heard being bridesmaid too many of a times will leaves you being single for the rest of your life.
I wonder if it applies to emcees as well. =x
Rainy season recently...
I hate rainy days.
Cold and troublesome. I hate bringing umbrellas out.
Someone, invent something that can enable my hands to be free while leaving myself dry without looking stupid in the rain.
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
1:19 PM
For all of you people who know me well, you should know i'm very much into serial murderers.
No, it's not because I want to be one of them but I'm just interested in the way they think.
I came across this website:
http://people.howstuffworks.com/serial-killer.htm
How-Stuff-Works actually have information on how serial killer works!
I'm very much intrigued by the "why" question. That's pretty much why I love reading true crime stories because... can you imagine yourself dissecting anybody? I think dissecting a frog even is disgusting for you, don't even talk about a human body.
So why?
What's so "special" about them that they can just dissect, murder, eat etc humans?
What are they thinking?
Can you imagine yourself killing your parents?
I don't think so.
But well, they did:
http://www.truecrimeweblog.com/2008/03/caffey-family-murders.html
http://www.unsolvedmysteries.com/usm189366.html
Can you imagine yourself eating another human?
http://crime.about.com/od/serial/a/dahmer.htm
http://crime.about.com/od/serial/p/albertfish.htm
I believe people will get lonely sometimes... but would you kill for company?
He did:
http://hellhorror.com/killers/serial_killer/16/dennis-nilsen.html
I'm of course, not a sadist and all but If i could.. I want to be a forensic psychologist.
Oh well..
If only i live in America.
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
10:13 AM
It always amaze me how people can compare one for one on everything.
You know why it amazes me?
Because everyone is unique and different. How the hell you compare? It's just the same as parents. I'm sure all of you are familiar with the, "You look at ah Gou! He scores 6 straight As! You?!"
Can!!! You put Ah Gou's brain into your child's head loh! Confirm can one!
You might as well exchange the whole body!
Everybody have their own strengths and weakness.
If up till now, you people who have been close to me don't know me well... then something is wrong somewhere.
1. I may seem ignorant doesn't mean I really am.
2. I may seem I'm okay with it doesn't mean I really am too.
3. I can give and put in efforts but i need appreciation
4. I don't look back and name out ALL the stuffs I gave to you and expect returns.
I'm going to RE-EMPHASIZE on my first point.
I may seem ignorant doesn't mean i really am.
You may think on the surface I do not care but I do. If up till now, you think I can totally forget and get over our friendship for the past years, then.. you must have got the wrong person.
I value friendship and family. Because of them, I am standing where I am today.
I'd not forget every single helping hand that had been reached out to me.
I have my circle of friends, you have yours.
If you want me to name out things that I am unhappy about our friendship, I could have name out a few which i think up till now, you still do not know about it but i refuse to rake up all the past incidents. There are times that you meet up with your circle of friends to activities that I asked you to go but you didn't want to. I was unhappy. But I don't make a fuss out of it. Because life is yours. You can go out with whoever you want to and do whatever you like. I'd never said things like, "Why you go out with blah blah blah, but not with me?"
I think this is not the first time i handle such issues.
People, what is your real definition of friends?
I've plenty of friends whom I'd not even met for months.
I have a busy schedule. I have singing classes, 2 dance classes, my school which take up another 2 more days. I don't even have time to go out with my bf on a decent date unless one of the class got postponed etc. If you are frustrated about my schedule, ME TOO!
You think I don't like to hang out? You have your schedule, I have mine. If our schedules do not allow us to meet, what can I do??
My only free day is Wednesday for me to pak tor.
I have so many things and issues to handle. I can't possibly remember every single details and all.
The only time i met dear after months is when another friend of ours went through a break up.
That's it!
Most of the time, we chat in MSN. The same goes for lilin. I meet her like after don't know how many donkey months.
Does that mean I don't care?
Do i look like the kind that "Oh, now I have dear, the rest can just go away." ?
And I'm not the kind to immediately update anybody when something happens unless it's really HUGE like i'm going to be a star or something.
It had never occurred to me to message you that I'm bringing my mom to the salon because I'm only sending here there and I'm off.
Friendship to me is just simple..
Sharing and being there.
That's it. Why is it that it has to be made so complex?
I don't ask for you to update me the moment something happen too. I believe there are number of times you choose to update your bf first or other friends which I'm fine with it. Because it may just happen that you are online and that something happen... then another good friend of yours is online so you update her immediately.
