We Shall Rise To Meet The Princess. ME.

Rantings of all kinds

2011-12-30T12:03:00.002+08:00

I'm stuck in a rut..

I'm sorry that I have to start a post with the bad news first but i couldn't help it.

Been burying my head into a hole filled with work, school is starting soon again (and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'd complete the term without dropping out halfway - ok, i hope my dad ain't reading this.)..

I can't help hating the state I am in. I know I'd been complaining for the past 5 years or maybe more, but all that ranting would perhaps help to set my mind straight on where i want to go hopefully?

My boss transformed from what seemed like the most wonderful woman in the business industry to the typical tyrannical bitch. (she likes being called a bitch btw.) She's doing a better job than the snake in shedding. Her shedding only took 1 minute. And she's like super emo - one min she'll be scolding and acting like a nutcase.. the next min, she'd be smiling and "Oh my baby is well".

She acted as if I made her pregnant (hence the work that piled up and somehow, all expectations are on me to do it good.) and now, she acts as if I magically made her allergic to the injection in labour room that almost caused her life. Seriously! She was like "I need you to handle this.. I almost lost my life YOU KNOW?!" Hey, big deal. Everybody everywhere else lost their life.. what makes your life so special. hmph. She won't stop picking on things to email. One second, she'd tell you that she needed you to make decisions. The next, once you made the decision, she'd ask why didn't you get her approval. OMG. is she sick in her mind? Like some maggots had dug their way through into her brain and stayed there to feast on her rotten brain?

Oh, let me tell you my favourite part...

"I've been trying to be active, still doing work at home...." - her msg to me.

erm.. okay... how touching.. but...

WHAT WORK?!

I hope she don't mean all that reminder emails that I could do without.

She disallow me taking MC, leaves..

She was like, "What if someone needs something?!"

She made me work like a mad dog just so "marketing dept is very efficient". and my pay seriously don't justify for the work i do.

ARGH.. she makes my blood boil. It's boiling so much, it's evaporating.

Counselling centre just called.. oh ya, which reminds me...

I told her that I'm going through counselling and she was like:

"Counselling can't help you... You were doing so good managing so many brands before, but why recently you've this HUGE MENTAL BLOCK which only you can unblock it.."

My huge mental block is her freaking presence!

I can't go lunch too early, can't go lunch too late, can't take mc, can't take leave, can't leave earlier, have to use my own time to go outlet visits which is a waste of my time in my opinion.. because her reason for me to go visit outlet is that "have to find out things that gone wrong before bosses do." which seriously, i couldn't be bothered. it's their business and profits, not mine. At the end of the day, my pay STILL does not justify for the travelling.

Even wading in a pool of mud with rotten strawberries is a better experience than coming to work.

"Hi Li Li, i need this."

"Hi Li Li, we've ran out of this."

"Hi Li Li, this customer wants this."

"Hi Li Li, this customer cannot do this.."

Phone keep ringing and when it don't pick it up, my hp starts ringing. it's like a ring ring day for me EVERYDAY!

The outlets are getting smarter... now, they no longer use their outlet phones to call me.. they use their HPs!

Can someone tell me... how am i responsible for making my boss pregnant and almost losing her life in the labour room? Because now.. it feels like I purposely get her husband to go into bed with her, causing her pregnant, and waved my magic wand in the labour room just so she can suddenly have a bad reaction which should by right make her lose her life but failed.

While i'm typing this.. my colleague walked by and say "What's with that giraffe look" - i think he meant this "freaking sian look"

sigh. okay. im going out for lunch now.

joy.

Enlightened

2011-11-06T19:46:00.002+08:00

Suddenly, i miss the moments of serenity and tranquility.

I think that people take life too seriously. Just look at how many people runs up the escalator daily chasing after the train.

Coming back from Bangkok, i feel that life over there is so much more real. People are fighting for survival. Fighting for their rights. Yet in Singapore, we are constantly worried about stuffs like, "Oh no, I need to buy that dress.", "Should I switch jobs?"

Because in Bangkok, it's simple over there. People fight, live and be happy.

I miss Bangkok. :(

Sigh, i think i'm stuck in my job for too long. (please don't start that "you call that long?" with me. It's subjective.) I hate feeling stressed over stupid things.. Seriously.. I find things that bosses rush sometimes are damn stupid. Lighten up! No one dies if we launch a day later than the intended date!

My little bingo isn't so little anymore.. grown up to be a medium sized dog. Panting (and salivating) like nobody business. Barking and getting more nuts.

I don't get it. I got him neutered but he is even more active than before! Is that even normal?

He had been jumping up and down, rolling around and climbing everywhere his feet can bring him to just to lick my face.

Ernest is playing Dead Island beside me now... it's funny how his head always turn with the character's head. LOL! And when his character get hits, you should see how Ernest literally darts from the TV.

That's so funny.

I should film it down sometime.

Sigh

2011-04-14T16:37:00.003+08:00

My favourite reply now is, "It's okay, not important"

It's really not done on purpose but really, I'd voiced out too many times that I felt I am pushing too hard at what I deemed as important which clearly, the other party doesn't feel so. So, seriously, why make it a priority?

I came in office late today and i bumped into my HR manager at the corridor.

Then i came back office late today from lunch and i bumped into my boss OUTSIDE HER office.

This has gotta be my 'darkest' day.

Oh yes, i forgot. my darkest day was when my iphone cracked and I had to pay 350 for it.

Bingo bingo.. stop scratching and jumping on daddy and mummy like we are your curtains aka scratching post can?!

Someone please help me.

2011-04-13T10:20:00.002+08:00

Here i am with another blog post. Nothing extraordinary had happened to me as of yet but somehow, I just feel that I barely made out alive from the past few days tornado. People often have the impression that when I'm all equipped with smiles, it's okay to give a little poke and push their luck. What they do not know is that behind all the smiles, lay a thousand knives. Wait a minute. I think i just did a translation from chinese. My Lenovo is utterly useless. I can't type chinese. And a stupid IT woman said I can't open up to more than five windows which would cause a lag in the computer. Hello? I do designs? How can I not have more than five programs open? Some people just have a hole in their brains, not surprisingly I might add. Bingo my little boy has grown to be a little longer, a little more brown, a little more jumpy (literally), a little more scratchy (of anyone including himself) and a little more bitey. He is biting and snapping like a shark now. Not to forget, his teeth are sharp like razors. He aimed for daddy's face last night. It's so scary. Like a little alien snapping away at your face. I managed to teach him 'sit' last night but two things i hope for is that one, he'd remember past last night and second, he'd stop raising his paw like the fortune cat the moment he sit. Bingo, you have absolutely no idea who your parents are don't you. You lucky boy. You'd probably be in shackles right now if you are adopted by other parents. I feel indifferent at work. I just drag, click, enter, type and squint my eyes for 9 hours everyday while listening to the aunties in market in action. Suddenly, I just want to laugh when i recall what i hear from miss loud in front of me yesterday. Miss Loud: yes? Mandarin oriental is it? Guy from the next line (i know because i was the one who transferred the call): blah blah Miss Loud: I know i know. I tell you ah, i call you back later ok? can anot? ok hor? Guy: blah blah Miss Loud: Ah, okay ah? thank you ah! byebye! Frankly speaking, if I'm her boss, my head would be buried into my hands right now and I'd probably hide under my desk. She makes fine wine feels like third grade wine. Why does she talk like a freaking coffee shop auntie?! And did i mention? she use, "Whatever, fine" to our clients. What a smart ass. And what did she say? She said she is leaving because she deserve more pay. *roll eyes a thousand times* excuse me? From the rate our clients stop calling after talking to her, i think she ought to pay her salary x 100 back to the company. The most hilarious comment she ever made: The company would never find another person like me. yeah. The company jolly well should change their interviewer if they still hire someone like her. They should just ask me to start designing a poster for "Closing down sales". Another auntie came to me yesterday. Auntie1: can you help me design poster? Me: Can. What poster. Auntie1: I want A4 size one ah. Me: Huh? You want poster or A4 size? Auntie1: A4 size.. Me: ?!?! okay... -___- Auntie1: I want all four bottles in one paper okay. you think can squeeze in the notes with bottles anot? Me: ya can Auntie1: Really meh? I don't think can. Me: I squeezed 10 bottles in one A4 size before. Can. Auntie1: Oh, i give you some examples ah. *hand me some papers* Me: ok. Auntie1: Mine no rush hor. THURSDAY can?! I think the people here have misconceptions aobut NO RUSH. My NO RUSH is one week in advance. Their NO RUSH is one to two days deadline. what the bloody hell. Can someone tell me why am i forever stuck in a work environment like this? Is it really me or am I just cursed?

My latest update

2011-04-08T14:41:00.003+08:00

This blog is almost a forgotten tourist site and therefore, I shall start posting again. Not because I want to gain another one or two more traffic in my blog but I really was too lazy/busy the blog due to the existance of my iphone which has a beautiful spider cobweb design embedded on it's screen now. I'm currently working in a food and wine distribution company at Boon Lay in the aspect of Marcom. However, i feel so much like a graphic designer that I think they should just change my job title. Everyone thinks I'm a 16 legged spider (8 legs aren't enough for them), they keep giving me last minute artworks to be completed though it's stated in the SOP (Ironically sent by my "indirect boss" who gave me less than 8 hours to complete her artwork) that they need to give me all the images etc 2 weeks before deadline. Funny how the company always want money but refuse to invest money because Microsoft 2000 was installed in my laptop (a bulky uncle laptop) and I had to complain to get it upgraded because I can't open the latest file. I think the IT people hate me because I'm such a regular customer of theirs'. I have a lady who likes to murmur and talk to herself. You don't know when she is talking to you because she just keeps talking. And did i mention, she complain and relate to about everything that is happening in the office and her private life. I think some of the people hates me for some reason. They always give me the weird look when i walk pass and they don't dare to sit near me in the canteen. I was told it might be because I am directly under the big boss. But.. really.. wtf? I didn't even talk to them before? So unfair but who cares. I don't need to lunch with them anyway. I am heading down to Singtel at Somerset later. I wonder which idiot planned for the retail servicing for Iphone to be only situated at that stupid centre. I have a little puppy in my house now. To be more specific, a brown and black little puppy who loves whining in my studyroom. After my brother put up the playpen, he seemed to forget all about his potty training. I'm contemplating whether to put him in my room. He sinks his teeth into everything he can get hold of especially my feet and hands. Given an option of a chewy treat and my feet, he'd choose my feet at any given time of the day. "yum yum, mummy feet nice!" I bought so many toys for him, but seem to be of no avail. I got him a trainer too. I just hope he'd grow up to be a really gentle and yet loyal friend of mine. Oh yes, he loves standing on his hind legs for the weirdest reason. I'd not seen any dogs do that much. For mine, it's like he is only taught to use his hind legs to walk. Oh geez.. work time.

2010-05-18T09:52:00.003+08:00

Why is it that when I'm always trying my best, there is bound to be people to messing things up.

Stop giving me a reason to give up.

Give me the reason to stay.

2010-05-17T17:00:00.002+08:00

I don't believe that i have the capabilities to change the world.

But at the least, I have faith in my capabilities in doing whatever i can to initiate that change.

If i can't initiate that change, I'd just have to make do with whatever i have.

Just do not complain that I gave up when you don't budge.

I love you.. but i ain't super-woman.

Either we fight the battle together or we look at each other battle with flaws that we couldn't pin point it out to each other.

2010-04-21T00:25:00.002+08:00

For every breath i take, as long as I'm still breathing, I'd keep fighting for my destination.

No matter what the past may be, what the future has installed for me, my present will make a difference. Since I can't do anything about my past anymore, I just have to make do with whatever I've got now.

Im sure whatever that is ahead of me is worth all the efforts put in.

Just hold on tight, Li Li.

You are in for a ride.

2010-04-05T13:49:00.003+08:00

Having you is the best comfort anyone could have

However, it takes strength to keep you with me.

I miss the comfort.

But just for how long can i stay on to enjoy this comfort?

Just how long can i live in a lie?

Perhaps, maybe, most likely.. just how much time do i have to know the answer i seek?

Same old same old

2009-11-25T17:33:00.003+08:00

I'd been feeling unwell recently. It feels as if my upper and lower part of my body aren't connected. Hold on a minute. They are. My legs, arms, back and head are so connected that the moment one of it is in pain, the other would react to it with even more pain.

I'm still in the middle of my search for the perfect job: Marketing Executive + Good location + Good pay + Challenging job scope = BLOODY HARD TO FIND

You know what's the problem with society?

Take the below requirement as an example:

1. Minimum Diploma in Marketing or related courses.
2. Enjoy meeting people, enthusiastic and adaptable to changes.
3. Self-driven, persistent and self-motivated

And just when you think you have everything that the requirements had stated, then here comes the last sentence:
4. At least 2 years of experience in Marketing for a reputable company.

Companies want talents with experience but few or no companies are willing to train talents.

Absurd isn't it?

Apparently, employers do not know the downside of having "experienced" talents.

1. Some are rigid to changes because of years in their former company which includes company's culture etc.
2. Fresh bloods bring more ideas, some old birds are stuck in a cage filled with their usual old ideas. (This is of course, subjective.)

Well of course, there are more, but that's not the point. I'm not saying it's wrong for wanting talents who are experienced but i feel new talents should be given a chance to prove themselves!

Anyway, the weather is pms-ing like nobodies business. Can you imagine those poor things suntanning in Sentosa and all of a sudden, it all starts to rain?

And they'd be drenched there asking..

"Where did all the sun go?"

I'm going Taiwan soon for 8 days. I looked at the itinerary and to my dismay, none of our hotels have hot springs. What a spoiler.

Every hotel rooms should have a bath-tub! Seriously! And a balcony would be delightful.

But as per usual, my diet are restricted to healthy food.. all thanks to my caring bf who snatch every green chili, vinegar, spicy food from my hands and... gobble it all down his gullet.. in front of me...

Thanks baby.

I love you.

I'll love you even more if you can give me just one more green chili for my hor-fun next time.

*flash a big smile*

Random random

2009-11-10T01:25:00.003+08:00

Though I'm going through tough times, I'm really grateful i have such wonderful sister to go through it with me, listening to me complain and rant etc. also, a good listener, meowy lin who would ask me out whenever she is on leave as well as buddy, though i don't meet up as much with you as before, but we are still buddies. BFF, who'd call me up whenever he've no one else to date (HA!). Stella, who at least remember to email and update me. Zhilin and Fei Hui lao shi who had been very patient and they always makes me laugh. Also, I've a really supportive and loving bf who is always there for me 24/7 taking away the fact that a few hours of his time, he is beyond contact as he'd be pigging away. Thank you for sharing your joy and tough times with me which makes me feel special.

And i'm sorry people, still no pictures! It can't be helped. My bf doesn't like taking pictures. *cough*

I need a new watch, however, i kinda used up whatever that is within my planned budget for the month. I know it sounds stupid but I'm wearing a watch that isn't ticking. At least my wrist doesn't seem empty. I know i know. It really doesn't make me pathetic alright. Don't have to sympathize me. I'm cool with it. I still can look at the time from my handphone.

I miss my heels. It's the only thing that makes me feel feminine.

However, my back and leg hurts again.

What time is it again? 1.38am.

geez..

I guess it's time to sleep... *yawn*

Later, people.

2009-11-03T11:59:00.002+08:00

I feel lethargic.

Suddenly, I felt that my past was a big fat lie.

As much as i do not want to be affected by those people, somehow, it's disturbing to know people are spreading things and talking about things that are totally absurd and untrue about you.

I guess it's easier to just absorb and pass on to other people of what had been heard rather than to think about it. I guess it takes a very important organ to get functioning which is the brain. People loves the thrill of listening to stories of people they know and then passing it on to other people thinking they know everything. It's funny that all of that had been happening and is still happening when all these while, i'd been genuinely sincere thinking that everyone is nice. what naive thoughts. Just when you think everyone is nice, they go around bitching about you.

I shouldn't have even step into that school. Should have just land my butt in Chestnut and just get it over and done with instead of going through all that nonsensical shit.

It's hilarious listening to stories which had never happened before.

"Oh! Li Li has got a boyfriend!"

"Oh! Li Li is a flirt!"

"Li Li is a bitch!"

And the funniest part is I spoke to them in less than 5 occasions.

Biggest mistake is entering that stupid school. Entering that stupid class. Mixing around with the wrong people. Believing in all their crap lies to get myself stabbed in the back. Helping people whom i shouldn't have. Getting myself into relationships after relationships just to get over a stupid past.

Those cowards who do not have the guts to come up to my face and confront me but go behind my back and bitch about me.

Probably gets the thrill out of making a drama of my life.

And thinking they have the latest news, they go around spreading to more people.

I've to admit.

It's discouraging..

and come to think of it... pretty much hilarious..

to have people come telling you how was your life like when you are living your life.

people.. what kinda nonsense are you trying to get at..

It's just so sad

2009-10-26T11:28:00.002+08:00

I woke up this morning, feeling so mentally and physically drained. There's this sinking feeling that refuse to go away. And it feels like it is here to stay.

It just feels like I can no longer have the strength to continue fighting against the world.

Human race is doomed.

I feel I'm so surrounded by people who deceives, manipulates and are such absolute sadists. It hurts to know and it hurts even more to know you've to live in them. They can never be true but yet they want others to be true to them. They can never be real but they want real.

The worst part comes when you know you love them and you just want to wake them up from their freaking dream and to stop them from being so oblivious.

But you can't.

So you just have to live in a lie that was never made up by you.

One lie is bad enough.

3 lies is devastating.

I just feel like curling up in one corner and shut myself from the world.

The people living in the world yearns for sun but they'd been living in the darkness.

Blinded from the world with their own lies.

Lazy Friday

2009-10-16T12:50:00.005+08:00

I had one of the worst gastric pain last night. It got so bad, I almost wanted to bite someone. I was telling myself that if the moment i reached home, it's not getting better, I was going to call an ambulance. I tried all ways and means to make myself feel better from the pain by squatting down, bending, standing but to no avail. If the pain was going up one level, I'm pretty sure I was going to scratch my bf to distract myself.

Never ever again am I going to take so much chili. The pain last night was so terrible, all the symptoms surfaced up. I almost cried from the pain.

Sis replied my email at last! I wrote two such long emails and she only replied in a few words. But nevertheless, I'm glad that she's at least enjoying herself over there.

My dance mates are planning a taiwan trip. My dad is planning another trip at the year end. My brother is suggesting a taipei trip as well. Suddenly, everyone wants to travel. It's as if economic crisis had never existed.

I found out a good way to save money when it comes to economic downturn.

"The only way to save money is not to buy How-To-Save-Money-During-Economic-Crisis or 101-Practical-Ways-To-Earning-Money-During-Economic-Downturn"

Yesterday, after my vocal class, I was taking the bus with Wei Ting. When i board the bus, this old auntie pushed her way pass me and i almost fell down. I seriously don't get it. Why can't people just grow old gracefully. We've to respect elderly, that's for sure. But some of them, really get on my nerves. There was this old man in the mrt actually came to me, tap me on my shoulder and asked me to give my seat to him. Not politely i would say. Freaking hell. Not like I owe him anything. He just gave me that "get lost" gesture and expect me to give him my seat. ok ok. I did. But argh, that's besides the point. However, needless to say, there are elderlys that are really nice and kind. When i give up my seat for them, they were very grateful and would even ask me back to sit when they were alighting.

Anyway, yesterday was my last vocal class. Wei Ting won't be joining us anymore and our class would be merged with another guys class. We took pictures yesterday. Zhilin is going to take forever to upload the pictures. (*cough cough* you and I know the truth, babe)

*stretch*

It's a lazy Friday. I'm falling asleep.

yawn.

Where's my coffee

2009-10-15T12:42:00.002+08:00

Life without coffee, vinegar, sour food, eggs, soft drinks and spicy food is a torture. It's like taking my entire usual diet off my list. What is life without having to enjoy what you love eating? I've drank so much milk that I feel I'm drinking more than an average baby would drink. The fridge had to be refilled with milk cartons every two days. sigh. it's a bore.

It's really literally, "killing me softly". No joke man. softly and slowly. It's a slow death.

