My Life. My Diary.

It's just so sad

I woke up this morning, feeling so mentally and physically drained. There's this sinking feeling that refuse to go away. And it feels like it is here to stay.

It just feels like I can no longer have the strength to continue fighting against the world.

Human race is doomed.

I feel I'm so surrounded by people who deceives, manipulates and are such absolute sadists. It hurts to know and it hurts even more to know you've to live in them. They can never be true but yet they want others to be true to them. They can never be real but they want real.

The worst part comes when you know you love them and you just want to wake them up from their freaking dream and to stop them from being so oblivious.

But you can't.

So you just have to live in a lie that was never made up by you.

One lie is bad enough.

3 lies is devastating.

I just feel like curling up in one corner and shut myself from the world.

The people living in the world yearns for sun but they'd been living in the darkness.

Blinded from the world with their own lies.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

11:28 AM

Lazy Friday

I had one of the worst gastric pain last night. It got so bad, I almost wanted to bite someone. I was telling myself that if the moment i reached home, it's not getting better, I was going to call an ambulance. I tried all ways and means to make myself feel better from the pain by squatting down, bending, standing but to no avail. If the pain was going up one level, I'm pretty sure I was going to scratch my bf to distract myself.

Never ever again am I going to take so much chili. The pain last night was so terrible, all the symptoms surfaced up. I almost cried from the pain.

Sis replied my email at last! I wrote two such long emails and she only replied in a few words. But nevertheless, I'm glad that she's at least enjoying herself over there.

My dance mates are planning a taiwan trip. My dad is planning another trip at the year end. My brother is suggesting a taipei trip as well. Suddenly, everyone wants to travel. It's as if economic crisis had never existed.

I found out a good way to save money when it comes to economic downturn.

"The only way to save money is not to buy How-To-Save-Money-During-Economic-Crisis or 101-Practical-Ways-To-Earning-Money-During-Economic-Downturn"

Yesterday, after my vocal class, I was taking the bus with Wei Ting. When i board the bus, this old auntie pushed her way pass me and i almost fell down. I seriously don't get it. Why can't people just grow old gracefully. We've to respect elderly, that's for sure. But some of them, really get on my nerves. There was this old man in the mrt actually came to me, tap me on my shoulder and asked me to give my seat to him. Not politely i would say. Freaking hell. Not like I owe him anything. He just gave me that "get lost" gesture and expect me to give him my seat. ok ok. I did. But argh, that's besides the point. However, needless to say, there are elderlys that are really nice and kind. When i give up my seat for them, they were very grateful and would even ask me back to sit when they were alighting.

Anyway, yesterday was my last vocal class. Wei Ting won't be joining us anymore and our class would be merged with another guys class. We took pictures yesterday. Zhilin is going to take forever to upload the pictures. (*cough cough* you and I know the truth, babe)

*stretch*

It's a lazy Friday. I'm falling asleep.

yawn.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

12:50 PM

Where's my coffee

Life without coffee, vinegar, sour food, eggs, soft drinks and spicy food is a torture. It's like taking my entire usual diet off my list. What is life without having to enjoy what you love eating? I've drank so much milk that I feel I'm drinking more than an average baby would drink. The fridge had to be refilled with milk cartons every two days. sigh. it's a bore.

It's really literally, "killing me softly". No joke man. softly and slowly. It's a slow death.

I have a huge temptation to sell my fear street books and goosebumps. It's taking up so much space. Then again, the sentimental streak in me is stopping me from doing so.

My friend was saying I am discouraging him to be a property agent and all i did was telling him how a property agent really is like. There was this time, i was working at a showroom for MiCasa, the new condo at CCK, seriously, if i wasn't working, I'd have scratched the eyeballs out of many property agents. One of this lady who spends half her time there making up, pushed me. Most of them have no respects for their own colleagues and needless to say, other people except to customers. It's like they have these two masks that express, "Happy", "Angry" and they switch between these two masks in a short time span of one second at will.

Property agents.. argh..

You know, sometimes, i think that being dependent on someone is a dangerous thing to do. However, I guess at least for me, once I'm used to someone being there, i would want that someone to be there for the rest of my lifetime.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

12:42 PM

What a day

I miss traveling already. Looking through all my previous blog entries, I came across all the pictures i taken over at Korea and Japan. I miss winter! Frankly speaking, so far, I'd not really visited a country which has the luxury of having 4 seasons that is not winter. Oh yes. Except for China which i went with my mom. Other than the beautiful sceneries, it really has nothing to be remembered for. There were many tiko peks and cheaters. I guess this is what you get when your country is too big. Lack of control over their citizens. Suddenly, secretly taking pictures of people's panties isn't illegal anymore because they have much more important issues to tackle.

But i guess traveling can be quite tiring if you are always in a rush and all. 7 days in Japan was really quite restless for me because it seems in just 7 days, we'd to change hotels a minimum of 3-4 times. Oh, but the best part about Japan is their hot springs! It's super invigorating to be running about outside in the cold with just a swimming suit on. Or if you go to the separate sexes hotsprings, naked. But you don't really feel the cold actually because your body would already have been all warmed after soaking in the hotsprings. The scenery was breathtaking. Especially at night. There was this hotspring in which you are able to look out and see the mountains and at night, the stars are really visible and glowing. The air is fresh and all. I went into the hotsprings closed to 2 hours that my bro and dad thought I went missing.

I wanted to go Switzerland but dad says to wait for uncle to be back for some reason. I've no idea why. And i've no idea which uncle. I've too many uncles overseas.

Everyone around me is getting married. Sis is married. Radz is married. My secondary school mates are getting married. Sandy is married. Dear is wanting to get married next year. Who else. Hmm.. ok, that's besides the point. The point is everyone is getting married! But if i were to get married, I don't like anything grand. I just want something cosy and I must have it musical! Yes yes. I know. All of you have heard of me ranting about it since like donkey years ago. Wedding doesn't have to be special to other people. It's about the couple anyway. So who cares if other people doesn't like it as long as they like it.

I wonder who is up next. After dear... then.. could it be.. Lilin?

I've learned something.

People who said they don't get married so soon are normally the first to get married. I wonder why. But the people who got pinpointed that they'd marry at an early age, are normally the ones who don't get married that fast.

You know, i thought of something.

It's weird how people only learned to appreciate stuffs at the most crucial moment of their life. But i guess it's just human. Because everything had been there since like forever, people think that they'd be there for the rest of the lifetime.

I think I'd made enough entries on appreciating so I shan't elaborate more on this.

I'm so tempted to go shopping.

I should resume to saving money.

I'm going to get a job next year. I can't stand my bank account being stagnant for too long.

Later, people!

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

11:59 AM

The change

I've changed my blog template. I wasn't initiative about it at all, just that I had to. I accidentally deleted the template. If you are using Morzilla, just click on the archives date and the format would be a-okay already.

Zhilin complained that my blog has no pictures. -_- I've no pictures to upload, babe! And she was there saying her blog is more lively with pictures and all. lol. I know. You just want me to upload your JJ's picture eh?

Sis is over at Australia enjoying herself hopping around with kangaroos. I was ranting to her how she is going to leave me in Singapore and all. She got irritated by me after a short while with my constant.. "HOW COULD YOU?!?!"

Oh by the way, the previous entries would be pretty hard to be read because of the colours ya. So if you want to read it... hmm... Why not this.. don't read it.

I was reading through it and I can't believe how stupid i sounded.

Okay, that's about it. Till I've something to rant about again, I shall end here.

"And this marks THE END of the entry."

4:02 PM