I mean, do we really have to be so fussy over little things like this?
If I'm really ignorant about our friendship.. in the first place, could i have been bothered to read your blog and post such a long post on it.
You should know me. If i really don't care, i seriously don't. I won't even bother to write a single sentence on it.
If you think you are the only one experiencing the "Why you didn't send me our pictures.", you can ask my mom. It takes me 2 years to upload our pictures into the computer. I'm just me. I always procastinate. I'm not saying that it's not important or anything like that. Like i said in my previous post, if we meet up and take pictures, I'd upload the pictures into facebook as well because now, i can just stick the memory card into the computer slot and upload ALL.
I hate sending through msn and emails because it takes forever. I'm impatient. I can't stand waiting.
Not sending you pictures does not mean I do not care about you.
Goodness!
Seriously NO LINK!
Do you see a SINGLE link?
I do not wish to go on a continuous blog-battle with you because it'd go nowhere.
Conclusion of this WHOLE friendship: I cherish and value every friendships i have. Not sending you pictures DOES NOT equate to I can't be bothered. I don't wish to rake up all of our history and debate about it because it'd be pointless. What's over is over. If i keep arguing with you over past issues which actually, I don't even quite remember much because I don't like to remember unhappy stuffs, It'd be endless. If you feel that I'm not good enough to be your sis/friend etc, I'd respect that.
----Ended----
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
9:24 AM
I wonder how many times had we taken people for granted.
I think everyone is guilty of that.
Like for example:
1. Your mom who does the laundries, housework, cooking etc
2. Advices and company from friends.
3. Everyone's presence
4. The computer you are using now, furniture, beds, food etc.
5. peace
And the list goes on.
Everyone thinks that everyone lives forever. Hence, we'd quarrel and argue like nobodies business until something happens.
What if i tell you, *touch wood*, today would be the last day you are able to hold your gf/bf's hands?
Or.. the last day your mom is going to cook a meal for you?
Every effort counts. Whether the food is nice or bad, it's just the result. But everybody forgets, it's the effort and journey that matters. It's the process.
Do you have any idea how much time is needed to prepare ingredients for cooking? Or do you know, how many times had your parents/whoever who does the cooking scalded his/her hands while cooking a homely meal for you just to hear complains like, "eee.. too salty."
At the end of the day, they just need a hug or a simple thank you.
Of course, I don't ask for you to say "thank you" every now and then after every meals. But what I'm saying is, rather than complaining, you could have compliment and comment.
Comment in the sense that you say things like, "ai seh! Very nice leh the chicken wings. But if you fry a little more longer, it'd be much better."
We are too busy and stress out in work/school etc to notice the little efforts that people put in.
Admit it, there are times, not only you failed to appreciate but you complained.
Please be reminded that it's not your mom's obligations to cook for you. She can jolly well ask you to da bao home.
Like i said in my previous post, no one is obligated to take care of you or to love you.
And therefore, every each and single person who step into your life and make an effort, they did it out of love and concern. So? Appreciate it.
A simple thank you will do.
Even when my dad pass me chopsticks, I make a point to say thanks. Or a grateful smile will do.
And do all of you know how much time is needed to wash your clothes?
An average person have minimum 4-6 pieces of clothing to wash a day. Count how many people are there in your family and how many pieces of clothes your mom has to wash.
And how many times had you complained that the stain is still there or throw tantrum just because you can't find your clothes, accusing them of misplacing it?
Again, it's not their duty to wash your dirty clothes.
Anyone can just leave your dirty set of clothes in the toilet and who cares if you run out of clothes? I'm not wearing em'
Your parents are only human, and every human make mistakes. We are not perfect, so what makes you think our parents are perfect?
Give them a break, people.
And your friends?
How many times had you asked for their advices and ended up, couldn't care less? If you think giving advices is just as simple as spelling out L-O-V-E, think again.
I give advices all the time. What makes you think that I've nothing else better to do than to listen to your problems and think of solutions for you? I believe that everyone who gives advices understands that... you are laying out your time, listening to your friends etc, thinking up of what-to-do at the expense of your problems and time.
It might not be obvious, but then again, no one is obligated to.
They can choose to tune out. Ignore. Tell you, "I've better things to do."
Don't you think they deserve appreciation?
I admit, I am guilty of that too. And i believe everyone is. Because all of us.. once we get comfortable with an individual, we tend to forget about little things like this.
All of us are humans. We give and receive. Learn to give and receive.
And anyway, favours are never-ending.