I have a huge temptation to sell my fear street books and goosebumps. It's taking up so much space. Then again, the sentimental streak in me is stopping me from doing so.

My friend was saying I am discouraging him to be a property agent and all i did was telling him how a property agent really is like. There was this time, i was working at a showroom for MiCasa, the new condo at CCK, seriously, if i wasn't working, I'd have scratched the eyeballs out of many property agents. One of this lady who spends half her time there making up, pushed me. Most of them have no respects for their own colleagues and needless to say, other people except to customers. It's like they have these two masks that express, "Happy", "Angry" and they switch between these two masks in a short time span of one second at will.

Property agents.. argh..

You know, sometimes, i think that being dependent on someone is a dangerous thing to do. However, I guess at least for me, once I'm used to someone being there, i would want that someone to be there for the rest of my lifetime.

What a day

2009-10-14T11:59:00.002+08:00

I miss traveling already. Looking through all my previous blog entries, I came across all the pictures i taken over at Korea and Japan. I miss winter! Frankly speaking, so far, I'd not really visited a country which has the luxury of having 4 seasons that is not winter. Oh yes. Except for China which i went with my mom. Other than the beautiful sceneries, it really has nothing to be remembered for. There were many tiko peks and cheaters. I guess this is what you get when your country is too big. Lack of control over their citizens. Suddenly, secretly taking pictures of people's panties isn't illegal anymore because they have much more important issues to tackle.

But i guess traveling can be quite tiring if you are always in a rush and all. 7 days in Japan was really quite restless for me because it seems in just 7 days, we'd to change hotels a minimum of 3-4 times. Oh, but the best part about Japan is their hot springs! It's super invigorating to be running about outside in the cold with just a swimming suit on. Or if you go to the separate sexes hotsprings, naked. But you don't really feel the cold actually because your body would already have been all warmed after soaking in the hotsprings. The scenery was breathtaking. Especially at night. There was this hotspring in which you are able to look out and see the mountains and at night, the stars are really visible and glowing. The air is fresh and all. I went into the hotsprings closed to 2 hours that my bro and dad thought I went missing.

I wanted to go Switzerland but dad says to wait for uncle to be back for some reason. I've no idea why. And i've no idea which uncle. I've too many uncles overseas.

Everyone around me is getting married. Sis is married. Radz is married. My secondary school mates are getting married. Sandy is married. Dear is wanting to get married next year. Who else. Hmm.. ok, that's besides the point. The point is everyone is getting married! But if i were to get married, I don't like anything grand. I just want something cosy and I must have it musical! Yes yes. I know. All of you have heard of me ranting about it since like donkey years ago. Wedding doesn't have to be special to other people. It's about the couple anyway. So who cares if other people doesn't like it as long as they like it.

I wonder who is up next. After dear... then.. could it be.. Lilin?

I've learned something.

People who said they don't get married so soon are normally the first to get married. I wonder why. But the people who got pinpointed that they'd marry at an early age, are normally the ones who don't get married that fast.

You know, i thought of something.

It's weird how people only learned to appreciate stuffs at the most crucial moment of their life. But i guess it's just human. Because everything had been there since like forever, people think that they'd be there for the rest of the lifetime.

I think I'd made enough entries on appreciating so I shan't elaborate more on this.

I'm so tempted to go shopping.

I should resume to saving money.

I'm going to get a job next year. I can't stand my bank account being stagnant for too long.

Later, people!

The change

2009-10-13T16:02:00.003+08:00

I've changed my blog template. I wasn't initiative about it at all, just that I had to. I accidentally deleted the template. If you are using Morzilla, just click on the archives date and the format would be a-okay already.

Zhilin complained that my blog has no pictures. -_- I've no pictures to upload, babe! And she was there saying her blog is more lively with pictures and all. lol. I know. You just want me to upload your JJ's picture eh?

Sis is over at Australia enjoying herself hopping around with kangaroos. I was ranting to her how she is going to leave me in Singapore and all. She got irritated by me after a short while with my constant.. "HOW COULD YOU?!?!"

Oh by the way, the previous entries would be pretty hard to be read because of the colours ya. So if you want to read it... hmm... Why not this.. don't read it.

I was reading through it and I can't believe how stupid i sounded.

Okay, that's about it. Till I've something to rant about again, I shall end here.

I miss you

2009-09-29T01:21:00.003+08:00

Each time a natural disaster hits Manila, my heart would skip a beat.

There are nights, I spent a couple of hours up, allowing those flashbacks to play in my mind like a movie playing in a wide screen on repeat mode.

It's amazing how someone can make such a great impact in my life and the greatest impact only comes when the person left.

Just when i was worried about the person's safety because of the recent flood in Manila, my bf's mother wanted to watch the dance dvd and the first music that was played was, "A time for us"

I'd not deny.

The moment the music was played, the flashbacks start coming back again and i almost teared.

This song is so memorable because...

The first gift from that special someone was a teddy bear wearing a red hat and a red dress.

When you press the teddy bear's paw, the room would be filled with this melody.

The last I heard of her.. was that she named her little baby girl, Christine. The name that i suggested for her baby. I never knew she would take it seriously because I was only in primary school and I was just joking about the names of both her bf and her. I was saying that they could name their child, Christine, because her bf's name is, "Christopher" and her name is "Lanie."

Sometimes.. I really do miss her.

Auntie.. where are you...

A fine day indeed

2009-09-27T10:53:00.005+08:00

Today is the day that I feel like lying in a hammock under the cloudy sky with gentle breeze and sound of the waves. hmm! What a blissful escape from reality. =) With "La Bamba" playing now, I feel at peace already! I was actually looking for the title of the song but alas! Found it! Accidentally i may add. Someone in heaven wants to bring me a little joy out of this terrible week.

However, I'm not going to spend the day fantasizing about my unrealistic getaways. Today, I'd be hitting the town with babe. woo hoo! Waiting for my bf to get his ass back in Singapore as well.

There are a number of things I would like to do before the year end or it could be carried forward to year 2010. Here are the lists in no particular order:

1. Visit the Zoo & Night Safari
2. Finish up my partially completed composed song
3. Come up with a study schedule for the day-time
4. Get a part-time job preferably in a book/Music retail shop. (I've talent for recognizing strangers in one glance. I wonder why. Perhaps I observe too much of my environment.)
5. Learn the guitar
6. Camp at the beach for one night
7. Go on an overseas trip
8. Get back to volunteering
9. Make sure my students ace in their exams (you read this right, the 2 of you.)
10. Brush up on my vocabularies for English and Chinese.
11. Get rid of unimportant people in my life esp those kpos. Wait a minute. They are not even an inch into my life. pfft!

I'm in a pretty good mood today. Weather is good, I'm going out to shop and my bf is coming back. good good.

However some bimbo a.k.a. coward (not a good looking one in fact) is bitching behind my back (like wtf?) and cursing about how my r/s won't work out and that it's only a temporary fixture.

Goodie!

Now i have an old lady wearing skimpy clothes gossiping about me! How thrilling!

Let me recall what she said again..

hmm..

Oh yes. She said "I don't care whether she is my friend."

Let me think..

If she really don't care, why the hell is she bitching about me to my close friend? Manipulative bitch. Please. The old book had been updated. Your tricks aren't working anymore. Trying to be the love consultant to get on the good sides of people just to cuff your bf to your side? Oh my. You mean you've trouble in your own r/s already? And there you are cursing my r/s? hmm. Yes. Sounds pretty mature to me.

Well, let me tell you something..

First of all, your old book tricks ain't going to work. Second of all, I'd very much like to know.. do you have a habit of bitching about people who you don't care about as per what you claimed? Third of all, if you can't keep your bf at your sight, get my close friend out of your freaking problem because he isn't your pet or spy. Lastly.. erm..

what's your name again?

If you think your outings with me for just 5 times or less can conclude your judgements of me.. hmm.. I don't know... I don't have a habit of pleasing people or to change because of what people say of me. So, well, I don't know what how i'd portrayed myself to give you that impression of me, but, hell with it, you ain't my bf. (Thank God. I'd pay 10000 pounds just to hire someone to curse my r/s to fail given that if you were a guy and you were my bf)

I admit I don't get really get along well with ladies. But i'm cool with it. It's okay.

I have my couple of close lady friends who I click well with and who are of certain degree of elegance and maturity (And i don't mean just by appearence). Your bf is rich doesn't make you rich. So stop being snobbish about it. Why not you stick your nose in your own relationship and open your eyes bigger. We'll see who gets the last laugh at the end of the day.

WOO HOO!!

I don't normally do this, friends. But... I don't know. I rather be open about this than to bitch behind her.

I won't announce your name. So.. please.. don't embarrass yourself and come to announce it ok. I don't wish to get involve in a public argument with you and most certainly, wait..

why were you looking at my bf's profile again? Oh my. Are you really THAT desperate to know about what's going on in my life?

oh well.

But thank you for complimenting on my bf.

You can take your leave now.

Where was I again?

Oh yes..

Beautiful day.

I'm sorry, I can't be perfect

2009-09-22T00:12:00.001+08:00

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
'Cuz it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spend with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Random

2009-09-17T02:01:00.005+08:00

Been a long time since i last blogged again. I have people asking me to update my blog so here comes this new entry. (Thank goodness I type pretty fast, if not, I probably would end up typing random stuffs because I would be thinking more than I'm typing. ANYWAY..)

I just completed my dance performance, yes. I wasn't doing an act as a role of prostitute (hoo ha, surprise! *roll eyes*). I didn't go for a make-over (like with other 14 girls?). And I most certainly wasn't dressing up for fun. It was quite an accomplishment judging by all the effort all of us put into the rehearsals and all, not forgetting the part where I went down to Arab street for a minimum of 7 times. (Yes, I'd ranted about this and I'm still going to rant about this.) And I give thanks to all who were there for me to watch my performances. It means a lot to me.

I must have screamed too much on that day because I ran out of voice already. Why i screamed? Let me recall. The moment we finished our last performance, we stepped into the lift. The moment the lift door closed, we were all jumping about in the lift and exclaiming in joy.

My phone finally died on me. It finally did it. And guess what. This time, I'm not going to bring it to phonspital anymore because they are going to give me crap reasons, ask me to wait and I, refuse to go through that hassle anymore. (Actually, it's because my phone isn't under warranty anymore.)

Suddenly, I've cravings for durian cake. I like the small durian cake from 717 Trading at Bukit Panjang Plaza. yummy. I've cravings for Gyu Kaku too. Oh no. So many things to eat, so little time and money.

I want to learn salsa. I want to learn Jazz Ballet. I want to learn jazz. I want to go cycling at the beach. I want to watch the sunset. I want to go jogging. I want to watch "The Ugly Truth". I need new clothes. I'm going to throw away the old ones but I'm too sentimental to do that. That's probably why my dad says I'm the rubbish collector because i refuse to throw away anything. My room is my own crime lab.

I'm going into tutoring again. Sometimes, the kids just say adorable things that make you smile. Sometimes, the kids would just make you ponder what do they really learn in school.

I wish to let go of the past but the people involved have to let it go first.

I want a stop to all that crap and nonsense.

They know nothing.

They all wish to paint a fantasy which involves a prostitute and the guy-next-door.

I've no idea why. Probably they need something to talk about and spice up their boring mundane life.

Go get "Goosebumps".

It allows you to read, let your imaginations go wild, and then flip to the pages in which will determine the ending you want.

For your information, I'm not anyone's "Goosebumps".

You might have been paving alternatives and sending devils to lead me to the wrong routes years back, but not anymore.

Stating uncertain and unreliable sources of what you think is true is bad enough. Re-using it years later is worse. In Psychology Research, you are only able to use sources that are maximum 5 years back. Look, 5 years is over.

Get your facts right.

The girl all of you were spreading rumours about probably did exist...

Either in Geylang or in other walks of life.

Definitely not the one sitting here typing down her own story because no one knows it better than i do.

And i most certainly feel I do not have the need to tell everyone my story to ease those rumours because, hey.. who are you?

The little green man?

HA!

Random random random.

I still miss my durian cake. Actually, ice cream ain't that bad either.

I know for the next sentence.. i'd have people coming up to me and wish they can kick me. Mostly ladies.

But I will say whatever that makes me happy.

.....

I think I'm growing fatter.

Joy

2009-08-18T01:39:00.004+08:00

Been a while since i last blogged.

Perhaps the best words are meant to be left unsaid and more often than not, the most meaningful ones are the ones you see from the eyes.

I'd been going through hectic days. Sometimes, things got so stressed up, i find myself spacing out even when someone is talking. I know, it isn't a good thing. I'm trying to make it look as natural as possible which is obviously... not very possible. Anyway! I made it a point to chant to myself at least five times a day to my principle in life.

"Do your best at all times. So even if things doesn't work out, looking back, you know you'd done your best and nothing could have changed where you are standing now."

I told myself that since I'm already in this shit, i might as well make the best out of it. Doesn't matter where I am or what I do as long as I do my best.

I tell myself each day to be appreciative of everything I've got and thankful for all the challenges set forth to me.

Still, let's face it, I'm stress.

I'm so looking forward to the end of this week which will mark the end of my stress period and the beginning of a beautiful chapter in life.

Joy!

Love

2009-07-01T11:18:00.004+08:00

Being in a relationship is a commitment between two individuals to walk down the two paths which had been merged into one towards the future, hand in hand, through ups and downs, to be there for each other when one falls.

There would be no sacrifice because all that has been given up would be something worth while and bigger than the present. When you are in a relationship and are truly in love, you'd see that no sacrifices are too big for the future.

Because all you are doing now is throwing out what you think are "big golds" for the "smaller golds" in a sinking ship till you realize, when you are on land, the "smaller golds" are worth more than the "big golds"

Being in a relationship is more than holding hands, meeting up as many times as possible, going for movies or anything physical. Because if you only feel that you are in a relationship because of physical interaction, that's superficial.

Being in love and in a relationship is simply, "the distance of the hearts"

However, it is not as simple as saying, "I love you and you love me too".

All of us know, actions speaks louder than words.

To complain, "We don't meet up as much as before, you no longer love me" makes relationship superficial. However, if an individual prefers to have his own time all the time, then, the love is in question.

Holding hands is not everything in a relationship. Neither is hugging. However, it is proven that physical interaction heals the heart. Partners should be holding hands when there's love and not the other way round.

In a relationship, both partners should be supportive of each other.

Like i always advice my friends..

"If you know the art of communication, the art of solving problems in the most effective way, any quarrels will only last 5 minutes compared to cold war for 5 days"

Both parties should unselfishly understand each other and compromise a solution which may not be totally what they want but at least, it does not go over the limit.

Compromising is just as simple as distributing notes and 5 cents coins.

Both parties should have equal share of notes and 5 cent coins.

Notes are seemingly beneficial and obviously, useful. However, people tends to belittle 5 cent coins.

And at the end of the day, when both party compromises, they'd realize they end up with less notes and more 5 cent coins or equal number of notes and 5 cent coins when they actually asked for all notes.

However, they do not know at the end of the route, it's the 5 cent coins that is going to collate and turn out to be of greater good.

The 5 cent coins are the ones that are going to teach every individual how to appreciate.

Differences is acceptable.

Have it ever occur to you people, why is it that the more you dislike something, the more it'd appear in your life?

"I detest arrogant people"

And you are attached to one.

"I detest geeks"

And you are attached to one.

"I hate sales job"

And you are working as salesman.

Why?

It's a lesson in life you should learn which is to appreciate and accept.

The more you can't stand something, the more it'd come to you.

If you choose to give up, there'd be two routes ahead.

One: you'd feel guilt for a long period of time
Two: The next person/job/situation that comes up will force you to appreciate and accept it.

Take a look at me.

I've plenty of examples.

I hate sales. And i landed a job in sales.

I detest JC/Uni students because I find them overly competitive and arrogant and I'm attached to one.

I made this statement, "I'd never wear contact lenses ever!"

And i wear it practically everywhere I go now.

I said, "I'd never wear skimpy clothes! They might as well don't wear anything!"

And i wear even skimpier.

There are certain situations that forced me to appreciate and accept the way people are. Because it's either that, or I'm stuck in a well. Meaning, I've lived for nothing.

Because the beauty of humans is that we learn and we improve.

How can we improve when we are always stuck in our own well and not see things from other peoples' point of view and accept people for who they are?

Every individuals are different and that's what make them your friends/gf/bf/whoever they are.

Because you are attracted to their differences!

They are able to do things you never thought you'd do.

They are able to say things you never thought you'd dare to say

They are able to act on things that you never thought is appropriate

That's how you learn!

If you are constantly surrounded by people who are similar to you, you'd never learn and move and you'd forever be stuck in your comfort zone.

You can complain your gf/bf's temper is bad.

You can complain your friend's judgment is bad.

You can complain your friend's clothes taste is bad.

You can complain your gf/bf's way of living is weird.

But so what?

It only proves one thing.

YOUR JUDGMENT IS BAD!

Because YOU CHOSE THEM TO BE YOUR CLOSED ONES!

Why are you complaining about your own judgments and decisions?

And so what are you going to say?

"It's just my luck."

Wait till you see the next person you are going to land with.

Until you learn to accept the way people are, the way people do things, the way people handle things, you'd forever be stuck in that vicious cycle.

You complain to your friends that your gf is not caring enough.

You complain to your family your bf is not sensitive enough

You complain to your brother that your gf is not understanding enough

You complain to your sister that your bf is not attentive enough.

You are actually criticizing your own judgment.

And if anyone complain on their closed ones unreasonably, I'd ask,

"So why did you choose to be with him/her?"

Then they'd reply, "But well... He/she has this as well etc etc"

Then I'd reply, "So why are you focusing on the down sides of her/him?"

I'm not asking anyone to forgo the bad of anyone because it'd surface. But all I'm asking for everyone is to learn to appreciate every other individual, be it good traits, bad traits etc because that is why make that person for who he/she is!

We don't change anyone but we seek for improvement.

However, when one party choose to give up and walk a separate path from the other...

It's nobodies fault.

It's just... the love is not strong enough.

Unconditional Love do exist.

And I've witness it.

To forgive, forget and accept your loved ones for who they are.

Because that's what makes them special.

2009-06-30T17:02:00.003+08:00

I was determine not to shop anymore.

I was at Orchard earlier on and after taking stuffs back from Justin which my bf and I left in the chalet, i decided to do some window shopping since it makes no sense to take a one and a half hour ride to Orchard just to spend 5 minutes there.

I was at Heeren.

So I went up the escalator and went in one of the shop.

My fingers ran through all the shirts and pants etc...

I tried very hard to control myself and I kept mumbling, "Not worth it for me to spend money on.."

Until... I saw this.. beautiful.. pink and purple halter neck dress...

It's a halter neck dress... half pink, half purple, and it's very beautifully designed..

I've to touch it.....

My hands drew on closer to the dress and i felt the material...

And the next thing i touched was the price tag...

$69.70...

I forced myself to tear my glare away from the dress..

I knew i had to get away from Orchard.

So here i am back safe at home.

Not before I went to buy KoKo Crunch, cookies and instant bee hoon from Fairprice.

Sigh.. how i wish i can have that dress..

Okay. STOP. *slap myself*

I'm very determine to grow fatter.

I'm going to take my daily vitamins, have all my meals, eat more portion, exercise more, shit less (this is nonsense. I'm just kidding)

yawn.

I wonder if Beijing 101 can help me to enhance my hair growth...

*look into the mirror*

*shudders*

A little something

2009-06-24T08:11:00.003+08:00

One fine day at home...

Mr. Vincent Lau came home in a hurry.

Miss Lau Li Li preparing to go out.

Bro: you are going out for class?
Me: Yeah.
Bro: Okay, we leave together. I'm going lot one.
Me: Erm... no lah, i'm leaving now.
Bro: yeah, i'm leaving now too. -.-"
Me: But I'm taking cab eh
Bro: Why you like to waste money ah?
Me: I'm LATE!
Bro: Then send me to lot one first.

Both rushed down in lift.

A cab waiting downstairs.

Me: Yay! Cab had reached!!
Bro: YOU CALLED FOR CAB?!
*both boarded the cab*
Me: *flash big smile*
Bro: seriously, you really love to waste money
Me: Uncle, please go to lot one first then to starhub centre. Thanks
Bro: You should save money.... Cab is unnecessary you know that...