There's no one-to-one.
It's not like exchanging of Christmas presents.
Once you learn to give willingly, you'll expect no return.
But then again, everyone gets tired and frustrated someday.
So?
Appreciate. It all boils down to "appreciation".
Once you appreciate, it's sufficient.
Morale of this post?
"All of us gets busy yesterday, today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. But never fail to stop and observe.. who are the ones who make a pause in their journey in life to make a difference in yours."
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
11:39 AM
Does anyone has a remedy for stage fright? Or is there such a thing as audition fright?
For some reason, be it acting or singing, in front of an audience, my usual form will be deemed as non-existent.
The first audition i had was in MediaCorp. You should have seen me struggling to memorise the scripts. I had to memorise the entire 4 pages long script in less than 30 minutes. For a forgetful person like me, it's impossible. I was totally unprepared because I didn't even know i have to memorise scripts!
I still remember the contents actually. It's about this siblings sitting in front of the TV, eating popcorn and talking about their mom in hospital.
After I was done with the script, they showed me into a room with a camera filming on me. And I'm suppose to act solo with another girl talking out loud the male's part from behind the camera. So it's ridiculous because I'm like acting with a camera? Can you imagine you have to express yourself to the air when you are supposed to talk to a person as per the script? You know what's the worst part? The worst part is...
The script is in Chinese.
I'm not even sure if they know what I'm talking about because if they do, I'd be amazed. Even I myself am unsure what I'm talking about. But it was a really enjoyable experience and also a lesson well-learnt. To be prepared for all auditions be it big or small.
But anyway... I got to act with Tay Ping Hui and Alan Wu.
It was darn early in the morning.. I'd to reach MediaCorp by 930 -10am for make-up, changing of clothes and all. I took my script from the receptionist and began memorising my lines. It's a really fun experience because you get to see the back-scene work. The director is really very nice and along with the other team members, they were very patient with me.
There are times I walked the wrong way. Oops. Okay, it's only one time alright. The cable was on the floor. Goodness.. and I almost tripped on it. And they have to secure a small microphone into my clothes but it was a little awkward because the one doing it for me is a man.
There was this extra who claimed that he just came out of mental hospital. He was like "Eh, don't tell anyone okay." For an extra role, he told us that his friend claimed he can be famous by being the extra in the entertainment industry. And then he'd be stuck with $3 an hour. LOL! Yes, that's how much an extra is paid. You just sit at the background and don't talk. And you know what he did? He went to talk to Alan who was innocently just messaging with his phone. He said, "Eh, I have this phone too!" Alan was like, "Errr... okay.." At last, he wanted to take pictures with Alan. Yes, I was the one who took the picture for him. And no.. I didn't take pictures with the actors. All i did was chat with tay ping hui. We were getting ready to film and things were not ready yet so he asked me if it was my first time acting and so on.
Anyway, that's my first acting experience.
Second acting experience was with elvin ng, another man and another lady whom i don't remember the names. Yes! Elvin Ng is so charming! But initially, I didn't know who he was. We were filming in Suntec and you should have seen how the lady stopped the people from walking to our filming area. Quite hilarious. It was like 10am in the morning and people were rushing to go work. If i were them, I'd be pissed.
I goofed up on practically all my auditions if you were to ask me. Especially singing. For some reason, I'd be so afraid, my throat refuse to work with me.
And the most stupid thing was (As said by my singing teacher), when given a second chance by the judges, I said, "it's okay." and i just walked out.
Alright, it was dumb.
And there was this time, my audition is held on the third floor and i had to climb flights of stairs before reaching. By that time, I was too exhausted to perform. And you know what i sang? FIR - Ni hen ai ta. But the judges are really very patient with me and all. I'm really thankful for that.
I learnt something from my dance courses as well.
People who are too embarrassed to dance "big" are the ones who'd be looking stupid.
Really.
You'd look like a frail woman dancing. Anyway, everyone is there to learn, so just do your best. If you think by dancing "small", you won't get laughed at, think again.
I kinda miss acting though. But i can never make sense of the acting lessons. Like there was this part, the teacher asked us to act out how we want to stage our death. I was like.. "huh??"
But i really enjoy modelling just that I'm too short for the runway. sigh.
Someone, please, help me to grow taller.
But anyway, ultimately, what i wish to gain is experience.
You are only young once so TRY EVERYTHING!!!
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
9:53 AM
I'd remembered something over the weekend. Something in which i almost forgot through out these few months. And it's a very valuable lesson learned from my previous relationship. "If a dream requires sacrifices from my loved ones, then it's not my dream." Ultimately, my loved ones are my dreams and future.
On Saturday, we went for karaoke singing with mom and her friends. Mom simply love to embarrass me.
hubby was unpacking his stuffs so it took quite a while for us to head down to bukit batok to join her. And she kept messaging me saying, "Why aren't you here yet?"
When i replied her, "It's only singing.. no need to be so gan chiong."
She replied, "All of them waiting for you to sing leh!"
Probably, she went around telling her friends that I'm a good singer again which is completely untrue. Afterwards, we went for community dinner.
City Alive 2009!!
Great music and great atmosphere! It's very grand and enjoyable! I had fun dancing and acting all crazy. Sigh. Hubby and buddy's eyes got real pampered by the beauties in City Alive. But goodness!! The ladies there are really hot and sexy!!! *look at myself* sigh
I wore this shirt to the event and hubby was like, " -.-" Goodness!!!!" Because it's suppose to be a shirt but i wore it as a dress. so you can imagine how short it is. Okay, wait, don't imagine.
Buddy didn't dare to dance at first because he was too SHY! LOL!
OH! But there are a number of hunks there too! Erm.. well.. not that I'm looking.. but.. ahem.
Okay, ANYWAY... If you missed the event, GOODNESS! What were you DOING?!
But the music at the second half was quite disappointing....
Anyway, hubby had moved in to my block! Woot! That means........ we can go stroll in the park more often, talk more often, meet up more often and see each other more often! Wee!!
And it's great for him as well because he don't have to travel back to Clementi after sending me home. Isn't that every bf's dream? =x
Oh, and we had family steamboat dinner!
And it was quite hilarious because of my beloved parents.
Mom has always been very gan chiong type and dad, very patient. So one is very gan chiong, putting all the fish balls etc in while dad was like, "CAN WAIT ANOT! You think what? Magic ah?"
She expected the soup to boil immediately.
And we were talking about "ren ri" Dad says that Sunday (1 Feb), is the day that people traditionally will eat "qi dao cai" (7 vegetables). But in mandarin, it can be interpreted as 7 dishes.
it's supposingly to bring healthiness to you after eating it. But of course, it's not just any grass that you find in the park. It's specific 7 kinds of vegetables.
Mom was darn hilarious.
After we explained, she began counting from.....
and she said, "我们实际上吃了七种菜. 你们数"
Dad: She don't know anything and she anyhow shoot.
Me: *burst out laughing"
And we'd two plates of vegetables on the table.
Bro: What's this?
Mom: Dang oh
Bro: it's disgusting!!!
Mom: No leh! Your sis like to eat
Me: *look up* eh! What! Since when?!
Bro: -.-"
Mom: Your mei mei like dang oh!
Me: I didn't say i like okay!
Mom: I thought you like to watch 王子变青蛙? The guy's name is call dang oh right?
Me: -.-""""""""""""""""
Bro: -.-"""""""""""
Alex: *struggle not to laugh*
Me to bro: She never fails to amaze me with her excuses.
Mom: 好吃. Good for health
Bro: Really? Good for which part of the body?
Mom: ...... It's really nice. *turn to me* Eat eat. dang oh.
Me: it's YAN XU loh!!!!
Bro: YES YES! IT TASTE LIKE YAN XU!
Me: -.-""""""
her final verdict of the night?
Mom: It's dang oh.
Someone...
help her
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
3:21 PM
I'm feeling tired and restless... because of SOMEONE who enjoys watching LP so much at the expense of my beauty sleep. *yawn* Puffy eyes.
School starts again today. Sometimes, i feel that my entire week is so organized because of all the classes and lessons that there's no room for me to breathe at all. I wanna PAK TOR!!! $%^&*(
i realized something about most people...
People are quick to judge and complain but are never quick to stop and think.. to compliment.
They'd give a silent nod or think to themselves, "Oh, she is good." and made a silent acknowledgment about it.
Why, people?
We should appreciate every single things in life.
If we keep stopping to look, judge and complain about everybody's flaws, we are never going to have any friends etc. Because no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws.
The way to be happy is to overlook and accept the flaws while complimenting on the good sides of one.
I'm not saying that if your loved ones go and steal etc, u stand by there and overlook everything.
No.
I'm sure there are certain flaws in your loved ones that you couldn't tolerate. Like, for example... If your bf/gf is always late.. you know that it's not only going to affect your personal timing when meeting him/her, it's going to affect his/her career etc.. sound it out and IMPROVE.