Taxi uncle turned around...

Uncle: Eh, I thought i just dropped you here?
Me: *turned to bro*
Bro: .... *give sheepish smile*
Me: You took a cab home... -.-""""
Bro: EH! I was carrying alot of stuffs!
Me: You took a cab? *raise one eyebrow*
Bro: -.-" I took it from hostel ok!
Me: What's the difference?! You took cab!

NEXT
Gilbert kor and Li Li are at Sakae Sushi

Gilbert: Eh, I went to #$%^&* house
Me: What?
Gilbert: I said.. i went to pu^&*^% house to cut my hair
Me: What the hell is that? Say again?
Gilbert: I SAID.. i went to PUBIC HOUSE to cut my hair!!
Me: WHAT THE HELL?! Did you just say PUBIC HOUSE?!
Gilbert: QUBEE HOUSE!!! QUBEE!!
Me: -.-""
Gilbert: .... *speechless*
Me: *whistle*

NEXT
Long wei and Li Li sat outside Cathay and met Ernest.

Chatted and chatted and chatted

Me: Hey, I can see you haven't changed much.
Ernest: Yeah yeah. I know, my height.
Me: But there's one advantage to your height is that you never have to bend whenever you pass by low heights ceilings etc.
Ernest: *turned to Long Wei* You know, no one really likes her in Zhenghua
Me: You just don't wish to face the reality.
Ernest: But you see, the good thing about height is, during war, I'd be the least prone to be shoot. Everyone else is easy target.
Me: The short ones are the ones at the front-line
Ernest: *turns to Long wei again* Really, no one ever likes her...
Me: Try jumping everyday
Ernest: -.-" *gives up*

I went for Endoscopy yesterday. I was very fortunate and grateful to have my brother and father with me. And my brother decided to lighten up the atmosphere by sharing with me his encounters with......

Bro: you know what happened to me one night?
Me: What?
Bro: *looked around as if he wants no one to hear it and shift closer to me*
Me: -.-"
Bro: I was sleeping one night... and something.. flaps and makes funny noises *imitate the noise* I just went "aaarrgghh" and ran out of the room.
Me: So what is it?
Bro: You guess?
Me: Cockroach?
Bro: No
Me: Flying cockroach?
Bro: It's worse than a flying cockroach
Me: -.-"
Bro: What eats flying cockroach
Me: ..... a mutated flying cockroach?
Bro: -.-" no lah! It's.... a.. praying mantis!
Me: ARGH! *turned to dad* Pa! you see! Kor trying to scare me!
Dad: *continue to read newspaper*
Bro: What?! I realized alot of insects are attracted to my face..

Me: Perhaps...
Bro: -.-" *sense that his sister is going to say something lame*
Me: Perhaps... they are attracted to the mole on your face...
Bro: -.-""""""""""""

I then proceeded into the surgical rooms... the nurse was very friendly. She took my blood pressure etc and gave me a cup of something.

Me: What's this?
Nurse: Very nice. Taste like 100 plus
Me: But i doubt it's 100 plus right...
Nurse: Well, it just taste like it. Go ahead and drink it
Me: *drinks*
Nurse: how is it?
Me: taste like 100 plus with salt.
Nurse: -.-""

As i lay on the surgical bed...

Nurse A: Okay, Li Li, I'm going to stick a needle into your hand so i can then inject anesthesia. Don't worry, it won't be painful. Just a little needle
Me: How little is your little?
Nurse A: *took out the needle*
Me: -.-" *pray silently* Someone, help me.
Nurse A: *stick the needle into my hand*
Me: You know...
Nurse A: ???
Me: Your little isn't very little..
Nurse A: -.-"
Nurse B: *laughs*

*yawn*

I still feel very tired though.

Later people.

知足

2009-06-22T02:13:00.005+08:00

怎么去拥有一道彩虹
怎么去拥抱一夏天的风
天上的星星笑地上的人
总是不能懂不能知道足够
如果我爱上你的笑容
要怎么收藏要怎么拥有
如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有
当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷而祝福而感动
终于你身影消失在人海尽头
才发现笑着哭最痛
那天你和我那个山丘
那样的唱着那一年的歌
那样的回忆那么足够
足够我天天都品尝着寂寞
才发现笑着哭最痛wo…
如果你快乐再不是为我
知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛

Terrible, horrible, disgusting night

2009-05-16T07:47:00.004+08:00

It was a Thursday.

After heading to Bugis then to Vivo to get stuffs for event, carrying big and small plastic bags filled with bulky items, I decided to take the bus, 188 instead of the train. I really wasn't in the mood to stand the whole travelling journey.

Anyway, after getting onto the bus, 188, as usual, facing towards all the seats in the bus, i sat at the first left seats because it's bigger space for legs. I was very cold. In fact, I kept shivering non stop. The aircon couldn't be adjusted. And i was carrying so many things. Plus I was very exhausted as I only slept 2 hours for the night before that. I decided to take a nap. I was so tired, I fell asleep almost immediately.

Then, I felt someone jerk on my arm.

I opened up my eyes and took a look at who was sitting beside me.

An auntie, abit of those chubby flabby kind, talking on the phone. I was so darn tired and just decided to go back to sleep.

A few minutes later, the auntie hit against my arm again.

I opened up my eyes and look at naturally what hit me and of course, it's the auntie's arm. Just nice, while i was eyeing at her flabby arms, she caught me looking.

She did the MOST unnatural thing ever.

SHE RAISED HER ARM and let out a REALLY PUNGENT SMELL.

And she kept her arm raised up all the way.

I almost FAINTED on the spot.

If i had a hammer on hand, I would hit the windows with it and breathe. Luckily i did not eat much for dinner, if not, I'd have puke right there and then.

I think she's a little mentally challenged. (nice term eh?)

Never mind. I turned my head and try to breathe.

When i turned back and peek at her.. I saw a very disturbing behaviour by her.

She was DIGGING HER TEETH USING HER TWO FINGERS AND SHE ACTUALLY FLICK THE "LEFT-OVER FOOD IN HER MOUTH" ON THE FLOOR!

I was like, "What the fuck?!"

Immediately, i sat up straight and shifted to right as much as i could.

Let me describe the whole scenario.

She was like using her index finger and thumb, stick it right into her mouth which is opened up as big as hippo, and started to dig. The worse is, I'm a curious person. So i continued to peek at her. You know what i saw?

I THINK...

I think ah...

I THINK I SAW HER DUG OUT A PIECE OF VEGETABLE.

And she was like observing it after digging it out.

She was using her left finger to observe. And the next thing you knew...

She tried to "rub" away the vegetable from her finger to the floor.

There are other times, after digging out some other food from her mouth, she flick it from her finger. (not as my direction okay)

I almost died.

I wanted to get out of my seat but I was thinking, I'd step over her "pieces of left-over" and I certainly don't want to touch her. I DON'T CARE! I just don't want to touch ANY PART of her.

I was practically stuck to the bus wall on my right and i really curl up on the seat as much as i can to avoid touching her.

And digging out food from her teeth, naturally, I'd look at her fingers.

I saw a fresh cut on her index finger.

SHE ACTUALLY DUG SO HARD INTO HER TEETH THAT THE FINGER BLED.

Oh my goodness.

I wanted to just hit my head on the window and die there.

And trust me, the next option i had in my mind is to climb over the seat from behind me.

I REALLY DID THINK OF THAT.

Eventually, she alighted.

When i was going to alight as well, i tip toe and got out of there.

I tried to reduce as much surface area of my heels to the floor as much as possible.

I certainly don't want ANY piece of her left-over food dug out from her teeth using her bleeding finger STUCK ON MY HEELS.

It was a REALLY terrible night for me after having to carry and buy so many things, running about and all, shivering and cold etc, and I'd to be seated next to a woman whose goal in life is to dig and shoot out as many left-over food in her mouth as many times as possible.

*faint*

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-09T08:43:00.004+08:00

Happy Mother's Day to my beloved Mother!

It's okay.

2009-05-07T23:00:00.003+08:00

Each time i feel down, i always tell myself, "It's okay. Things are not that bad. You'll pull through."

I can't help...

But feel this sense of instability and insecurity inside me.

What's is this called?

The feeling of being dispensable.

Damn shiok.

Busy busy

2009-05-05T10:22:00.003+08:00

I just got a new job! I'm so excited!

But at the same time, I'd be ultra busy with school, singing, dance and work. *cries*

I guess by the end of the day, I'd be too tired to do anything else.

But i guess life is just like that. You've to earn to do things you enjoy.

And i enjoy shopping, singing and dancing. But without money, I can't do any of it!

I couldn't recall what life was like when i was working though. Darling said I was too shag to go anywhere and just want to go home to sleep.

I can't help it. I'm a workaholic and I don't mind doing OT to finish all my work. At the end of the day, I'd be too drained out to do anything else. But luckily, Ang Mo Kio is near town. So we can still go town to pak tor after work sometimes. =D That is if I'm not too tired.

This job requires me to travel. Woot! *excited*

Okay, let's put work aside and talk about something more relaxing. If not, I'm going to stress myself out even before i begin work. Oh yes, the person who interviewed me actually said that this job is really going to drain me out and he asked, "Are you a career-minded person?" I said, "yes I am." He replied, "okay. Good. But you've to have good time management as well if not, it'd break your relationship up. Your boyfriend will understand right?" LOL!

okay, next topic.

Oh no! I have lots of unread books! Shucks! HOW! The only time I've got to read is when I'm traveling! I've like two books from library and one new book that I've bought. Actually, make it two. I've many games left not played yet.

If i were to have two lessons per week, one singing lesson for Friday, one day for OT, one day for dance, I'm only left with one and a half day to do my own stuffs and pak tor!

Okay. wait. Why do i sound so paranoid here. Stop it. *slap myself*

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow! I'm going to pak tor with my darling. =D At last! A planned date! Been so long since we go out for dating. =( (I know i'm going to get interrogated later when he sees this)

But I'm telling the truth!

*bang table*

We always don't have a proper date! I want to COMPLAIN!

*whistle*

Down

2009-05-03T11:19:00.004+08:00

Nothing seems to go on right recently. Day by day, as time passes by, there is sure to be a huge block of rubbish that falls upon me. Picking up once a day is bad enough. Having to pick up twice a day everyday is hell.

And i really hate it when i tried my best but the other party happily just throw rubbish in front of me. It takes two hands to clap. Why can't the other party JUST WORK ALONG with me?!

Just feel like I'm wading through a never ending river of shit.

My thoughts

2009-04-27T10:11:00.005+08:00

Life is an endless struggle. Sometimes.. I can't help it but ask this question to myself...

"What am i really fighting for? What are the people around me really fighting for?"

Wealth? Power? Security? Love?

When is enough? When do we really think it's the best we can get? How do we know whatever we are having now, is sufficient? That anymore further than that, we'd fall?

It's easier said than done. To have a balance. But we all know we bound to sacrifice something for something else we want. How do we know we would not regret? What if at the end of the day, the after-math is non-reversible?

I kept asking myself all these questions over and over again for the past one to two months.

And I'd come to a conclusion..

Everybody wants to be successful. Everyone wants to be have lots of money at their disposal. I want it too. I remembered telling my friends that I want to bring my parents for first class travel. That's what i promised my dad that's what I'd do and that's what I will do. I'd always work for an improvement in myself. I'd always be at my best in whatever I do. Every little simple small task might seem meaningless but you'd never know when you'd need it. My singing teacher and dad had taught me to be patient. Good things have to wait. I'd be quick but steady. My future ambition is to be a sales and marketing manager/director and that's what I'd work towards to. I'll make sure every steps that i take, though it might be a small step but at least, I'm working towards it. My studies is the first big stone. The second stone to get a marketing job now, be it assistant etc as long as I get to touch on marketing, it's fine. Third stone I'd step on is after i graduate, I'll use my cert and experience to get into a reputable company and work my way up from there. It'd take 10-15 years but if that's what it takes for me to reach the top and STAY there, I will. Even if one day i get retrenched, I'm sure with my experience and skills, I'd be able to get another job of similar job scopes and income.

Slow but steady wins the race. How slow is slow?

I believe everyone misunderstood this phrase.

Asking you to be slow doesn't necessary means at tortoise pace. To start as a cleaner and work all the way up to director.

This phrase calls for you to be slow in the sense to carefully plan and analyze your next step and WAIT for opportunity and assess every of the opportunities and jump on it when the time if ripe. How slow can you be? My dad had taught me values such as, to be patient, and wait for opportunity. The same that goes for my singing teacher who taught me that. Be prepared and the opportunity will come. Widen your skills and everything so there will be more opportunities for you to assess. But don't be so stupid to stay in the company and work for 2 or more years without any promotion or pay raise, that one is stupid okay. That's not slow and steady. That's dumb and slow. Always have a vision and make sure to carefully path out your future.

Everyone starts from somewhere.

Lunar Outing with Sis

2009-04-24T14:59:00.007+08:00

Lunar Outing with Sis

After having dinner at Central point - Clarke Quay (We had laksa and Mee pok - in chinese, it's really call Mee bo lah! zhen de!), we decided to go for a drink. We walked all the way to the River valley side and scouted around. Zirca was closed for that night so sis didn't get to see how it's like. Anyway, we settled for Lunar. Sis almosted wanted to go some weird bar - Yellow Jellow. What kinda name is that?! So anyway, we went in and got a seat at the second level on the pretty red sofa. Oh gosh. I just love the sofa.

We had the house pour which includes the drinks and french fries! The french fries ain't bad. Nearby to us, there was this weird old couple kissing and fondling each other. What's with them? I guess they couldn't afford a decent hotel room. There was no bar top dancing when we arrived. Thank goodness. What's so nice about seeing ladies dancing with poles? Weird fetish for poles i suppose for that someone who created this dance. The next thing you know, the dancers are practicing with MRT poles. It's not even applicable to outside unless you want to be a pole dancer in the club or you are fascinated with dancing with poles in the MRT. Anyway, as usual, we took lots of pictures!!

Sis eventually left at 930. (ahem. No, I'm not complaining). There's this live band. Really good the singers. Real nice voice. Just a pity it's ladies. =x Kidding.

Anyway, the other time i went Zirca, a couple of fat ladies went to dance inside the cage and they are not the performancers. (I'm really just telling the way as it is) They looked like they were trying to tear the cage apart. And when the performers came out, the guys looked with their jaws hung open. They should seriously keep in check with themselves. Definitely look like some tiko peks. Oh ya, I have the perfect emoticon for them. Hold on.

So, men, this is what you look like.

If you think it's disgusting, try imagining it with hair, body, penis, testes, neck etc.

It's you.

LOL!

Simplicity

2009-04-21T12:28:00.003+08:00

Simplicity is the new elegance.

We are born in this world as babies. Babies are cute. No matter how bad of a day we had, when we see a cute little baby smiling at us, all our worries and troubles just seem to diminish. All of us had been through that stage. As babies, we were blissfully ignorant. We cry when we don't get what we want. We spoke what we have in mind (of course, not as babies. But when we were able to speak our first few words.). We do not care if our parents had a bad day at work, we just demand what we want and if we do not get it, we'd cry. We'd smile when people smile even though we do not know what are they happy about. We'd cry and feel sad when we see people looking upset. We enjoy little things around us. A new toy would cheer us up. The beautiful bird at the window. The zoo. The plants around us.

The innocence and outlook of life changed and diminished as we got influenced by our surroundings and nature. The experience that changed us. The fear of pain so we adapt. The fear of rejection so we tolerated. Soon enough, we are influenced by the people around us who came at the right time and right place.

Where has the innocence and simplicity of life went to?

As adults, we can still smile in appreciation of the little beauty things around us. Happy about little things like the bus uncle who waited for you to board the bus before closing the door. Happy that the weather is good today. Happy for people who are happy. Sympathize and provide listening ears for peers who feel down. Babies are made selfish but as we grow, we sympathizes and react as per situation allows us to.

There's nothing wrong with being influenced with positive people around us. I like to be influenced by the positive energy as well. I love to read self-help books because that's where people talk about their experiences and we learn from their experiences so as to take extra precautions and improve on whatever lifestyle we have.

But it's always important to learn the meaning behind every experiences, not the tools.

"There are a lot of obstacles in life and each time, i allowed myself to analyze the situation and think things through before reacting as per what i think it's appropriate. Selling properties had make it challenging for me because of the accomplishments gained after that. The smile of customers' face when they are satisfied with my presentation of the house. You should go try selling properties. Maybe even if it's not properties, you can go into other lines as well on sales."

After reading the above paragraph, what do you think?

The positive influence is "Not to give up". It is not "selling things".

This is what i meant by taking in the meanings behind each experiences and not material tools etc. All of us have different capabilities. People might have taken this route to succeed but that doesn't mean you have to.

I despises a lot on networking. I can be very frank.

I am not saying all of them, do not get me wrong. There are exceptions.

And i'm sure people in that line do not have the intentions of being the way they are.

It just became part of them.

It'd come to a point that whoever new people you meet, the first question in your mind would be, "Is this person going to be useful to my networking purposes? Is this person going to help me to achieve what i want? Is this person successful and financially independent enough for me to engage with?"

What happened to the simplicity in making friends?

Trust me. It just comes naturally.

It'd come to a point that the particular individual would treat making friends and knowing more people as part of their business and it'd became a necessity for them to grow their network.

Because they'd never know when these people are going to be of help to them.

They'd prioritize "useful people" in their life first.

You do not have to agree with me especially people in that line because they do not even realize.

But as observer, I can tell.

Making new friends to me, is a beauty. You get to know more people's characteristics. Know more about their problems. Their lifestyles. Their mindset. By that itself, it's an art.

You can tell whether someone is genuine about having a friendship with you.

I'm not saying networking is a bad thing. I'm not despising all people in the networking business.

But i despise people who have that mindset and thought.

Because it's sad. I feel sad for these people who have no "real" friends. Because all their friends revolves around motives and prospects.

So people in this line.. something for you to ponder...

"Who and what are the people around you and for what purpose do they serve in your life.. really?"

Happy!

2009-04-08T07:08:00.003+08:00

In order to be a happy person, i feel it's important for every individual to know the following concepts and to understand as well.

Contented
The future is important. Plans are important. But we should always focus on the present and be contented with what we have. Because from there, when we are focus and contented in the present, then, we'd be able to focus and plan out our future. It is when we are contented, we realized what we possess that other people doesn't. Given the fact that an individual is not contented, he/she would be focusing on all the negative thoughts which are unnecessary because I believe everyone have positive and negative thoughts. If there are both, why choose the negative? Be contented. The people who only had 30minutes to live in ICU hospital which they were you instead.

Learn to let go
I know this is really hard and it's easier said than done. Every couple does have quarrels and fights. But what makes a strong couple is that both parties learn to let go. We let go of our mistakes and forgive ourselves. Then, we'd be able to learn from our mistakes and not commit the same ones again. If we continue to beat down ourselves with blames and all, we'd never move on. So tell yourself, "Given the same situation again at that moment of time, I'd have done the same thing. But not in future because I'd learned to do better."

Think and act rationally
Now, whenever you are genuinely pissed and all, give yourself one hour or more to calm down before you act on anything. You can't control your feelings but you can control your actions. Tell yourself, "Okay. take a deep breath, calm down. That way, i can think better. By being angry like this, things are not going to get better." After you've calmed down, then think through the situation again. Always seek to understand the other party first. NEVER demand for others to understand your point of view first. Put yourself in that individual's shoe and all. Yes. You might not have acted that way if you were him/her, but given his/her character, think again, would you?

And the rest, shall be continued next time because I'm hungry! *grins*

Never Assume

2009-04-01T08:42:00.005+08:00

Never come to a conclusion base on your own assumptions, people.

Give a thought of what the other party wants before coming to a solution. Without hearing the other party's side of the story, you are unable to compromise etc because it'd be all base on your own assumptions and you.

Is that fair?

If it's in a relationship... think about it again..

Have you ever thought of what your gf/bf wants?

I woke up 630am today. Then i slept back and waited for dad to close the bathroom door. At 650am, i went into the kitchen and do my stuffs.

After all was done, dad came into the study-room and talked to me.

Dad: Why are you up so early?
Me: For fun peace and laughter
Dad: Don't think I don't know ah! Your dad is also very intelligent! *slap newspaper against my shoulder*
Me: Erm. Ok. Good for you. Since you know, why still ask?
Dad: Just to confirm!
Me: Okay. You are confirmed.
Dad: -.-""""

Trip to KL

2009-03-31T14:17:00.020+08:00

KL Trip

It was a Saturday morning and I had difficulties waking up especially after not sleeping on Thursday night due to assignment. We woke up at 7.10am. Yes, my darling gave me morning call. So anyway, we got up and prepared. He eventually come over to my house and off we go! My bag was seriously heavy. I've no idea what I packed inside. I thought i brought only clothes. Okay. And a pair of slippers. Come to think of it, i brought chargers and my straightener too. Okay, let's not go into my packing list. ANYWAY, we managed to get out of the house by 8.10am. Got onto bus 300 and headed to Jollibean at Lot one and bought kways and two cups of soya bean milk. Got onto the train and off we go to Novena! We managed to get into the coach on time (First coach) by exactly 930pm. Whew! But for some reason, our seats were separated! As in, we still got to sit next to each other but our seats were apart! *groan* And darling was there complaining about how far the journey will be. It's only 5 hours drive, darling. Anyway, not to worry because this time you have me! =D So we watched movies and we slept in the bus. And after 4 hours and a half, finally! We were about to reach!

We managed to reach Malaysia at 230pm and we went to meet up with his two brothers and his mother inside First Coach's office. The mom was really sweet! She bought us bee hoon and all. It was really delicious! =) Then we got into their car and headed off to pay our respect for qing ming. Along the journey, the car's air-con suddenly stopped working. Quite hilarious actually. Darling was like, "What?! Why of all times now?!" LOL! To me it's okay because i rather have the windows open and enjoy the wind. So we got to get the car fixed and all. Meanwhile, we went into the office to wait and slap mosquitoes. After that, we went to petrol station to refill petrol and then headed off for qing ming.

Next stop! The mother dropped us at Leisure mall and we did a little shopping because i forgot to bring something. Ahem. Let's not go into details. I realized my Cantonese ain't that bad because I'm still able to converse and the lady understood me. LOL! We then went to A&W to have waffles (that is yes, topped with strawberry jam. YUCKS) and drank root beer! OMG! I really love the root beer! I miss it!

Subsequently, we walked around, went to Adidas shop which darling looked at the LP's jerseys. (blah blah) and then, headed for dinner. The mom and two brothers came to fetch us from the mall and we had dinner with the mom's friend and her son! They really can eat, that's the only comment i can give you. But the dinner was really scrumptious! We had fish, tou fu, pig etc. I update my dad about my whereabouts and all. I guess he is going to be jealous the dinner i was having. =x

We then went to night market to walk awhile. Darling was really eager to go home to bathe. Actually, i was too. But it's not everyday you get to walk Malaysia's night market!

So, that's it. We went back to darling's house. Though he said his house is small, but i don't think so. I think it's average and it's really cosy! Anyway, we turned in early because both of us were really tired.

The next morning, we had plans to go SHOPPING!

But we woke up only at around 8-9 am. The mom and brother went to get us wanton mee! So while waiting for them, we went for a little stroll at hubby's house area.

There's this house that hubby likes.

Really huge isn't it? I wish i can live there too! Ah! Peace!

I saw the playground!

And yes, if you know me by now, i love swings.

Hubby was saying that he is heavier than me and all when I initiated to play the see-saw. I think he assumed the see-saw would go terribly one-sided. BUT NO! I was able to move him okay!

Anyway, pardon our hairs. We just woke up lah, what you expect? LOL!

After that, we headed back to his house while he talked on the phone with his aunt. We had wanton mee and i managed to finish the mee but not the wanton. =x We then proceeded upstairs to prepare for our SHOPPING!

Okay, so anyway, the brother dropped us at mid valley shopping mall and we began walking around and all. The mall is really huge! But the stuffs they sell, not really of my likings. For some reason, I do not know why. After walking around and all, i bought shirt for brother. Then we headed off for lunch at the basement. We had fish!

The swordfish and deep fried Calamari.

I really had hoped darling would only tell me it's swordfish AFTER i finished eating. Because as soon as I know it's swordfish, i just lost all appetite.

So after lunch, i bought earrings, shirt and necklace for myself and we headed off to another mall in a cab. Up till now, I do not know what's the mall. I thought hubby said it's golden something. Alright, anyway, it's so BUGIS! We had our neoprints taken there! Been a long time since I used the machine but suddenly, i find it quite addictive because both of us look good in the picture!

Darling had trouble decorating the pictures but alas, he came up with the best decoration! The last picture is his masterpiece! =)

After that, we went to Times mall and bought mom's shirt. Then we took a cab back to his house for steamboat! Yummy! We actually wanted to go for supper but darling wasn't feeling well after that. Poor thing. =( *hugs*

But nonetheless, we made it back in Singapore! We had dim sum on the Monday morning. I'm really grateful for his family's hospitality and for darling to be taking such good care of me while we were there. I had a really enjoyable weekend. =)

Thanks so much, lao gong! *hugs*

Looking forward to our next vacation!

Back to studies

2009-03-27T04:43:00.004+08:00

Shit. It's 4.43am in the morning and I am still awake, doing my assignment.

Somehow, I do not feel lethargic. Maybe it's because of the tou fu that my hubby steamed for me at 2.21am. Thanks so much, darling! *hugs*

With all that citations and referencing to do, I'm seeing a lot of names now.

I was chatting with some of my friends with regards to soccer and all. Let's not go into details. I still think that Ronaldo is the BEST player! One of my friend say that it's really good to have a gf who have passion for soccer as well. I don't think my bf will support what he says. LOL! I think he would be thinking, "She's better off not liking, the fact that she supports Man U."

Come on. Be more sporting. 18 years, ain't that bad. Since we are just one win behind, just let us win one more. Be fair mah. =x

And Rooney is not shrek. STOP CALLING HIM SHREK can!

*roll eyes*

All of you just jealous k!

My friend is going to teach me guitar! It's about time! He'd been saying, "ya ya ya" for like don't know how many donkey months!

Music is my only escape from this world man.

I've interview later at 930am and singing later as usual at 7pm till 1130pm.

I've absolutely no idea how am i going to keep myself awake.

Someone above, save me!

Okay, i better continue doing my assignment because if i don't, even if someone above want to save me, he/she can't. LOL!

Just some thoughts

2009-03-25T12:58:00.003+08:00

I'm scanning through and downloading all the research papers needed for my assignment.

After hundreds of documents, i realized I'M ENJOYING READING ALL OF IT!

Some of it is really interesting.

I'm researching on Risk-Taking behaviour and some of the papers that came out were, "Does women engage in bare-backing more often than men?"

Goodness!!! It's hard not to be intrigued! Oops.

If you do not know what's bare-back, check the internet.

Only for age 21 and above okay!

I'll guarantee you, if you need to improve on your English, read research papers.

I'm not kidding!

You'd need to at least check the dictionary 10 times for each page. You'd learn tons of new words and broaden your knowledge as you read. GOOD!

I'm so excited! I'm going Malaysia with my bf for the weekend! But seems like such a short period to really enjoy. But it's okay. At least I get to enjoy myself for the weekend! Better than nothing. =)

Far East Organization is launching a new Condominium at Choa Chu Kang soon!

http://www.fareast.com.sg/FEOCorp.Web/index.aspx?page=home-prop-info&prop=112

Looks really beautiful eh?

My ideal dream house! I get to live near my parents.

But first, I can't think of anything till i finish my studies or at least get a job!

No job, how to save?!

I think for a part time job, i really enjoy being in the retail line because i get to interact with a lot of people and I've got talents for recognizing people and their needs. Page One was like the best job i ever had! I get to listen to nice songs in the shop, chat with my colleagues and customers, job satisfaction each time I found a book which is misplaced etc. and best of all, I LOVE BOOKS!

For a permanent job, of course, I'd prefer something along the marketing or psychology line.

I get to interact with people and to help people as well!

YES!! *punch fists in the air*

Suddenly, life is beautiful.

Reflection

2009-03-23T12:56:00.003+08:00

I hate being controlled.
I hate being told what to do.
I hate feeling helpless.
I hate having to comply just because "other people said so". It's MY FREAKING LIFE!
I hate mind games
I hate ignorant people
I hate people who are overly-positive to the extend that, HELLO! There's a problem in front of you! Stop thinking that fairies will come to save you!
I hate people who are overly-pessimistic. You are not dead yet.
I hate being taken for granted.
I enjoy doing things because I want to.
I love showing my love.
I love having a good time with my friends and loved ones.
I enjoy a good laugh
I hate endless arguments and fighting just to prove who is right or wrong when in actual fact, it's only a battle of who argues better.
I hate men who raise their voices at me.
I love it when men are willing to forgo their pride and ego for the ones they loved.
I hate people who drop bombs.
I hate gu niang(s).
I love hand-made stuffs even a simple letter will do.
I love hanging out with my friends.
I love traveling with my family.
I love cuddling and relaxing during the weekends with my partner.
I hate men who go gaga at women. GET A LIFE, please.

I think I'd ample entries on ladies-looking.

I shall repeat the conclusion again.

If you think it's harmless to look etc, think again. Yes, it's true. It's not like you touched the lady etc. But it's DISGUSTING.

1. You do not have confidence in yourself, in any case, that's the impression you set out to give people!
2. Makes you look desperate.
3. If you've a partner, DON'T HAVE A PARTNER. Because if you do, he/she deserve your attention the most, don't you think.
4. You look like some old uncle, picking your nose, rubbing your belly and goggling at girls. It's disgusting, seriously.
5. High risk of bumping into the walls. And trust me, I'd seen men who looked and they fell off their bikes. VERY HILARIOUS.
6. Females are attracted to men who have confidence in themselves and certainly NOT HAVE A PAIR OF DARTING EYES.

Sufficient reasons no?

And what makes a gu niang?

1. Endless complains + complains + complains
2. Thinks they are gu niang. If you thinks you are a gu niang, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE ONE!
3. Being touchy touchy especially towards opposite sex. Touching is a connection. You know why people touch? Because their words are not powerful enough to make an impact such that they have to touch the other party. Confident men don't do that no?
4. Complain about how fat they are. GOODNESS! Complain about MUSCLES. Complain they are not tanned enough. Like i say, endless complaints.
5. Complain about PIMPLES! Complain about scars! Complain about hairs!
6. And I've to correct one thing. Carrying your gf bags does not make you look GU NIANG OK! You want example?

Scenario One
Gf: Eh, darling, help me carry my bag leh.
Bf: Okay. *take it*

Scenario Two
Gf: Eh, darling, help me carrying my bag leh.
Bf: Huh.. mai lah.. dun wan lah. look sissy leh.. later other people thinks i'm sissy how. cannot lah.. dun want. *show that embarrassed face*

YOU TELL ME! WHICH ONE MORE GU NIANG?!

TAKE IT LIKE A MAN CAN ANOT?!

Unless of course, your gf carries pinkish furry bags. That's their own business. Tell them, "You like to hang these kinda furry stuffs ah, girly girly stuffs, you carry yourself okay, since you are proud of your bag so much.

Other than that, if your gf is carry a PERFECTLY ladies bag, I DON'T SEE WHAT'S THERE TO WHINE ABOUT?? Yes! I call that whining! DAMN GU NIANG CAN! I DISGRACE SUCH MEN!

I HATE WHINEY MEN!

"Don't want lah, what others will think of me?"
"Eh, don't want lah. Don't look man leh."
"Eh i tell you" *touch arm* / *touch shoulder*
"Eh, I'm fat leh. Goodness!"

It's okay to complain. Everybody complain.

But ground rules:

1. KNOW WHEN TO STOP! You men, think it's tiring to hear your gf talk about how fat they look in their dress, we ladies HATE to hear men talk about how fat they are too!
2. Why the hell you want to care about what other people say?! Hello, a real man DO WHAT THEY LIKE. And their best interest in the relationship is needless to say, THE GIRLFRIEND? So why the hell are you so cautious about what other people say?!
3. STOP TOUCHING. You want to talk, just talk. You want to take pictures, just take pictures. WHY MUST TOUCH, I ASK YOU?! Have gold to take is it? Rub an inch of the skin will drop gold?!

Goodness. I hate men touching me. I REALLY HATE IT! What you think I am?! Some barbie doll?? "Please touch me" hung over my neck?! If i want to be touched, I'll go be prostitute. I don't NEED YOU TO TOUCH ME!

Men like to solve things eh? Like to FIX things eh?

Fine, FIX THIS!

If you can't even handle your own relationship, SHAME ON YOU to even talk about SAVING THE WORLD.

And I AM NOT going to comply to a bunch of crap poorly sampled population surveys. I am ME! I am LAU LI LI! I live my own life! If i want to mix my thoughts with other people opinions so much, I MIGHT AS WELL GO LIVE THEIR LIVES for them.

I AM SPECIAL AND I AM PROUD OF IT!

So don't expect me to comply with simi, "My friend said this", "my family said this', "my whoever said so". THEY CAN SAY WHATEVER THEY WANT, who gives a damn?!

I said this in one of my ancient posts and I will repeat it again:

"If your life is all about listening to what your friends/family/ideal model say, and you are so easily influenced and affected by what other people tell you to the extend that it affect your thoughts, i tell you what... Congratulations! Because your life is merged and made up of other people' life and thoughts! GOOD FOR YOU! You should just stay home and be a home-made robot for you don't have a mind of your own!"

How can you be freaking confident when your thoughts are NOT EVEN YOUR OWN?!

At the end of the day, when something happens, are you going to turn around and say, "Shit. I shouldn't have listened." and regret?!

You've no one to blame but YOURSELF for being such an IDIOT!

I may make the wrong choices/decisions, but when i looked back, AT LEAST i brought it upon myself and i made the decision myself.

I don't wish to look back and realized, "hey, why the hell am i doing this?!"

And men, if you want respect, give respect. You want face, ego and pride, fair enough, but don't do it at the EXPENSE of your loved ones.

You want wise women, WE WANT WISE MEN.

No matter how wise a woman is, when there's a dumb man... seriously.. It's not going to help anything. Because the man is TOO DUMB to realize, "hey, my gf/wife is wise!"

And your material stuffs like car etc is NOT everything! You want your own hobbies, fair enough... but make sure when you are out with your partner, STOP RANTING on about your hobbies because we give YOU time for your stuffs, WE WANT YOUR TIME TOO! Can PARTITION ANOT?!

Much as we want to love and care for you, WE NEED TO FEEL LOVED AND SECURED! Without that, DON'T ASK for anything.

We don't need a man who can read minds. But if for a certain period of time, you still do not know what your gf/wife is looking for, then SOMETHING is wrong!

And couples, STOP going round and round in endless battles/arguments on, "You are wrong. you should have done this.." because EVERYONE COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING ELSE so that the dispute WOULD NOT have happened but the fact is IT'D HAPPENED and obviously, you are not the other party, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THE EXACT SAME THING AS HE/SHE HAD DONE! That's what makes both of you unique, dumb!

1. Set a time period to cool down. Not more than half a day.
2. Sit down in a quiet place and make sure, by that time, both hearts and mind are clear of all things.
3. Meet up with ALL DOORS open. Do not have the mindset of, "I am here to tell you how you SHOULD HAVE done it.", "I am right, I didn't do anything wrong", "I won't take such thing, you are wrong." The moment you start to judge, the discussion would have already started the wrong way.
4. First thing first, let either party say what they have to say. Explain what he/she have to explain. And no, you don't start the ball rolling with, "Okay. you can start explaining" Just say, "Come. Let's talk things out. You can start first."
5. Make sure that your words bring NO THORNS and NO hidden agendas. No name-calling. No "I feel you should...". No, "you are wrong" Spill out what happened and explain your actions in seeking for a COMMON UNDERSTANDING. Not out of defensiveness. DON'T be defensive. HELLO! THIS IS YOUR PARTNER! Not battle!
6. Start second round (after both partners have spill out whatever they want to say) by saying, "I understand where you are coming from." and make sure you REALLY understand. Try putting yourself into the other party's shoes. Some things, yes, you might not have did the exact same thing but imagine you have a character and personality like the other partner! Like for example, she was late for an hour and did not call, explaining that she genuinely just want to hurry and reach there asap so did not contact you for fear that you'd start scolding etc. Yes, as much as it sounds that she's in the wrong, put yourself in her shoes. She GENUINELY wants to get there asap and she's afraid you'd scold her. What's wrong with that?
7. Don't interrupt. NEVER INTERRUPT. I know it's hard because you might hear things that you don't like hearing but WAIT for your turn. Don't go thinking about anything else OTHER THAN what he/she is saying. Don't go thinking of what to rebut and etc.
8. Recognize that both have their rights and wrongs. There is NO definite wrong or rights.
9. Compromise. Come up with a solution. He doesn't like her to be late, just say, "Okay. Why not this... " and start coming up with a neutral solution. Say things like, "I understand how you feel. You have your reasons for doing that. I'd work on blah blah blah, is that alright with you?" Then the other party say, "Yes. Then I'd work on blah blah blah blah" Both say out WHAT THEY REALLY WANT and tadah. FAST, EFFICIENT AND NO ONE GETS HURT.

If you do not even know how to solve any quarrels efficiently etc, don't even talk about, "We'll go through all obstacles together" when both can't even stay united.

And one most important thing..

Never do/say things that you don't want to hear or want others to do to you.

Remember this.

More about myself

2009-03-20T09:09:00.009+08:00

Life Of Triple L

Born in 1987, July 20th in Singapore's grandest hospital (self-proclaimed by me), Queen Elizabeth Hospital. Someone above must have find that the earth is lacked of entertainment, therefore, *poof*, this little devil is given birth. And if Mdm Lau and Mr Lau find that their life was mundane and need someone to spice up their life, they made the right decision of having me.

My mom said that I did not learn to crawl first before I learned how to walk. So how did I managed to get from point A to B? My butt. Not very difficult. You just move your legs first, den push your butt from the floor. There! I may love teddy bears etc but I hate it when people use thread or fury things to tickle me. It's proven since I was a baby. My mom loves disturbing me using that.

And one thing you've to know about me...

I'm one clumsy oaf. I hate staying at home. My maid used to say, "Your legs itchy is it? Everyday want to go out. Stay at home will die?" One weird thing that up till now, I do not understand is that all my wounds and scars are populated around my knee. And the wounds i had on the picture, I got it when i slipped and fell into the little drain. So you can see a faint little trail of ointment on the left of my leg.

And I love to dance. I'd Chinese dance background for 7 years. Every performance I had, mom and dad would be there. One thing i hate, is the thick make up and lip-stick. And oh yes, not forgetting the ugly buns. I just came to realize, why everyone had two buns while I only had one. Anyway, mom and maid tied my hair for me. I really hate having those stupid pins stuck into my hair.

I love singing too. I'd always sing in the shower. My parents always find it amusing the songs that i sang. They'd no idea where i learned it from. I remembered that I used to sing a hokkien song while bathing. I learned it from primary school, one of the guy whom I mixed around with.

I love hide-and-seek. Especially with my report slips. And I love hiding in one corner, scaring the hell out of people. I love to disturb. And i learned the piano when i was in Primary school. My first song was "Lemon tree". How i learned it? I was looking at my friend played it in school and I just know how to play it on my keyboard at home. That's when my mom finds that I have "talent" for music. It's easy, by the way. Only a few repeated chords.

And i'm a born cheater. I always play cheat especially in games when I know I'm losing. Of course, only when i play with my maid. Board games like snakes and ladder etc.

So now both my brother and I had grown up and in a way, became more sensible, the Lau family has peace at home.

I may be slim but I love food as well. My favourites are Laksa, chicken rice, slice fish bee hoon, durian, satay bee hoon, mushrooms etc. I hate cakes. Especially those with white cream. *faint* And though i love mango as a fruit, i hate mango cake. So don't ever get me mango cake. If you want a safe bet, stick with chocolate or durian cake. One fruit I'd never ever tried in my entire life is starfruit. I've no idea how people eat it.