But those little little small flaws like for example, maybe he/she is a little messy (ahem), then it's okay. *whistle*
The same goes for friends.
You can't expect your friend to be 24/7 on standby. Your friend has to get on with his/her life, you have yours. Doesn't mean that your friend doesn't care if he/she can't meet you on that day.
Think of it this way..
Life is your own.
It's yours, and only has you and only concerns you.
No one has any obligations to care about your life. Not even your family, friends etc.
So don't expect anyone to. If you can't take care of yourself, too bad. You don't go blaming other people for your own mistakes. And if you are stuck in a rut, too bad. Life is yours. What do you expect? Other people to live it for you?
Friends, bf/gf, husband/wife, family are only there to walk ALONGSIDE you through your journey. They have no obligations to stay with you throughout either. People come and go.
If you keep having the thought that, "why there are times when i need her, she is not with me? She is my best friend!" if not, "Why can't she meet me?" if not, "why can't she do this do that do this do that?"
What do you think you are doing?
DIY best friend?
You can't control what other people do.. you can control what you are doing. You don't expect everyone to behave the same way as you do and react the same way as you do when the same situation arise. Everybody cares/do/say things differently from each other. Accept it. If you can't, move on.
If you can't move on, thinking that the person does have good sides too, then why the hell are you concentrating on all the bad?
Some people are weird.. up till now, i don't see a need to make a fuss.
Like.. uploading of pictures.
I only took pictures with her BEFORE i used facebook. I don't go uploading every single historical and ancient pictures i have in the facebook. If i were to meet her now and we take pictures, yes, I will upload within one day because facebook is easy to upload pictures. Is there a need to make a huge fuss over it?
Each time I asked her out, she'd last minute tell me, "Oh, i'm sick." and ended up where she went? Her bf's house to have dinner. I don't even dare to count how many times was that. Did i get angry or make noise over it? No. I could have. I chose not to.
This kinda small little stuffs do not have to be blown up like it's the end of the world.
Times when I was with her, spent bloody hell lots of time helping her, messaging her, 24/7 by my phone to reply her messages, did she appreciate it? Does she remember?
No.
But she chose to look at all the times i did not upload my pictures and couldn't meet her.
People, look here.
Everyone has flaws. Everyone is BOUND to do something which is going to make you bloody unhappy.. doesn't mean you go jumping down everyone's throat.
Another example, back in secondary school days, I'd this good friend of mine. I kept lending her money, each day, there goes $4 out of my pocket. Everything we eat, I'd be paying. She'd say, "Can you help me pay first?" and she'd NEVER return. Up to now, not a single cent. I would say the total amount can go up to $500 - $700.
But up till now, before that incident that happened last week, I was still contacting her.
Why?
There was even once, i suspected her of stealing my stuffs (Which is obviously her). + She never return a single cent to me + 80% of the time, she'd last minute on that day MIA when I'm suppose to meet her etc.
I chose to overlook everything because she has a good sides too.
If you want to be pissed over small little things and fuss about stuffs like this, i can assure you.. you'd never find a life-time friend.
Because no one is good enough for you.
And look at yourself.. don't you have flaws too?
I admit, i have flaws. I tend to procastinate. I'm quick tempered. I'm impatient. I'm bossy. I'm competitive.
Does that make me the worst person on earth? Because if you ask anyone who'd crossed path with me... you ask anyone who'd tell you, "I'd been Li Li's friend and she had not done ANYTHING that makes me think she is a nice person."
Because i believe anyone that has crossed path with me will know I always put in effort. I might not have time to meet you doesn't mean I'm ignorant about your stuffs. Times when i helped you.. do you remember a single thing? Do you go, "Thanks!" Do you go, "There are good sides of her too." when we had a tiff? Because I do.
I always overlook stuffs which i can overlook.
Because only that way, i'm a happy person.
So people, morale of the story..
Everyone is special. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has good sides of them. All it takes is to concentrate on the good sides.
Like a vase. One side is cracked, the other side is still intact. You want to throw it away but you find that this vase is hard to come by and you really love it alot. So do you go decorating it on your table with the cracked side facing you? And each time you walk by, you go, "Seriously, the stupid crack.."
Why can't you just turn the good side to you and appreciate the good sides?
Think.
"And this marks THE END of the entry."
9:34 AM
Living a life full of life. That's all about me that you should know.