My favourite part of MY body are my legs. So don't ask me to wrap my legs in jeans (itches) etc. And I love my heels. NO ONE and i mean no one can take my heels away from me. You might as well just chop off my legs if you don't allow me to wear heels.

I am a highly sensitive individual who is very intuitive. A very typical cancerian. Loyal and intuitive is what they always say. Yes, protective of loved ones. I hate inconsiderate and rude people. I understand doesn't mean I'm obliged to do as you say. I hate people nagging on me so don't ever nag at me. I get irritated easily though I love irritating people. I love to get things done. I'm easily contented and satisfied but at the same time, I'm a perfectionist. I hate things left undone. I cannot handle too much stress so don't ever try things with me the HARD way. Once I'm stress, I'd do things MY WAY and i doubt anyone will like that.

I love to lead. I hate working under anyone especially people with no leadership qualities. I think I'd shown this side of me in my secondary school choir days. Poor Weiqi. LOL! When I don't listen means i REALLY won't listen.

I am a compassionate and sympathetic listener. I love to help and make a difference in peoples' lives that's why I love volunteering. I am competitive. I love to win. I am analytical and look out for details. I am judgemental and critical. I can be very sarcastic especially with people who are self-centered. I cannot stand bimbos and I hate people who thinks they are from the royal family. I may look and seem like a princess but I'm really not.

I've a really low extraversion score so yes, I'm not as extraverted as everyone thinks though I'm noisy and friendly. I'm only talkative when i feel like it. In fact, I'm a very moody person. I do not like to initiate talks so if you want to talk to me, come talk to me. It's not because i think highly of myself or dao etc, but I'm just shy okay though i know, i don't look like one. But come on, won't die to talk to me first right? I won't bite you.

I'm a very bad tempered individual but I'm easily soothed.

I love shopping but I hate shopping for a reason. I love shopping aimlessly, buying whatever I see is gorgeous. I hate objective. So don't ever give me a list unless the occasion calls for it. I hate looking for things. I love movies. I love singing K. I love acting. I love dancing. I love jogging. I love badminton and cycling. I love the beach.

I hate stuck up-people. I hate people who stare at me. I hate people who critisize or insults me. I hate ignorant people. I don't like people to judge me and thinks, "I know who Li Li is." because you don't. I am more complex than you think. I hate violent and vulgar people.

Basically, I'm just someone who loves to have fun and hang out. I love to listen to friends' problems. I love reading by the way. Sometimes, I'm in a mood to just stay at home and chill out with my loved ones. I love sleeping. I love chocolate. I love sweets. I love vinegar. I love red tea. I love tea!

That's all for now.

Because the list goes on.

And i'm getting restless.

Breathe

2009-03-18T12:54:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, life can get so hectic that you lost track of yourself.

I had a couple of beautiful dreams lately compared to flying broomsticks, it's so much better.

In the first dream, I was working in one of the company (which up till now, I've no idea which company that is), where we held a seminar/event. The people who arrived are all my old colleagues, friends etc. The people who are long-forgotten (regretfully) through all these years. They looked very happy to see me and It's amazing how i could remember each and every of their names the moment i saw them. The feeling is beyond description. It's like finding back all your friends who you'd lost touch for 20 years.

In my second dream which is last night, I dreamed that I was in a school. I'm trying my best to recall but the feeling is just so overwhelming, I wished i could stay inside the dream myself and never wake up. But anyway, for some reason, it was very late and I was still in school along with other classmates. It was after P.E. lessons and I was the first one to rush down the stairs, (I've no idea where the stairs came from) out of the hall. Then suddenly, i fell. In that dream, i recalled that I was suppose to wait for a guy but I've no idea who. Anyway, I fell and the people behind me helped me to sit etc.

There were bags in the hall and a fat lady (Who is supposedly also my classmate) asked me what should we do with them because we are leaving school for home. So i suggested that we carry it to another room (frankly speaking, it's illogical. Like what's the difference it's going to make?!) Okay, anyway, after that, I managed to get out of that compound... and ended up in a really beautiful tranquil place.

It's like part of a mansion with a sliding glass door, sparkling pool was outside and there were beach chairs. I went out and i stretched myself. The feeling is like there's no one but you. The kind of feeling that you reached your 'goal'. It was almost night time. In fact, it was evening. And you can see the sun disappearing down and the weather was cooling. Clean sparkling water.

Then I forced myself out of there and headed back home. The funny thing is, my home was not my current home. It was my old house in Bukit Batok. The moment i got out of school, I saw the route back to my old house.

The feeling was just so overwhelming. It's like I'm back in the past.

Though I don't have many friends, in fact, I dare say I've none.. but I'd a really really nice maid who took care of me and whom I looked up to as my sister and my only best friend.

I was dependent on her for 10 years because she is always there. She never fails to be there. Whenever I'm upset, angry, happy etc, she's always there to share it all with me.

I guess, that leaves me to become who I am now.

Someone who is dependent on other individuals' joy and sadness.

But i guess those two dreams, made me pause and think, even though life can be hectic at times.. we should never fail to slow down and breathe.

Because for all you know, the one beside you at this very moment might not be there the next day.

Or who knows?

This is your very last day on earth.

And what had you been doing?

Working the shit out of yourself.

And for what?

That's why... It's important to slow down and relax once in a while. Enjoy yourself and be contented with whatever and whoever you have.

It's funny how people envies what they see other people have that they don't but people fails to see what other people do not have and be contented that they have it.

And as a result, people are always engaged in endless fights to gain what they do not have, sacrificing what they have.

Sometimes, I think...

the best place of all..

is in our dreams.

Recovered!!

2009-03-15T09:27:00.004+08:00

I've recovered!! *raise up both arms and grin*

Of course, my cough is still there. Just seem like it's never-ending.

And my muscles are still aching. I hope it recovers in time for my dance on Tuesday.

Me: Eh, darling, do you know what drives me to have a speedy recovery?
Alex: Yes? What is it?
Me: My dance class! I don't want to miss it!!! *excited*
Alex: -.-" I thought you were going to say, "Because i want to go pak tor with my darling." Hai. Never mind.
Me: Ahem ahem. *whistle*

But naturally, the unbeatable Li Li had recovered!

Let me see...

I've school on Monday, dance on Tuesday, school on Thursday, singing on Friday...

*groan*

Just feels like my life is planned.

*sob sob*

I miss the secondary school days where I have ample time to go around disturbing everyone.

I better start revising for my exams.

I'm getting distinctions for my assignments so far. =D

So far so good.

GO GO GO, LI LI!!

KEEP IT UP!

*take out pom pom and dance*

It's sad when you are your one and only cheerleader.

but who cares

*shrug*

And oh yes, though yes, Man-U may have lose to Liverpool yesterday but it's fine.

They are still at the top of the tables!!

Hope they win all subsequent matches.

Liverpool can... erm..

I don't know.

Have all the draws. LOL!

sick and still sick

2009-03-13T17:29:00.004+08:00

I'm still sick. Having the shivers and I'm aching all over the body. Eyes are swollen and painful. Too weak to walk without dragging my feet. Coughing and sniffing with mild sore throat.

It's so hard for me especially when I'm someone who'd DIE without going out for one day.

It's been 3 days since i last went out. (Excluding the doctor trips)

Having to face the four walls in the dim empty house.

Hide under the blanket, in search for comfort but still feel cold.

He's in some leadership program today which I didn't know up till today.

I just hope this nightmare will be over soon.

I have dance audition tomorrow.

I went to another doctor today. My dad took half day leave for me knowing my temperature rose up to 39 degrees. The doctor just diagnosed it as throat infection and gave me more medicines for cough, flu and fever.

So here I am again, alone in the house.

"Your health is most important to me."

I want to laugh.

HAHAHAHAHA

*cough cough*

Top things you were not to do/say when quarrelling

2009-03-02T07:55:00.003+08:00

I'm sure everyone argues/debates/quarrel with your significant other/bf/gf/partner etc.

But there are a few pointers which should serve as a simple reminder to all of you:

1. Never use "names" - No "Stupid", no, "dumb", no "bitch" and whatever not.
2. Do not say things like, "You get on my nerves." Because you know what would I do if someone say that to me? If i were not to control my words, I'd say, "Good. Because I don't plan on being anywhere near your nerves or your face from now on." Since I get on your nerves, what's the point?
3. Do not say things like, "You are kicking a fuss out of nothing." Oh, that's funny. So you do not kick a fuss out of nothing? What makes you think your problems that you initiated are nothing to me? Who knows? Maybe I sleep around and I think it's nothing. HA
4. Do not say things like "I can't be bothered"
5. Never point your finger. Only people who thinks they are more superior than others do that.
6. Never stare. What? You want to fight?
7. Never walk in front without your partner. I doubt anyone wants to feel like the maid. If i were the partner, I'd walk off and take a cab without you. And I'll go, "walk faster lah, walk some more."

There are plenty more of course. Take it from me, the experienced.

People quarrel/argue/debate due to differences. And it's not helpful in pin-pointing out the differences and go, "yours is nothing." Because something that I mind, yes, might not be something that you mind but being in a relationship, if your significant other minds, there's more than just to say, "You kick a big fuss out of nothing." isn't it?

I don't remember using that on anyone and I'd never intended to use that. Because I understand how it feels. When my friend comes to me with a problem, even as small as, "He didn't pick up my phone!" and she begin to throw tantrum (I'm not pin-pointing or directing this at anybody.) I won't go, "Eh, you bo liao is it? Kicking a fuss out of nothing." If she cares and mind enough to throw tantrum, it's not nothing anymore, isn't it.

People who uses that sentence just cannot be bothered. Even if you meant it as, "Do we really have to quarrel over this?", well, it does not imply in that way.

Let me ask you people, can i control guys from looking at me? Like what the freak someone gets pissed or upset when other guys look at me.

I'd call THAT as kicking a big fuss.

Sometimes, i feel so discouraged that I don't feel like doing anything anymore.

I don't even feel like feeling.

I won't care/bother anymore. I guess, perhaps this way, nothing will go wrong.

A good question indeed

2009-02-23T14:51:00.003+08:00

Question: Have I regretted being in my previous relationship? Elaborate.

Answer: No. Simply because without my experience from previous relationship, i couldn't have done better in my current relationship. It is only because of my previous relationship that I am more appreciative of my current relationship. I've a bf who is sometimes-patient, sometimes-sweet, sometimes-caring, all-time naggy, includes me in his plans, very accommodating and always seek for improvement! What more can i ask?

=x

Maybe it'd be better without the "sometimes"

*pat pat*

It's okay, darling.

You tried.

LOL!

A horrifying night

2009-02-23T12:01:00.006+08:00

After staying up till 1am for Liverpool & Manchester City's match to end, i decided it's time for bed. I was not feeling tired as I did catch a few winks in the evening.

So I made my last order to Marilyn for online clothes and proceeded out of study-room for bed.

Off the lights, took my mobile phone and charged it next to me like i usually do at night before i sleep. I hugged my pillow and bolster and closed my eyes.

Just approximately 10 seconds after i closed my eyes, I hear voices.

Not one, not two, in fact, I'm not sure how many were there.

I tried to make out what they were saying and for some reason, i know they were talking to me. But i just couldn't make out what they were trying to say.

I opened my eyes and i saw weird images which i couldn't make out what is it.

It was blurred and yet, colourful.

I know it is a picture of something but I do not know what it is.

The voices continued on and for some weird reasons, I couldn't move.

I closed my eyes and opened again.

The image is still there, swirling in front of me.

I got so afraid that I struggled vigorously, determined to get out of that state.

I managed to turn and rest of my left.

I told myself not to panic, that it might just be my imagination.

And I closed my eyes again.

Nothing appeared and not a single sound could be heard for a minutes when i tried to go to sleep.

Then.. it came again.

The voices.

I hear more of the male voices.

Again, I couldn't move.

After a few minutes, I manage to sit up and catch my breath.

I looked at my mom, she was soundly asleep.

Then afterward, I manage to drift into slumber.

The next morning, I was awoken by my alarm. I messaged hubby to wake up.

5 minutes later, he replied, "10 minutes more."

So I slept a little longer before messaging him once again.

I got up to make breakfast.

After preparing and packing everything into a plastic bag, I began to wash the pots.

Then i hear..

"Knock, knock, knock"

3 times.

I thought it was hubby so i opened the door.

No one.

Then i realized.. that knock doesn't sounds like coming from my main door at all. it was something more hollow.

With a bad gut feeling, I pretended nothing happened...

Is my nightmare coming back again?

A little thought

2009-02-18T10:57:00.003+08:00

I wonder how it feels like to regret?

Is regretful an emotion?

For me, i guess... there are of course many things which i regretted. Like for not studying hard enough in Secondary school etc. But i guess, it's all over. I can only make do with what is given to me now and do my best.

Much as I want to console you as a friend... I'm sorry but I can't.

Life is beautiful.

There are many things to look forward to and many things to be learn.

Like you said before, both of us are someone who happens to touch and passes each other life for us to learn something in life.

I'd learned my lesson.

You'd given me confidence and for that, I'm grateful.

I'm sure one day when you are able to live the life of your own instead of others, you'd be a happier person. =)

Be appreciative of every little things in life.

For nothing last forever.

不听俐利言，吃亏在眼前

2009-02-15T11:31:00.003+08:00

不听俐利言，吃亏在眼前

It's proven. Really. To all of you who'd gotten advices from me before... isn't it true?

But you know what, what has happened has already happened. No point crying over spilled milk. Lick it. LOL!

Okay, but point is, if there's no remedy for the situation, you know what you should do?

I'd bless you with two words.

"Move On"

Let me give you the ultimate secret of my 'move on' technique.

Hey, exclusively for my readers one okay! people and friends are always amazed by the way I manage to be positive and move on, so i shall share the ultimate secret. I'll give different scenarios in future. But let's start off with the most common scenario

could have but never had/ Got dumped
1) The most common 'get your butt moving' scenario
2) Convince yourself that you'd done your best and given the same situation again, you'd have made the same decision/choice (Trust me, this is the most important step. I always tell myself even if given in the same situation once again, I'd have done the same thing.)
3) Do whatever it takes for you to KNOW everything that had happened. (This is also important. Because you do not want to look back at the past anymore. So in order to do that and not leave any lingering unanswered questions, make sure you know what happened in the r/s.. why both of you broke up etc. YOU'VE EVERY RIGHTS TO KNOW!)
4) Given in the context that your ex-partner has a dick in his mouth or has some serious attitude problem with settling everything once and for all, just skip to point 5
5) Your ex-partner is a dick. CONGRATS! YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION! BUT forgive your ex-partner. Have the attitude that says, "Too bad". Of course, not asking you to be conceited etc. But do not allow your self-esteem to be lower down because of him/her! But anyway, bottom line is to forgive. I mean, we don't want to waste our emotions/time on stupid people, right?
6) Do not be stupid to delete the phone number from your phone. HELLO! Please!! As if you don't remember his/her number?!
7) Remove all the pictures/gifts etc from your room given by the ex-partner, dump it in a box and THROW AWAY. If you still have his/her stuffs in your room, use a permanent ink marker, write, "TOO BAD" and be nice, return it back to him/her
8) Do stuffs which you couldn't do before when you were in a r/s. ENJOY YOURSELF!
9) In any case, if your ex-partner contact you, sound like you've better things to do!
10) In no time, you'd get over the dick-head! YIPPEE! =) But what's most important is, BE DETERMINED AND ENJOY BEING SINGLE!

See, people. It's as simple as you look. Because it's all your head!!

Remember! If you got dumped and you'd done your best: YOU DESERVE BETTER AND YOU SHOULD NOT AND CANNOT BE SEEN IN THE DUMPS! THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE LOWERING HIS/HER HEAD AND EATING BANANA SKIN IS THE STUPID GUY/GIRL WHO DUMPED YOU! SO YOU KNOW WHAT?!

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND BE POSITIVE!

Because trust me...

The next person who is coming up next in your life, is going to be much better.

Wait and see

shucks

2009-02-13T11:36:00.003+08:00

我的华语真的是好差劲。其实，我好几年前就一直到这个悲惨的事实。

我必须用华语介绍新加坡。

简直是一场恶梦。我的作文真的是差到“今天是一个风和日丽的早晨。小明背着书包上学去。”　写一行就要查十次的字典。真是无可救药了。

为什么要这样折磨我？

It's for my singing class. I'm so afraid! shucks! I don't even know what's esplanade in mandarin! But now i know, all thanks to dearest Eric. =D

滨海艺术中心。

I think i better get back to cracking my brains to come out with my introduction. I'm in front of the computer for 2 hours and yet, there's just 8 sentence.

Oh No

i'm in for some big frying shit.

Random

2009-02-06T13:19:00.003+08:00

New year goods still sitting on the table in our living room.

It's beckoning to me each and everyday to gobble them up. If not, they are going to be left untouched. Poor thing.

And oh yes, the other time, i saw this cat clawing at a poor lizard. *cries* I was meeting ken and the cat was like chewing on the poor lizard!! I didn't dare to go near the cat and lizard so i asked Ken to scare the cat away. But the cat damn obstinate! The moment Ken go over, the cat goes away.. after 1 minute, he comes back to look for the lizard which is like struggling for it's life on the floor.

But the lizard didn't give up on itself.. it kept trying to crawl away...

I can imagine how the lizard feels. =( sigh.

Tim is another disgusting fella... going to into details of how his cat brings a cockroach or lizard to him after playing with it. -.-" And he was laughing when he told me about it.

And that leads me to wonder why lilin love cats so much. -.-"

puppies would be cuter. =D

And i wanna make something clear.

My previous post on "appreciation", got nothing to do with anybody okay! I'm not directing it at anyone, goodness!!!

Anyway, everything is solved and it feels so much more refreshing! ^^

I heard being bridesmaid too many of a times will leaves you being single for the rest of your life.

I wonder if it applies to emcees as well. =x

Rainy season recently...

I hate rainy days.

Cold and troublesome. I hate bringing umbrellas out.

Someone, invent something that can enable my hands to be free while leaving myself dry without looking stupid in the rain.

True Crimes

2009-02-04T10:13:00.005+08:00

For all of you people who know me well, you should know i'm very much into serial murderers.

No, it's not because I want to be one of them but I'm just interested in the way they think.

I came across this website:

http://people.howstuffworks.com/serial-killer.htm

How-Stuff-Works actually have information on how serial killer works!

I'm very much intrigued by the "why" question. That's pretty much why I love reading true crime stories because... can you imagine yourself dissecting anybody? I think dissecting a frog even is disgusting for you, don't even talk about a human body.

So why?

What's so "special" about them that they can just dissect, murder, eat etc humans?

What are they thinking?

Can you imagine yourself killing your parents?

I don't think so.

But well, they did:

http://www.truecrimeweblog.com/2008/03/caffey-family-murders.html
http://www.unsolvedmysteries.com/usm189366.html

Can you imagine yourself eating another human?

http://crime.about.com/od/serial/a/dahmer.htm
http://crime.about.com/od/serial/p/albertfish.htm

I believe people will get lonely sometimes... but would you kill for company?

He did:

http://hellhorror.com/killers/serial_killer/16/dennis-nilsen.html

I'm of course, not a sadist and all but If i could.. I want to be a forensic psychologist.

Oh well..

If only i live in America.

Do you really know me?

2009-02-04T09:24:00.006+08:00

It always amaze me how people can compare one for one on everything.

You know why it amazes me?

Because everyone is unique and different. How the hell you compare? It's just the same as parents. I'm sure all of you are familiar with the, "You look at ah Gou! He scores 6 straight As! You?!"

Can!!! You put Ah Gou's brain into your child's head loh! Confirm can one!

You might as well exchange the whole body!

Everybody have their own strengths and weakness.

If up till now, you people who have been close to me don't know me well... then something is wrong somewhere.

1. I may seem ignorant doesn't mean I really am.
2. I may seem I'm okay with it doesn't mean I really am too.
3. I can give and put in efforts but i need appreciation
4. I don't look back and name out ALL the stuffs I gave to you and expect returns.

I'm going to RE-EMPHASIZE on my first point.

I may seem ignorant doesn't mean i really am.

You may think on the surface I do not care but I do. If up till now, you think I can totally forget and get over our friendship for the past years, then.. you must have got the wrong person.

I value friendship and family. Because of them, I am standing where I am today.

I'd not forget every single helping hand that had been reached out to me.

I have my circle of friends, you have yours.

If you want me to name out things that I am unhappy about our friendship, I could have name out a few which i think up till now, you still do not know about it but i refuse to rake up all the past incidents. There are times that you meet up with your circle of friends to activities that I asked you to go but you didn't want to. I was unhappy. But I don't make a fuss out of it. Because life is yours. You can go out with whoever you want to and do whatever you like. I'd never said things like, "Why you go out with blah blah blah, but not with me?"

I think this is not the first time i handle such issues.

People, what is your real definition of friends?

I've plenty of friends whom I'd not even met for months.

I have a busy schedule. I have singing classes, 2 dance classes, my school which take up another 2 more days. I don't even have time to go out with my bf on a decent date unless one of the class got postponed etc. If you are frustrated about my schedule, ME TOO!

You think I don't like to hang out? You have your schedule, I have mine. If our schedules do not allow us to meet, what can I do??

My only free day is Wednesday for me to pak tor.

I have so many things and issues to handle. I can't possibly remember every single details and all.

The only time i met dear after months is when another friend of ours went through a break up.

That's it!

Most of the time, we chat in MSN. The same goes for lilin. I meet her like after don't know how many donkey months.

Does that mean I don't care?

Do i look like the kind that "Oh, now I have dear, the rest can just go away." ?

And I'm not the kind to immediately update anybody when something happens unless it's really HUGE like i'm going to be a star or something.

It had never occurred to me to message you that I'm bringing my mom to the salon because I'm only sending here there and I'm off.

Friendship to me is just simple..

Sharing and being there.

That's it. Why is it that it has to be made so complex?

I don't ask for you to update me the moment something happen too. I believe there are number of times you choose to update your bf first or other friends which I'm fine with it. Because it may just happen that you are online and that something happen... then another good friend of yours is online so you update her immediately.

I mean, do we really have to be so fussy over little things like this?

If I'm really ignorant about our friendship.. in the first place, could i have been bothered to read your blog and post such a long post on it.

You should know me. If i really don't care, i seriously don't. I won't even bother to write a single sentence on it.

If you think you are the only one experiencing the "Why you didn't send me our pictures.", you can ask my mom. It takes me 2 years to upload our pictures into the computer. I'm just me. I always procastinate. I'm not saying that it's not important or anything like that. Like i said in my previous post, if we meet up and take pictures, I'd upload the pictures into facebook as well because now, i can just stick the memory card into the computer slot and upload ALL.

I hate sending through msn and emails because it takes forever. I'm impatient. I can't stand waiting.

Not sending you pictures does not mean I do not care about you.

Goodness!

Seriously NO LINK!

Do you see a SINGLE link?

I do not wish to go on a continuous blog-battle with you because it'd go nowhere.

Conclusion of this WHOLE friendship: I cherish and value every friendships i have. Not sending you pictures DOES NOT equate to I can't be bothered. I don't wish to rake up all of our history and debate about it because it'd be pointless. What's over is over. If i keep arguing with you over past issues which actually, I don't even quite remember much because I don't like to remember unhappy stuffs, It'd be endless. If you feel that I'm not good enough to be your sis/friend etc, I'd respect that.

----Ended----

Appreciate

2009-02-03T11:39:00.007+08:00

I wonder how many times had we taken people for granted.

I think everyone is guilty of that.

Like for example:

1. Your mom who does the laundries, housework, cooking etc
2. Advices and company from friends.
3. Everyone's presence
4. The computer you are using now, furniture, beds, food etc.
5. peace

And the list goes on.

Everyone thinks that everyone lives forever. Hence, we'd quarrel and argue like nobodies business until something happens.

What if i tell you, *touch wood*, today would be the last day you are able to hold your gf/bf's hands?

Or.. the last day your mom is going to cook a meal for you?

Every effort counts. Whether the food is nice or bad, it's just the result. But everybody forgets, it's the effort and journey that matters. It's the process.

Do you have any idea how much time is needed to prepare ingredients for cooking? Or do you know, how many times had your parents/whoever who does the cooking scalded his/her hands while cooking a homely meal for you just to hear complains like, "eee.. too salty."

At the end of the day, they just need a hug or a simple thank you.

Of course, I don't ask for you to say "thank you" every now and then after every meals. But what I'm saying is, rather than complaining, you could have compliment and comment.

Comment in the sense that you say things like, "ai seh! Very nice leh the chicken wings. But if you fry a little more longer, it'd be much better."

We are too busy and stress out in work/school etc to notice the little efforts that people put in.

Admit it, there are times, not only you failed to appreciate but you complained.

Please be reminded that it's not your mom's obligations to cook for you. She can jolly well ask you to da bao home.

Like i said in my previous post, no one is obligated to take care of you or to love you.

And therefore, every each and single person who step into your life and make an effort, they did it out of love and concern. So? Appreciate it.

A simple thank you will do.

Even when my dad pass me chopsticks, I make a point to say thanks. Or a grateful smile will do.

And do all of you know how much time is needed to wash your clothes?

An average person have minimum 4-6 pieces of clothing to wash a day. Count how many people are there in your family and how many pieces of clothes your mom has to wash.

And how many times had you complained that the stain is still there or throw tantrum just because you can't find your clothes, accusing them of misplacing it?

Again, it's not their duty to wash your dirty clothes.

Anyone can just leave your dirty set of clothes in the toilet and who cares if you run out of clothes? I'm not wearing em'

Your parents are only human, and every human make mistakes. We are not perfect, so what makes you think our parents are perfect?

Give them a break, people.

And your friends?

How many times had you asked for their advices and ended up, couldn't care less? If you think giving advices is just as simple as spelling out L-O-V-E, think again.

I give advices all the time. What makes you think that I've nothing else better to do than to listen to your problems and think of solutions for you? I believe that everyone who gives advices understands that... you are laying out your time, listening to your friends etc, thinking up of what-to-do at the expense of your problems and time.

It might not be obvious, but then again, no one is obligated to.

They can choose to tune out. Ignore. Tell you, "I've better things to do."

Don't you think they deserve appreciation?

I admit, I am guilty of that too. And i believe everyone is. Because all of us.. once we get comfortable with an individual, we tend to forget about little things like this.

All of us are humans. We give and receive. Learn to give and receive.

And anyway, favours are never-ending.

There's no one-to-one.

It's not like exchanging of Christmas presents.

Once you learn to give willingly, you'll expect no return.

But then again, everyone gets tired and frustrated someday.

So?

Appreciate. It all boils down to "appreciation".

Once you appreciate, it's sufficient.

Morale of this post?

"All of us gets busy yesterday, today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. But never fail to stop and observe.. who are the ones who make a pause in their journey in life to make a difference in yours."

Auditions

2009-02-03T09:53:00.004+08:00

Does anyone has a remedy for stage fright? Or is there such a thing as audition fright?

For some reason, be it acting or singing, in front of an audience, my usual form will be deemed as non-existent.

The first audition i had was in MediaCorp. You should have seen me struggling to memorise the scripts. I had to memorise the entire 4 pages long script in less than 30 minutes. For a forgetful person like me, it's impossible. I was totally unprepared because I didn't even know i have to memorise scripts!

I still remember the contents actually. It's about this siblings sitting in front of the TV, eating popcorn and talking about their mom in hospital.

After I was done with the script, they showed me into a room with a camera filming on me. And I'm suppose to act solo with another girl talking out loud the male's part from behind the camera. So it's ridiculous because I'm like acting with a camera? Can you imagine you have to express yourself to the air when you are supposed to talk to a person as per the script? You know what's the worst part? The worst part is...

The script is in Chinese.

I'm not even sure if they know what I'm talking about because if they do, I'd be amazed. Even I myself am unsure what I'm talking about. But it was a really enjoyable experience and also a lesson well-learnt. To be prepared for all auditions be it big or small.

But anyway... I got to act with Tay Ping Hui and Alan Wu.

It was darn early in the morning.. I'd to reach MediaCorp by 930 -10am for make-up, changing of clothes and all. I took my script from the receptionist and began memorising my lines. It's a really fun experience because you get to see the back-scene work. The director is really very nice and along with the other team members, they were very patient with me.

There are times I walked the wrong way. Oops. Okay, it's only one time alright. The cable was on the floor. Goodness.. and I almost tripped on it. And they have to secure a small microphone into my clothes but it was a little awkward because the one doing it for me is a man.

There was this extra who claimed that he just came out of mental hospital. He was like "Eh, don't tell anyone okay." For an extra role, he told us that his friend claimed he can be famous by being the extra in the entertainment industry. And then he'd be stuck with $3 an hour. LOL! Yes, that's how much an extra is paid. You just sit at the background and don't talk. And you know what he did? He went to talk to Alan who was innocently just messaging with his phone. He said, "Eh, I have this phone too!" Alan was like, "Errr... okay.." At last, he wanted to take pictures with Alan. Yes, I was the one who took the picture for him. And no.. I didn't take pictures with the actors. All i did was chat with tay ping hui. We were getting ready to film and things were not ready yet so he asked me if it was my first time acting and so on.

Anyway, that's my first acting experience.

Second acting experience was with elvin ng, another man and another lady whom i don't remember the names. Yes! Elvin Ng is so charming! But initially, I didn't know who he was. We were filming in Suntec and you should have seen how the lady stopped the people from walking to our filming area. Quite hilarious. It was like 10am in the morning and people were rushing to go work. If i were them, I'd be pissed.

I goofed up on practically all my auditions if you were to ask me. Especially singing. For some reason, I'd be so afraid, my throat refuse to work with me.

And the most stupid thing was (As said by my singing teacher), when given a second chance by the judges, I said, "it's okay." and i just walked out.

Alright, it was dumb.

And there was this time, my audition is held on the third floor and i had to climb flights of stairs before reaching. By that time, I was too exhausted to perform. And you know what i sang? FIR - Ni hen ai ta. But the judges are really very patient with me and all. I'm really thankful for that.

I learnt something from my dance courses as well.

People who are too embarrassed to dance "big" are the ones who'd be looking stupid.

Really.

You'd look like a frail woman dancing. Anyway, everyone is there to learn, so just do your best. If you think by dancing "small", you won't get laughed at, think again.

I kinda miss acting though. But i can never make sense of the acting lessons. Like there was this part, the teacher asked us to act out how we want to stage our death. I was like.. "huh??"

But i really enjoy modelling just that I'm too short for the runway. sigh.

Someone, please, help me to grow taller.

But anyway, ultimately, what i wish to gain is experience.

You are only young once so TRY EVERYTHING!!!

Great Weekend!

2009-02-02T15:21:00.012+08:00

I'd remembered something over the weekend. Something in which i almost forgot through out these few months. And it's a very valuable lesson learned from my previous relationship. "If a dream requires sacrifices from my loved ones, then it's not my dream." Ultimately, my loved ones are my dreams and future.

On Saturday, we went for karaoke singing with mom and her friends. Mom simply love to embarrass me.

hubby was unpacking his stuffs so it took quite a while for us to head down to bukit batok to join her. And she kept messaging me saying, "Why aren't you here yet?"

When i replied her, "It's only singing.. no need to be so gan chiong."

She replied, "All of them waiting for you to sing leh!"

Probably, she went around telling her friends that I'm a good singer again which is completely untrue. Afterwards, we went for community dinner.

Mom and Me

God-father and God-mother

hubby and me (I've no idea what the woman behind me was trying to do)

Mom was complaining about my clothes. The moment she saw me wearing the pink dress, she said, "Wei.. you wore this dress for last year's community dinner. And you wore it for last year new year as well. And another occasion, wedding. Why you keep wearing this dress? People would think you have no other dresses to wear. See, i've good memory."

Me: I'm sure they have better things to remember rather than this.

Dishes arrived at 820pm. Goodness! I was starving by then.

Anyway, after that, hubby and I changed.. and we were all set for:

City Alive 2009!!

Great music and great atmosphere! It's very grand and enjoyable! I had fun dancing and acting all crazy.

Sigh. Hubby and buddy's eyes got real pampered by the beauties in City Alive. But goodness!! The ladies there are really hot and sexy!!! *look at myself* sigh

I wore this shirt to the event and hubby was like, " -.-" Goodness!!!!" Because it's suppose to be a shirt but i wore it as a dress. so you can imagine how short it is. Okay, wait, don't imagine.

Buddy didn't dare to dance at first because he was too SHY! LOL!

OH! But there are a number of hunks there too! Erm.. well.. not that I'm looking.. but.. ahem.

Okay, ANYWAY... If you missed the event, GOODNESS! What were you DOING?!

But the music at the second half was quite disappointing....

Anyway, hubby had moved in to my block! Woot! That means........ we can go stroll in the park more often, talk more often, meet up more often and see each other more often! Wee!!

And it's great for him as well because he don't have to travel back to Clementi after sending me home. Isn't that every bf's dream? =x

Oh, and we had family steamboat dinner!

And it was quite hilarious because of my beloved parents.

Mom has always been very gan chiong type and dad, very patient. So one is very gan chiong, putting all the fish balls etc in while dad was like, "CAN WAIT ANOT! You think what? Magic ah?"

She expected the soup to boil immediately.

And we were talking about "ren ri" Dad says that Sunday (1 Feb), is the day that people traditionally will eat "qi dao cai" (7 vegetables). But in mandarin, it can be interpreted as 7 dishes.

it's supposingly to bring healthiness to you after eating it. But of course, it's not just any grass that you find in the park. It's specific 7 kinds of vegetables.

Mom was darn hilarious.

After we explained, she began counting from.....

and she said, "我们实际上吃了七种菜. 你们数"

Dad: She don't know anything and she anyhow shoot.
Me: *burst out laughing"

And we'd two plates of vegetables on the table.

Bro: What's this?
Mom: Dang oh
Bro: it's disgusting!!!
Mom: No leh! Your sis like to eat
Me: *look up* eh! What! Since when?!
Bro: -.-"
Mom: Your mei mei like dang oh!
Me: I didn't say i like okay!
Mom: I thought you like to watch 王子变青蛙? The guy's name is call dang oh right?
Me: -.-""""""""""""""""
Bro: -.-"""""""""""
Alex: *struggle not to laugh*
Me to bro: She never fails to amaze me with her excuses.
Mom: 好吃. Good for health
Bro: Really? Good for which part of the body?
Mom: ...... It's really nice. *turn to me* Eat eat. dang oh.
Me: it's YAN XU loh!!!!
Bro: YES YES! IT TASTE LIKE YAN XU!
Me: -.-""""""

her final verdict of the night?

Mom: It's dang oh.

Someone...

help her

A busy week ahead

2009-02-02T09:34:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling tired and restless... because of SOMEONE who enjoys watching LP so much at the expense of my beauty sleep. *yawn* Puffy eyes.

School starts again today. Sometimes, i feel that my entire week is so organized because of all the classes and lessons that there's no room for me to breathe at all. I wanna PAK TOR!!! $%^&*(

i realized something about most people...

People are quick to judge and complain but are never quick to stop and think.. to compliment.

They'd give a silent nod or think to themselves, "Oh, she is good." and made a silent acknowledgment about it.

Why, people?

We should appreciate every single things in life.

If we keep stopping to look, judge and complain about everybody's flaws, we are never going to have any friends etc. Because no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws.

The way to be happy is to overlook and accept the flaws while complimenting on the good sides of one.

I'm not saying that if your loved ones go and steal etc, u stand by there and overlook everything.

No.

I'm sure there are certain flaws in your loved ones that you couldn't tolerate. Like, for example... If your bf/gf is always late.. you know that it's not only going to affect your personal timing when meeting him/her, it's going to affect his/her career etc.. sound it out and IMPROVE.

But those little little small flaws like for example, maybe he/she is a little messy (ahem), then it's okay. *whistle*

The same goes for friends.

You can't expect your friend to be 24/7 on standby. Your friend has to get on with his/her life, you have yours. Doesn't mean that your friend doesn't care if he/she can't meet you on that day.

Think of it this way..

Life is your own.

It's yours, and only has you and only concerns you.

No one has any obligations to care about your life. Not even your family, friends etc.

So don't expect anyone to. If you can't take care of yourself, too bad. You don't go blaming other people for your own mistakes. And if you are stuck in a rut, too bad. Life is yours. What do you expect? Other people to live it for you?

Friends, bf/gf, husband/wife, family are only there to walk ALONGSIDE you through your journey. They have no obligations to stay with you throughout either. People come and go.

If you keep having the thought that, "why there are times when i need her, she is not with me? She is my best friend!" if not, "Why can't she meet me?" if not, "why can't she do this do that do this do that?"

What do you think you are doing?

DIY best friend?

You can't control what other people do.. you can control what you are doing. You don't expect everyone to behave the same way as you do and react the same way as you do when the same situation arise. Everybody cares/do/say things differently from each other. Accept it. If you can't, move on.

If you can't move on, thinking that the person does have good sides too, then why the hell are you concentrating on all the bad?

Some people are weird.. up till now, i don't see a need to make a fuss.

Like.. uploading of pictures.

I only took pictures with her BEFORE i used facebook. I don't go uploading every single historical and ancient pictures i have in the facebook. If i were to meet her now and we take pictures, yes, I will upload within one day because facebook is easy to upload pictures. Is there a need to make a huge fuss over it?

Each time I asked her out, she'd last minute tell me, "Oh, i'm sick." and ended up where she went? Her bf's house to have dinner. I don't even dare to count how many times was that. Did i get angry or make noise over it? No. I could have. I chose not to.

This kinda small little stuffs do not have to be blown up like it's the end of the world.

Times when I was with her, spent bloody hell lots of time helping her, messaging her, 24/7 by my phone to reply her messages, did she appreciate it? Does she remember?

No.

But she chose to look at all the times i did not upload my pictures and couldn't meet her.

People, look here.

Everyone has flaws. Everyone is BOUND to do something which is going to make you bloody unhappy.. doesn't mean you go jumping down everyone's throat.

Another example, back in secondary school days, I'd this good friend of mine. I kept lending her money, each day, there goes $4 out of my pocket. Everything we eat, I'd be paying. She'd say, "Can you help me pay first?" and she'd NEVER return. Up to now, not a single cent. I would say the total amount can go up to $500 - $700.

But up till now, before that incident that happened last week, I was still contacting her.

Why?

There was even once, i suspected her of stealing my stuffs (Which is obviously her). + She never return a single cent to me + 80% of the time, she'd last minute on that day MIA when I'm suppose to meet her etc.

I chose to overlook everything because she has a good sides too.

If you want to be pissed over small little things and fuss about stuffs like this, i can assure you.. you'd never find a life-time friend.

Because no one is good enough for you.

And look at yourself.. don't you have flaws too?

I admit, i have flaws. I tend to procastinate. I'm quick tempered. I'm impatient. I'm bossy. I'm competitive.

Does that make me the worst person on earth? Because if you ask anyone who'd crossed path with me... you ask anyone who'd tell you, "I'd been Li Li's friend and she had not done ANYTHING that makes me think she is a nice person."

Because i believe anyone that has crossed path with me will know I always put in effort. I might not have time to meet you doesn't mean I'm ignorant about your stuffs. Times when i helped you.. do you remember a single thing? Do you go, "Thanks!" Do you go, "There are good sides of her too." when we had a tiff? Because I do.

I always overlook stuffs which i can overlook.

Because only that way, i'm a happy person.

So people, morale of the story..

Everyone is special. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has good sides of them. All it takes is to concentrate on the good sides.

Like a vase. One side is cracked, the other side is still intact. You want to throw it away but you find that this vase is hard to come by and you really love it alot. So do you go decorating it on your table with the cracked side facing you? And each time you walk by, you go, "Seriously, the stupid crack.."

Why can't you just turn the good side to you and appreciate the good sides?

Think.

Things I want to accomplish If I know I Only Have 10 Days To Live

2009-01-30T11:55:00.003+08:00

Things I want to accomplish If I know I Only Have 10 Days To Live

1. Go on a Roller-Coaster ride, 360 degrees
2. Perform on stage
3. Read 10 more true crime stories
4. Drink as much 3-in-one coffee as possible
5. Go on a movie marathon
6. Take part in Sports Day
7. Cook a feast for myself full of potatoes, vegetables, mushrooms and all my favourite dishes
8. Play as many games as possible and try out Resident Evil 5
9. Go on a shopping spree and buy as many things as I like!
10. Go to Zoo, Night Safari and Sentosa
11. Go party every night!!
12. Get my hair done, manicure, pedicure, eyelash perm and extension
13. Buy a water bed!!
14. Have a big gathering!
15. Learn all sorts of dances (POLE DANCE!)
16. Buy all the latest gadgets!
17. Act like a crazy fool in public, laugh as loud as I want
18. Compose 10 more songs
19. Hug my loved ones
20. Happy

World Of Love

2009-01-29T13:52:00.006+08:00

Indulge in a world of Love
Oblivious to surrounding tears and fears
Sacred stones and rusty cards
Emerge from chest 10 pence worth

Children dance, people sing
Ignore the cries "Come help me"
Dance as they may to welcome life
The source of love and dying pain

Skies bathed in red, ocean in black
as lightning creep into the lonesome night
Come as you might, come to my sight
Walk into the blazing light

For I will drain life of endless hatred
And bestow love that you search
The joy of every single word
Of the world, the world of Love.

Accept the pain, my dear
For stronger as you may will diminish fear
As night and day, come year by year
Non-existent is endless tears

For nothing or one is here to stay
But come my child, don't be afraid
For at night in hay you rest and lay
Someone else is guiding the way

My ideal world

2009-01-29T13:45:00.005+08:00

I always immerse myself in a world of imagination that has no pressure, stress, burden, responsibilities...

Helping people with no responsibilities

Loving people with no pain

No fears and tears but joy and laughter.

Trusting people without a second thought

Believe that everyone is good by nature.

Tell with no hidden feelings.

I love to live in this kinda world.. Don't you?

Positive

2009-01-29T10:00:00.003+08:00

It's challenging.

For those who don't know me well enough, maybe this post will give you the chance to.

I shall come clean with all of you:

The one and only Me
1. I love attention and I need attention
2. I'm quick and bad tempered.
3. Efficient, loves to analyze and detailed.
4. Always consider consequences and all possible "what ifs"
5. Sentimental and clingy
6. Competitive with a must-win attitude
7. Protective of loved ones
8. Give 100% effort or nothing at all
9. Easily discouraged but quick to be motivated
10. Love to make friends
11. Very humble
12. Sympathetic and empathetic
13. Willing to sacrifice for my loved ones
14. Love to be appreciated as it serves as motivation
15. Always willing to lend a listening ear even thou from someone i don't like.
16. Forgiving but never forgets
17. Will not let matters rest till it's solved
18. Righteous
19. Perfectionist
20. Never forgets

As you can see, my biggest biggest huge flaw is bad and quick tempered which i don't deny is the biggest huge fat of stone in front of my path be it personal or career.

And the easiest way to flare me up is to step on my loved ones' tails.

I love to give my all. I don't see it as, "I have to" but i see it as , "I want to".

But once i give my all and I don't see enough appreciation, I'd be easily discouraged and go back to my little hole to hibernate.

I don't care about the past. But if i realized that it's got something to do with personal growth etc, I'd not let it go easily.

I strive for 100%. Once i see things unsettled, I'd not rest. I'll keep ranting on and nagging for it to be solved because i hate for things to be hanging there.

I don't like to bottle up my feelings. I don't like to fake. I don't like to put on a mask. Don't like means I don't like. Like means I like. I'm quick to judge. Quick to complain. Quick to comment. Quick to compliment.

I love music because it's the only time i can indulge myself in my imagination and fantasies to escape the real world.

I am sarcastic. In fact, I can be super sarcastic.

I love to entertain. Talented in anything that is musical. I love poems. I love letters. I'm just an old sentimental fool who loves anything that is hand-made.

Feeling down but I'd survive and I'll get through this.

Things can't be that bad. I just have to look for the slightest glint of light at the end of the tunnel.

I just have to keep myself going and tell myself everything will be alright. After all, nothing is impossible. I just have to keep my energy level up and be positive. Things will certainly turn up for the better.

I'm sure.

Brilliant!!!

2009-01-28T11:29:00.005+08:00

Okay, at last, it's done. Like I said, this is only temporary. I'm going to get my blogskin done when I have the time.. which is like going to take me a few months time. But at least, this is presentable isn't it?

Those of you who love the song in my blog, as you can see, it's called "Dream of Happiness". If you like this kinda genre of songs, I have the whole album. You can come get it from me.

I'm very generous, won't bite. Unless you step on my tail.

She just did last week.

Sometimes, people, when you lie, please *keep my fingers crossed*, TRY HARDER. If it takes for you to draw up a mind map or whatever "To Lie To Li Li" Plan, PLEASE GO AHEAD. Eh, come on loh. Not only it makes you look stupid, it makes me look stupid too.

Do i look like i'm so GULLIBLE? goodness!

This girl whom I know since Secondary school, seriously, each time she lies, I'd squeeze my eyes shut, pinch myself to check whether I'm in a nightmare.

She asked us out and then, she played MIA. Then it's okay.

She lied to us saying she was in hospital and that she could not attend to her phone. When asked when she got admitted into hospital, she said one week ago cos she had gastric problems.

The first question that came into mind is:

"What brand model is your phone ah?!"

I ALSO WANT! The battery can last for ONE WEEK LEH! Ai seh!

Second question:

"Your gastric infested with MAGGOTS IS IT?!"

She thinks I'm dumb.. as if i'd no history of gastric problems and she should know better than to lie to this extend! Goodness!!!

Third question:

"ARE YOU DUMB?!"

I mean, if you can't lie, freaking don't lie lah!

Eh, hello. You can't make it, just say can't make it. Why do you have to lie to this extend?

I don't even have to think more than 2 seconds to know she's lying!

I should have just left her to get beaten to death in the LRT during secondary school days. I must be blind to help her.

I still can't believe it

Handphone's battery can last for a week.

*shake head*

BLOODY BRILLIANT!

*applaud*

Even I can't think of it.

*Roll eyes*

2009-01-28T11:12:00.004+08:00

Changing my template because i stupidly delete my codes. And i'm lazy to do up a new one. Not like I've alot of time to sit in front of the computer to trial and error the whole day.

Goodness.

Happy New Year everyone!

2009-01-25T23:29:00.008+08:00

I am tired.. yawning.. but i still can't sleep yet because after today, i realized in future, i should keep my mouth shut.. I bet with mom AGAIN.. it's the same old bet. Whoever sleeps first pay the winner $50. Looks like I'm going to lose soon. It's so unfair. I've an injured eye and two injured ears... I can hardly keep my left eye open. Seems like the end of my eyes got sewn together. Again, when i took off my contacts, i went to pull apart the lids and i almost died from the pain. It's like your wound is recovering and the skin are like pulling itself together.. then you forget all about it and went to pull it apart again. sob.

I'm trying hard not to scratch my wounds BUT IT'S REALLY ITCHY!

After i grumbled and grumbled, mom eventually went with dad and I to Chinatown. Initially, i thought it was still at the same old place which is at City Hall. When we alighted the bus, i knew it was too quiet for it to be held there but dad didn't believe me. He continued to walk on at the expense of my aching feet. (mom was happily, "I told you not to wear heels right!") So anyway, i asked, "Eh, don't have anything lah. I think it's at Chinatown." Dad said, "Have! I see blue lights!"

I replied, "Pa.. that's the esplanade......"

So he was convinced after we practically reached Esplanade. So, we took a bus to Chinatown to woot! Squeeze with sweaty people!

I realized actually, practically all the stalls sell the same thing.

*yawn*

My mom is darn hilarious. She just asked, "Do you have any shoes or heels to throw away?"

GOODNESS! I ONLY HAVE ONE PAIR OF HEELS! And one pair of track shoes. One pair of slippers. what she wanna throw away ah?!

I realized coffee has absolutely no effect on me. I still feel lethargic.

It's not fair. She can pretend to meditate, then fall asleep on the chair. Anyway, i won't be able to tell if she is awake or asleep. Cheater.

sigh. goodness.. I'm really falling asleep.

I'm off to play games to keep myself awake.

At least, i hope it would.

Love

2009-01-13T15:34:00.003+08:00

I've listened and faced quite a number of r/s issues on hand for these few months. I'd like to share with all of you something which I came across from the internet which i find it meaningful:

1. Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
2. Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.
3. Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
4. You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel
5. Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.
6. Sometimes what you want isn't always what you get, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted
7. When I say I love you. You say you don't deserve it. When I say I need you . You say I deserve someone better, When I say my life is better with you. You say I don't know any better. But when I kiss you, you say I love you, When I have to go, you say I need you. When I am with you, you know, that there is no better feeling then our love coming together and that is something we both deserve.
8. You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
9. Everything is alright in the end. If it's not alright, then it's not the end
10. If you want the rainbow, you must first go through the rain

I heard of break-ups, heard of "If only...", heard of, "why?", heard of, "I thought"...

It's weird that people don't cherish who/what they have till it is gone.

And it is weird that people choose to go after things/people who are beyond reach and choose to neglect the ones who are with them all along.

I guess people just have to wait till they lose someone to know how much the person means to them.

Each of us just have to cherish our lives as if we are going to die tomorrow and should always live our life to the fullest. Get a hobby. Do something you really like and have passion for. If anyone step on your tail, just voice out and do whatever you like to make yourself happy but of course, not something immoral lah ok. Like if someone cut your queue and you si bei buay song that person, just step on the person's foot (accidentally of course) if it makes you feel better rather than to sulk the whole day or meal just because of a stranger.

Somethings and some people are just not worth for our time and emotions.

Certain things just have to be taken as a pinch of salt but of course, some things which should be taken seriously, you should.

Guess good judgements play a very important role.

If you have not have goals in your life, DO IT NOW.

We should not be living for the sake of living. If we do not have goals/plans, we are just blindly follow what is presented to us at that moment which we might regret later.

Sacrifices are never sacrifices if it's worth-while.

Sacrifices would merely be just something that can be dealt with later or some other time or something not as worth while as whatever you desire at that present moment.

There shall be no committment because committment is a chore.

A relationship is not about fulfilling a committment but a promise between the hearts. (I did not get it from quote books okay.)

One should not ever look back but look towards the future. The past shall serve as a lesson learnt but the future will bring whatever you hope and dream of. You can never change the past because the past are nothing but memories. You can change the present and future. So why look back on something you can't change?

Being in a relationship is about building trust because we can't be 24/7 with our partners. But of course, trust is not easily built. It may take 5 years, may take 10 years.. but why not if the r/s is going to last for the lifetime? What is 10 years compared to 75 years? (in my context)

Like i told my friend, she asked, "How to make him trust me?"

First, it takes time. Second, prove that you are worth trusting. Third, Don't open yourself up to possibilities of being in a situation you don't wish to be in. Fourth, wait for incidence to happen.

It's true. Sometimes, challenges have to occur for both parties to take their level of trust towards each other up one level.

It may take 10 years to build trust but it only takes one day to break it.

Have all of you watched dramas?

In most happy endings, the female and male lead get together and all.

The rest are just extras.

They are just there to set up the climax and all to strengthen whatever bond there is between the female and male lead.

Life is merely just a stage.

You set the guidelines, the story, the plan...

the rest are history.

Busy

2009-01-12T19:15:00.002+08:00

Busy busy busy.

I've so many things to do, so little time.

Please people, do something constructive.

Don't waste your time on trivial matters.

*shrug*

Speak for yourself

2009-01-05T13:12:00.004+08:00

Poor mom told me someone gave her attitude and pretend not to know her while in the saloon. And furthermore, the person who gave attitude claims I have attitude problem! Goodness!

Perhaps you would like to add your attitude problem into your New Year Resolution list. I chided you for nuts? I don't recall showing you attitude in the first few messages. You were the one who gave attitude in your FIRST message.

I tried my best not to blog anything and all but yet since you want to make things big, as you wish.

But i believe i did nothing wrong on that day such that you've to indirectly shoot me by saying, "You didn't even tell me you are coming down" and for nuts, my mom don't deserve to be treated this way.

And you might think there's nothing wrong with telling the hairstylist about my hair condition but it's my privacy.

If you think I have attitude problem, why not you ask your bf whether it's as big as yours. I doubt so.

I refuse to get upset and whatever on this small issue. I will comment no more on this.

New Year 2009 Resolution

2008-12-31T09:30:00.003+08:00

1. Save $ and not go on a shopping spree unless the occasion calls for it. (But I'm still going to get the tops from G2000)
2. Have better fashion sense and change of style. (Mom says I practically have the same range of dresses just that the only difference is the colour of the dresses)
3. Do SOMETHING to my terrible hair!
4. Clean up and decorate my room full of rubbish and even if there's a scrap of debris or dead rat, i won't be surprised.
5. Get a new phone to replace this STUPID K850i which shuts down by itself, lags, touchscreen spoilt and whole lot of other issues!
6. Get a mini cheap laptop to do my work.
7. Have 3 meals a day! (Okay, i know it sounds stupid to all of you out there but I usually only have like... 2 meals? At most?) I'm determine to start my morning cornflakes diet!
8. Put in MORE effort in my studies and i mean MORE! For no one but myself.
9. To learn ballet (And to those out there who goes "you are too old for that", "ballet are for people for have flexible body" and all... I'll make you eat your words in the form of garbage)
10. Improve on my vocal and perform on stage at least ONCE in Year 2009! I will practice and practice and practice till i PERFECT IT! To increase my vocal range and sing with better ease so i don't look like I'm having constipation when i hit high notes. =x
11. Broaden my vocabulary so my words won't be so limited. To improve on my English so SOMEONE won't have the chance to LAUGH at me. (I wonder who...)
12. To explore more of Singapore with darling! (I realized there's lots of places I'd not been to b4)
13. To work hard and play hard! Better time management skills and self-control
14. To save more money and plan out my budgets!
15. To improve on my temper! (I won't deny it is my biggest flaw and I'm proud of it. =x oops)
16. To read and collect more crime books! (Dad says I'm going to be featured in the book soon... as the victim.)
17. To irritate the people around me more.
18. EAT MORE DURIAN!
19. Force darling to eat peas, baby octopus, jelly fish and durian.
20. Live happily ever after

New Years Eve

2008-12-31T09:17:00.005+08:00

Hey everyone! I'd be uploading my Japan pictures soon.

You know I'm lazy... I mean, yes, I'd like to share but I'm just lazy.

And plus I'm kinda busy... you know... with other important stuffs... like..

sleeping and gaming?

Anyway, HEY EVERYONE! I took up Jazz Ballet! =D I'm SO excited! It's like my dream come true! I'd always wanted to perform in theatre and all. And I'm going to continue my singing in another school! WEEE!! And I'm going to do volunteering. I'm going to have a seriously hectic schedule next year. Oh ya! It's NEW YEARS EVE TODAY! I'm SO looking forward to year 2009. I'm so excited that I want to come out with my 2009 Resolution now!

Ok wait.

Let me finish this post and i shall start on my new year resolution list in the next post.

Erm...

finish.

-.-"

Shit. i sound lame.

Thank you!

2008-12-16T07:19:00.003+08:00

Thank you for everyone's concern. Don't worry, I'll be fine. =D

Like i always say, bad people won't die so fast. =x

Anyway, okay, I'll be okay. Christmas is COMING!!! I will celebrate Christmas till I'm 80 years old with each and everyone of you!

I'm going Japan. People, start telling me what you want me to get for you but I won't guarantee I'm able to get it because my parents are quite strict. Something which is not worth it or like we don't happen to walk pass it, I can't buy. So think of something more realistic. Food is the best. =x

I'm going to come up with a new year revolution. =D

*excited*

I'll definitely be fine. =D

Blood

2008-12-15T11:45:00.002+08:00

I puked blood...

Am i going to die?

Make up?

2008-12-08T11:02:00.003+08:00

I don't understand how some ladies are able to be so "hardworking", to be putting up layers of foundations, blusher, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, fake eyelashes, lip moisturizer, lip gloss blah blah blah and whatever that is to cover up your face. I can't do it!

Firstly, I'm too lazy. Just thinking about having to wash them off when i return from outside is enough for me to turn nua.

Secondly, waste money. Just seeing me name so many products you have to buy to create a perfect mask for your face, you can guess how much it roughly cost. So each time you put on one layer of mask, your face cost $50.

Thirdly, no time. I take 30 minutes to get ready to go out which includes choosing of clothes, bathing, combing and drying of hair, tie my hair, contact lenses and eyeliner. It already takes 30 minutes. How long does it take to make up and prepare? If i'm not wrong, judging from some of my friends, one and a half hour? Imagine the girl woke up late and the bf is waiting for her.

Bf: Eh, where are you? I'm here already.
Gf: Eh Shit! I just woke up! wait! Let me prepare!
Bf: Quick quick

- 2 and a half hours later -

Bf: where are you?
Gf: Just stepped out of the house
Bf: *curse and swear* What the hell have you been doing?
Gf: Prepare lah. Eh. Curl eyelash no need time ah? Foundation not applied properly so I clean my face and apply again.
Bf: *give up*

Actually, I also envy those girls have the time to put on make up so professionally and all. I can't lah. I want to sleep longer. I don't have the discipline to wake up on time. And i can't stand layers and layers of make up on my face. Makes me feel hot and i mean literally.

But if you notice.. some of them.. after putting on make up.. they went to take pictures.. you'll see the face and body different color one! =x

oops.

I noticed because I looked just like that in my dnd pictures! Goodness!

Someone. slap me. for being so observant.

Okay. Back to studying about children.

I know.

Don't ask.

And No.

Dogs are not linked to children.

Different chapters already

Yay!

2008-12-08T10:05:00.002+08:00

Darling is coming back today!

Woot!

Complain complain

2008-12-07T18:13:00.006+08:00

Darling said something that hit upon me to reality.

"If a person say he does not have time for you to spend more time with family, build his career, spend more time with friends etc... what makes you think he has the time to in future/after marriage? You mean he does not have a family after marriage? He don't have a career? He don't have friends? If he dun have the time now, he won't ever will."

Suddenly, reflecting upon it.. i realized certain truth in it.

I know what was darling trying to say and and i shall always remember this by heart.

Darling went back to Malaysia for cousin's wedding.

He pao qi me!!! *sob*

=x

I'm so going to get it from him. I can imagine what he is going to say:

"Eh simi! I asked you to come since my mom asked me to go back. Since when i pao qi you!"

aiya, that's besides the point. The point is i am still in Singapore typing this blog entry. =x

I'm going Japan soon! I'm so happy!! Going to be 12 degrees maximum over there and negative 2 over at Mount Fuji. Oh no. =( Am i going to freeze to death?

You know what is the most dreadful part?

When after you put on layers of clothing... and you go to the toilet...

Especially when you are in a rush to use the toilet.

Ai seh. Si bei shiok that one. =x You have to take out layers and layers of clothing.

song lah.

2008-12-07T16:09:00.006+08:00

I'm studying Applications for Psychology and came to a chapter of Positive Psychology. I learnt a few good quotes that i want to share with all of you.

"Great performers focus on what they are doing, and nothing else.... They are able to engage in a task so completely that there is no room left for self-criticism, judgment, or doubt; to stay loose and supremely, even irrationally, self-confident...They let it happen, let it go. They couldn't care less about the results." ~ Dr. John Eliot from Overachievement

"This is the manner of noble souls: they do not want to have anything for nothing; least of all, life. Whoever is of the mob wants to live for nothing; we others, however, to whom life gave itself, we always think about what we might best give in return... One should not wish to enjoy where one does not give joy." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche from Thus Spoke Zarathustra

"Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Learned helplessness is the giving up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn't matter. Explanatory style is the manner in which you habitually explain to yourself why events happen. It is the great modulator of learned helplessness. An optimistic explanatory style stops helplessness, whereas a pessimistic explanatory style spreads helplessness." ~ Martin Seligman from Learned Optimism

"The most enlightened people in the world embrace their full potential of light and dark. When you're with people who recognize and own their negative qualities, you never feel judged by them. It's only when people see good and bad, right and wrong, as qualities outside themselves that judgments occur." ~ Deepak Chopra from The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire

"Thinking is a habit, and like any other habit, it can be changed; it just takes effort and repetition."

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." ~ Marcus Aurelius from Meditations

I found one that i can use. =x

Be Unreasonable

"Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don't aim for it all, you'll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want." ~ Richard Koch from The 80/20 Principle

"Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible." ~ Viktor Frankl from Man's Search for Meaning"Be not afraid of going slowly but only afraid of standing still." ~ Chinese Proverb

Read more from this website: http://philosophersnotes.com

It's got really nice encouraging quotes. =D

Okay. I'm going back to study about dogs.

Don't ask.

Someone pls make my hair look longer

2008-12-07T12:51:00.006+08:00

I'm trying to control my expenses. Goodness. I tried my best not to even go window-shopping..
Then you know what i did? s

I bought clothes online!

SHIT!

I am beyond control! HOW! Please! Someone! Control me from spending! *pull hair*

Speaking of hair..

Me and my big mouth! I kept saying darling look like JC student. Now i look like one freaking JC student with my short hair! Shit! It's going to take months for my hair to grow to my expected length. *cries*

Everyone say i look like small kid. Black short hair. I really have a huge temptation of buying a wig to cover my hideous hair.

Actually isn't as short as it is but because of the LAYER! All the hairstylist fault! I want to cry.

I don't even dare look into the mirror. Every morning, when i brush my teeth.. i look into the mirror... and i think to myself..

"which idiot paste a hideous girl's face on the mirror?"

and then i realized..

"Shit.. it's me."

ARGH!

Someone! Please! Make my hair grow faster!

Lau Family going to JAPAN!!

2008-12-06T10:27:00.004+08:00

KBR DnD

2008-12-06T10:02:00.014+08:00

KBR DnD

p.s. All the pictures are uploaded randomly.

2008-12-01T20:42:00.003+08:00

Dad came and asked... "为什么你今天那么早回？"

I replied, "没有原因."

Then he said something in which I don't know whether to take it as a compliment anot..

Dad: 你那么早回来,很奇怪 leh...

Me: -.-"""

Being Naughty

2008-12-01T20:28:00.005+08:00

Feeling emotional lately. Maybe it's because my office environment makes me want to go around poking people's asses with needles. There's this strong urge to spend 5 hours collecting nails and secretly putting it on their chairs, hoping they'd feel the shioking pain. woot!

Sadist?

Not really. A few people over there enjoys people struggle with their work and yet don't bother, piling them with more work. Who is the real sadist then?

And how about the tiko man who shoot rubber band at my butt?

Does my butt has a sign that says, "Shoot here, win $50 for the right spot!"

Tmd. Never die before. Lao niang didn't show power, he thinks I'm a sick rabbit. Wait till i show power, he'll know Dinosaurs haven't really extinct after all.

And I find it darn unfair. Why everyone complain me and buddy take pics very close 2 each other but no one complain my good old bf take pics with other girls very close as well ah?

EH! What's up with all of you?

Not fair loh!

I only take close pics with buddy. He takes close pics with 4 girls in one day.

Simi sia. so unfair. *wails*

I want to PROTEST! And anyway, I couldn't be bothered with people misunderstanding.

Because i am LAU LI LI. And LAU LI LI don't go around assuring people who poke their stupid asses into people's problems to fart, get it?

What makes you think I'll entertain people who fart from their mouth and asses?

I have far more important things to do than to entertain these sort of people.

Like digging my ears for example.

Need i say more?

So?

2008-12-01T01:25:00.004+08:00

Learned from my previous r/s

Never to expect or hope for the future.

Because the future consists of uncertainties and if one is subjected to dreams/expectations/hopes, that individual is in for disappointment.

I'd put in so much effort, but so what?

Did it secure a committed heart and relationship?

No.

In return, all i got was tears and a huge heartbreak.

It's gonna take a long time to regain back confidence in r/s again.

Ignorance is a bliss eh?

Thanks, Clement, for your wonderful quote

Getting tired, getting old

2008-11-28T07:59:00.005+08:00

Feeling darn sleepy recently. I must have stepped on dog shit or something. My whole week was freaking suay. I got lectured twice in a week and have to do shitty jobs.

I'm running out of cash!

I don't even know where my cash gone to! I didn't buy any clothes or shoes.. that's weird.

I need to get a life.

I feel old.

Aw man.. and I'm only 21.

Tired

2008-11-21T03:17:00.006+08:00

It's 3.17am in the morning. I woke up at 2.15am to finish up my presentation slides for the presentation today. Feeling lethargic but I've no choice! I'm still 4 hours away from going to work.

Heard a lot at work but it doesn't scares me. Probably because I don't plan to stay there for long. To me, it's just a small stepping stone for me to get better jobs. Political issues. Women.. scary.

I've to write up an essay for my presentation. WHY?! Why are they so TROUBLESOME? 500 words. See, set limit again. I'm CONFIRM going to go over the limit and going to spend half the time deleting words.

Each time i thought of you...

I'd have a heavy feeling in my heart.

Probably because... you are one biggest regret that I ever had.

New Job: Marketing Officer

2008-11-18T21:37:00.006+08:00

Just reached home from work feeling lethargic.

But overall, it was a challenging day! Went for workshop and had discussion with my manager. Marketing officer... challenging but I'll by all means cope with it! Especially with people supporting me, I won't let all of you down! =D

And I would like to thank my darling for being such a darling! =x oops. Shall not go into details but the conclusion is, he's super sweet to me! (Finally) ahem

And buddy who came down specially to Jurong to dine with me after work! Thank you, buddy! =D

My company is at Toh Guan Road East. Quite secluded though. And quite a number of engineers. The moment of arrival at my building, i saw a lot of guys flooding the whole floor outside my office.

And yes, people, my friend had this online shop which have gorgeous clothes and bags! Oh my god! Look at those bags! *drool* I'm so going to buy it!

website: http://shopaholicbabes.blogspot.com

So go and take a look okay? No harm just surfing through it. I can feel the magnetic fields again. Shucks. Someone, help me. I've turned into a compulsive shopaholic.

I can't help BUYING!

Buying is the not the problem.

The problem is MONEY!

Oh heck. Isn't that everyone's problem?

Anyway, i'll keep all of you updated.

Meanwhile, please don't click on other links other than the talk and stories. I'd not update the other links. No time.

Feeling sleepy.. and it's only 1opm. So not me.

But i'm still going to sleep.

Night, people!

2008-11-16T13:21:00.004+08:00

I'm still working on the blogskin. Patience is a virtue, people.

Wait and be patient.

Oh yes, I'm starting my new job on Tuesday! Ain't that great? That means I've no time and more money! I wonder if i should be happy. What's the use of so much money if I've no time to spend it? But my basic is darn low as I'd be under probation period for 3 months before increment in $200-$300. But it's okay. Anything is better than my current cash flow!

Let me think, where i went yesterday?

Oh yes. Went to Tanah Merah's Temple to pray then went to my uncle's wake.

Couldn't help crying (though i hope no one sees it)

Life is short and unpredictable.

Therefore, cherish whoever you have with you before he/she'd be gone the next second you know it. Anything can happen the next second. I might be typing happily now but who knows whether I'd die when i step out of the house later.

I was in a seriously bad mood last night. Luckily, my bf and buddy accompanied me to the wake. =) Arigato! Thank you! You've no idea how much it meant to me! Then darling was seriously... sigh.. hopeless... his sense of direction seriously cannot make it. I was half dead from hunger and he was busy getting lost. But nevertheless.. oh ya.. why was i feeling sulky?.. I'm not sure either. Guess kinda affected at the wake.

I only have one day left to enjoy.. sob.. before work commence...

I've no time for anything else anymore... I've to study and work... oh no...

*cries*

2008-11-11T12:42:00.002+08:00

And I'm sooooo going to change my blogskin soon.

2008-11-11T12:24:00.005+08:00

Finished my assignment AT LAST!

I spent 1/4 of my time typing out the analysis and 3/4 of my time deleting additional words to stay within the word limitation which is 2000. I typed about... 3000? =x

Someone said I'm one of a kind. oops. Don't know which idiot created word limitation.

I want to be a social escort! I wonder how it feels like.

Suddenly, i lose all interest of Psychology. Should have taken up human resource or mass communications. Shucks. *sob* Someone... help me. I'm stuck in the course for 2 and a half years. Can you believe it that for each sentence of an article, I've to check the dictionary for like 3 times? Imagine there are 500 sentences in each article. *faint*

And i wish my family will stop pestering me to go acupuncture! What's with needles poking into my back!? It's not about the pain, it's about the NEEDLES! I will DIE if one single tiny needle poke into me. I'll faint on the spot.

Suddenly, i feel so incoherent. All my thoughts are jumbled up. I wonder if this is a sign of a mental illness.

I can't imagine having to go Australia to study after this course. As if dying in Singapore is not sufficient... i still have to go Australia to die one more time. I wonder if that makes me a cat who have nine lives.

I still have so many things left undone! There's so much things to be done and accomplished but yet I've no time and money!

I still want to continue my singing and acting classes, work as marketing executive, study the stupid course, volunteer and i need time for my friends and family! HOW!!! I'm short of TIME!

Suddenly i feel that I've no time for ANYTHING!

I still have so many books left unread! So many things to explore! So many places to go to!

I want to go beach, gym, night safari, shopping, SO MANY PLACES TO GO!

Wild Wild Wet! Yippee!! Next stop for buddy and I... WILD WILD WET! =D

Christmas Presents... can each of you buy one book of true crimes for me? =x I'd be DELIGHTED!! Best if it's with regards to Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper (Though i already have one of the book) blah blah blah... OH YES!! I TELL ALL OF YOU! I saw one of the book at Page One that compiles ALL THE NEWS and TONS OF PICTURES of ALL THE SERIAL KILLERS! OH MY GOD! I'll WORSHIP THE BOOK IF I CAN HAVE IT! I'll put up an altar just for it! AAAHH!! But it's darn expensive. It cost like 50 - 6o dollars? *sigh*

I hope it'd still be available after i start work and get my first pay.

I want to buy LOTS OF CLOTHES! I saw a couple of tops at G2000, DARN BEAUTIFUL! I want it!!! I had to force myself out of the retail shop. When i was stepping out of the shop, i could feel the tops chanting to me, "Don't go, buy me buy me." and i could have swore i sense some sort of magnetic devices drawing me back to the shop! Can all of you FEEL what I'm feeling?!

Shit.

Someone up there, drop money to me please.

A puking experience

2008-11-08T12:06:00.002+08:00

I watched Saw IV with Alex and Buddy last night.

*puke*

I spent practically 3/4 of the movie covering my eyes and at the end of the movie, I swallowed back the urge of scolding vulgarities. Throughout the whole show, people are tortured by cutting themselves. There's even one that cut his own arm using an auto blade so bad that his whole arm split into half. I bought hot dog bun inside that I requested for chili... I didn't have the appetite to eat anymore.

Buddy and Alex are such sadists. I think they love watching people being tortured. They were smiling throughout the whole movie. Buddy was like, "Eh eh! The person's arm split into half leh! Have see anot?!" I got SO disgusted. How on earth ANYONE can tahan this show ah? And there's this front part where this guy's belly got slit by a blade over and over again. WAH LAN!

*faint*

I almost cried inside the movie.

I've an assignment to do.

SOMEONE! Help me read my articles and explain it to me can?!

My hands smell of prawns. I was cutting up the prawns to take out the intestines.

140 prawns.

woot!

Dad was darn proud of me.

EH PEOPLE! Dun kan suay me ok! I helped out in cooking since primary 1!

Serious!

In Pain

2008-11-05T00:30:00.001+08:00

If the pain doesn't go away soon, I'm going to have to crawl wherever I go...

ARGH! SOMEONE HELP ME! I can't find my painkillers!

I can't sleep, walk, run, stand or stand!

I need a massage!

I need OSIM chair!

Someone buy it for me!

*sob*

I wanna cry

Happy~

2008-11-01T09:01:00.003+08:00

One of my friend said, "我只想要有一个人来爱和照顾。跟我分享一切。为自己而活，真是没有意义。想为我爱的人而奋斗而活，那有该多好。”

I understand how he feel. So I do not understand how selfish people do it. That they are able to survive for the sake of themselves. All they think of is winning people. All they think of is satisfying themselves. These kind of people they will never understand “为别人而努力” 的感觉。People are weird. Those who want someone to love them and likewise doesn't have it. While otherwise, the ones that have it, don't cherish it. How ironic is the world?

Anyway..

I can't wait for my hair to grow longer!! Much much longer!! I wish to perm again!! And this time, I'll do a different hairstyle. *excited*

New year is coming again which means... more ANG BAOs! =D

But sometimes, kind of dread the feeling of going relatives house because... oh well.. let's not talk about it.

Oh yes, Christmas is coming first and that means my beloved Brother's Birthday is coming! Time sure passes by fast. It seems like yesterday we were celebrating last year's Christmas! Hmm.. Okay.. wait.. where did i celebrate my brother's birthday last Christmas... *recall*

Oh yes.. If I'm not wrong, it's in my house with my uncle and his family. We went to eat sushi and poor brother had a stomach ache =x But that's the day where i saw the MUMMIES EXHIBITION! Oh my God. I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. AAAAH! I wish to go Egypt! And Europe! And Japan!

Oh yes people, I'm going Japan on 18th December till 25th December. I can't wait for that day to arrive! Finally! I'd waited for SO MANY YEARS! Our family is going out as a whole to overseas!! Aren't all of you excited for me!? *grins*

And I'm going to get a whole new wardrobe! Lalala~

I can sense a good year ahead of me and for the upcoming one!

YAY!!!!

Watch and learn, people. Must be optimistic!

Learnt a lot and had a free umbrella. Yippe!

2008-10-22T10:30:00.002+08:00

It was raining heavily yesterday. I was suppose to meet buddy at Clarke Quay. So I was walking and all initially, it was raining so hard. When I reached the bungy area, it was raining cats and dogs already.

Then buddy called..

Buddy: Eh! Bud! Where are you ah?
Li Li : Bungy area leh.
Buddy: Raining very heavily leh. You wait for me there, I go fetch you.
Li Li: Okay okay.

And i hung up the phone.

Then i saw two guys holding an umbrella at the bungy area. They were wearing the uniforms so i guess they worked there. So i just stood at the shelter.

Then this mixed-blood guy who was holding onto the umbrella walked towards me. Initially, I thought he wanted to walk pass me to get to somewhere else. Then he came to me and said..

"Hey.. My friend over there ***** (i forgot what's the name), has a gift for you. Here."

And he gave me the umbrella.

I asked, "Eh? Both of you don't need it?"

He said, "Yes. So have to bring back okay?"

So i said, "okay. Thanks!"

And i walked pass his friend after that who was like congratulating him or something. I didn't know what was going on but i just know i don't have to get drenched in the rain!

So i called buddy and asked him to just wait at the shelter.

Buddy saw me and asked, "Eh? Where you got the umbrella from?"
Li Li: A guy gave it to me
Buddy: Wah lao! Again ah... Like that also can.
Li Li: -.-" Err... I don't care so much as long as I have umbrella
Buddy: He should ask you for his number right there and then instead of asking you to return umbrella. Haha!
Li Li: Oh well.

So i ended up with a free umbrella! Yippee!

Anyway, I was really touched with what buddy told me saying I'd been a very positive influence to him and he'd learnt a lot of things from me. =D So I'd not wasted my past few years of living. =x Hahaha!

And people, I'd learnt to relax and take things easy in life.

It's a great accomplishment.

And I think I'd learnt a great deal about relationships for the past few months.

And I shall not let it happen again in my next relationship.

I'd do better.

Mouth bigger than the brain. LOL

2008-10-21T15:31:00.002+08:00

I shall not be taken for granted ever again.

*hit table*

Call me unreasonable, princess attitude, spoiled brat and whatever you want but I shall not bow down to people who don't deserves my kindness.

I'd been kind enough and I'd dare to say I'd put in a lot effort. In the first place, I do not know why I even bother.

Yes, it is my nature to be nice but I'd enough of being taken for granted.

I just want to be selfish for this once.

So just let me be.

I don't wish to be hurt again be it mentally or emotionally.

Okay, that's all for the confession of the heart.

Let's see..

EH CLEMENT! I'm so good to you hor... I'm learning the song you asked me to learn. Damn hard leh!!! =( If I learnt it, you treat me to Kbox is it? *grins*

You know how torturous it is a not? My fingers are so short, my hand is small and frankly speaking, I'd never finished a playing a score ever in my life. I'd give up half way to listen to the music and play my own score. =x So if I'm able to complete it as according to the score, you will treat me Kbox hor? We delay for a long time liao wor. *sob*

And I must thank my beloved Xavier Buddy who has always been there for me through thick and thin, through smiles and laughter! =D Damn steady one lah this person. And his mother is a REALLY GOOD COOK. Goodness. *drool* =x

Sigh. I'm wondering why are there so many insincere people.

Eh, readers, let me ask you..

why the hell would people want to say something that they are not sincere about?

I rather they not say anything than make a fool out of themselves.

I love to give my all to people.. and it's people like them who discourages me from trusting people.

And people have the perception that I'm a spoiled brat.

In the first place...

DO I HAVE A SIGN ON MY FACE THAT READS:

I AM A SPOILED BRAT, PLEASE COMMENT?

No right?

Secondly,

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?

Thirdly,

If you think you are so perfect, WHY AREN'T YOU UP THERE?

Point proven.

And to people who speak without thinking.....

I feel sad for you..

Because the size of your mouth is bigger than the size of your brain.

I don't see why should i bother about such people's feelings when they don't take notice of mine.

To think I even treat you as my friend.

I feel disgusted, seriously.

I need sleep!

2008-10-19T06:29:00.002+08:00

Someone! Please! Help me!

Anyone!!

It's like 6.33am in the morning and I'm awake!

My brain and, eyes, legs and just my entire body refuse to cooperate!

I need sleep!!

I even feel exhausted trying to drag myself back to bed!

Is there a name for such abnormal behaviour??

Guess I just have got to do some reading then.

*roll eyes*

Reading at 6.36am~

Weeee

I hate M1

2008-10-15T09:35:00.003+08:00

Switched on my M1 Prepaid card and realized the STUPID SIM CARD EXPIRED!

It's only been A MONTH! Now it's going to cost me another 20 bucks to get another sim card.

And when i called to ask if i am able to renew, the say no.

FREAKING inefficient can!!

What if let's say I was going to get kidnapped and i accidentally grab the prepaid card phone..

when i tried dialing, den couldn't dial a SINGLE stupid number because it EXPIRED.

Initially, I'd be able to get help. But because of the INEFFICIENCY of M1 due to the STRINGENT policy, I'd be killed!!!

Okay, this scenario is like too far off but that's besides the point.

I'm so freaking piss.

oh and anyway! Remember my cousin who got into motorcycle accident?

He is able to TALK NOW!!! =D and he is able to move as well!!!

YAY!!! I'm so happy for him!!!

But my uncle got admitted to hospital.. sigh.

Oh well.

Okay i'm hungry.

I hope i still remember how to cook instant noodles. =x

About me!

2008-10-02T11:58:00.002+08:00

1. Loves to laugh
2. Loves to cry
3. Emotional
4. Sensitive
5. Quick-witted
6. Critical at times
7. Straight-forward
8. Loves to help
9. Insulting at times
10. Loves to shop when in a bad mood
11. Loves to give small prep talks
12. Quick to get angered but quick to simmer down
13. Loves to have fun even in public
14. Loves reading
15. Loves coffee, green tea, chrysanthemum, lemon tea, red bubble tea
16. Loves hard liquor esp in a lousy mood
17. Loves music
18. Loves singing
19. Loves the beach
20. Loves flowers
21. Hates inconsiderate and rude people.
22. Forgives but do not forget
23. Sympathetic
24. Loves gaming
25. Loves relaxing
26. Loves the stars
27. Loves to be protected
28. Loves to take care of people.
29. Darn naggy
30. Defensive